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Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Hi all! we are a couple – Leo and Lia. our guest, ‘s name is Sarah. let’s get acquainted!
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Hm-mm. Nope. Even if this isn’t real, you’re a walking bouquet of red flags and you need therapy, but assuming it is?
Domestic violence isn’t a joke, and I need you to hear that you didn’t just threaten violence, or “pretend” to threaten to commit it. You committed it… the second you put your hands on her to stop her from leaving your apartment, YOU FULLY AND UNEQUIVOCALLY COMMITTED IT.
And I hope she presses charges, because she’d have several to press. Grabbing her as she’s trying to leave is assault, but the fact that you grabbed her to prevent her from leaving, and then escalated further to lead her to believe you would retaliate with violence if she tried to escape, having no legal authority or justification for keeping her inside your apartment… pretty much lands this little “prank” squarely within the legal specifications for what constitutes false imprisonment. No crime was committed on her part, nor did she consent to remain in your apartment after she decided to leave. You simply prevented her from leaving because you decided she had to hear you out, which really just means you couldn’t control your anger when she did something you didn’t like, so (like a maladjusted toddler, and every violent abuser/criminal ever) you used violence and intimidation to physically force her to do what you wanted. You escalated. She went to leave, you put your hands on her in anger by grabbing and pulling her, she reacted to your violence with exactly the amount necessary to stop the action (and one of the few options still at your disposal to stun a man who’s willfully abandoned, as your verbiage describes, all self-control with only one hand free) and you took it up another notch to scare and further intimidate her through actions communicating a clear and larger threat.
Not only should she stay clear the hell away from you, you need to stay clear the fuck away from her too, because she has stated in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t want to maintain any sort of contact with you. And hey, by the way… if you don’t do exactly what she’s asked, any further unnecessary contact can be used to build a case for a restraining order, on the grounds of both harassment and domestic violence.
Speaking as a former victim of exactly this kind of abuse, I hope the next time you see her is in court, and I hope you aren’t so “lucky” when the judge moves to slap you with jail time plus attorney fees.
The girl he was cheating on me with found out about me (he was cheating on her with me also) and texted me, inc screenshots
At first he tried to deny it, but then when I showed him the screenshots he really couldn’t anymore
But it was always stuff like “oh for my birthday we’re going to beach it’ll be fun” then it never happened, or “we’ll spend the weekend together” and nope. Then he’d be super attentive but other times would barely answer my texts.
Once I found out with lot of things made more sense.
I guess you're right. These feelings should be genuine, I shouldn't have to double guess myself. Thanks for the insight, stranger. I think it might be time to foreclose this man off the market permanently, the frustration behind not understanding these feelings just isn't worth it on my mental in the long run. It's time I work on self-care.
She was dating his job, not him. Perfect timing.
Yeah, my husband saw my face and asked me what was wrong. He thought I was watching a video of something gross.
Yeah it's really hot to know what the real deal is and what is bullshit. She may don't want to loose me, or she is just scared to hurt me. All I can do now is working out whats best for me, don't know what hurts more, to end it and always wonder what could've been or to linger around and cut contact short and wait. Both options are painful but I need wo wage whats more painful. But I know from experience that this is over.
Who mentioned polyamory?
Yep you made your husband cry that's over the top already. Are you always angry while pregnant?..Get something to help calm you down…like listening to soothing music, meditate?. ..whatever suits you.
And also careful.not to neglect or be too horrible on your husband…most men cheats when their wife is pregnant.
Just want honest advice 🙁 trying to explain how i actually feel I can’t help it
Stop having sex with men who expect you to have 100% of the responsibilities regarding reproduction. He doesn't give a shit about you. Also go get tested and continue to do so regularly until you haven't had sex with him for 6 months.
We both work.
Generally, a dad is going to have a hot time telling friends and family he isn't working and relies on the wife's income while he raises kids.
I don't know why Reddit is having an allergic reaction to a pretty well observed biases society still holds against SAHDs.
Are they celebrated where you come from? I've never known a country that outwardly supports men staying home.
You need to completely cut that sexual activity off immediately and maybe even tell his damn mother if he won’t listen.
I know that seems awful and weird but listen, I have a heart issue right. When my heart gets it’s little dancy dance going, I sweat, get dizzy, throw up- definitely doesn’t happen during sexual activity as I have triggers for my medical issue but, definitely doesn’t sound normal medically at all. That’s why I say tell his mother if he won’t listen, moms always shit on their sons for not taking health serious. And she will absolutely force him to go if he refuses to listen to you.
i can't just do that, he's a busy person as well bc he's an acad-focused person
I’ve met some guys in open relationships. It’s really not that strange these days. If you’re able to go to his house, then he’s clearly not nervous of his gf showing up randomly and finding out.
Literally the only thing that is suspicious about him is that he’s dating someone so much younger
The one with the medical issue is the one claiming they're passing out. A third party not noticing him passing out, because they're engaged in other activities at the moment, is a very strange reason to write that symptom off as a lie.
AHH I NEEDED THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU.
Okay, speaking of meal prepping, I have no idea how to start. And what kind of diet I should go for if I want to lose fat and build muscle. I'm too busy to go and visit a nutritionist, but I was wondering if you had any idea where I could find a valid source of information to start?
And what kind of workouts I can do with minimum weights for now since I don't have access to a gym (so busy I'm not allowed to go outside for 2 months).
First, I would seek therapy and try to discover the root of this problem and possible solutions. As far as telling your BF, you should. Let him know what you're struggling with mentally and if he genuinely supports and cares for you, he'll support you.
So I was in a similar position as your GF at one point. I had a couple work colleagues that were supervisors with me and I was close friends with them. One was a man and one was a woman. We would all call each other and shoot the shit semi frequently but not once a day. More like 2 to 4 times a week max. Nothing ever crossed a line, ever.
Also me and the woman were sent to a training site out of state where we stayed in separate rooms. Again nothing ever crossed a line and never came close to that.
My wife did have a problem with this woman but I didn't really know what to say or do about it. Like she was my friend? It's not like we hung out together outside of work and if we did my wife was always invited and went with me. Shes my ex wife now because she was an enormous cheater so take that for whatever it's worth.
Im sorry you had to go through that. I think he is taking ownership, and he acknowledges that this was his fault. And the therapist is very clear that this is not an excuse for his actions. She’s just saying that childhood trauma is what led him to have poor coping mechanisms. She is very aware that he made this choice himself regardless.
Also, “I can't wait until you get home so I can whisper all of this into your ear”. If she likes ASMR then she'll dig this.
Being single to work on yourself, and your mental health is a very healthy move on your part. It will help you be able to potentially have a healthy relationship in the future.
But for now, you need to set some hot boundaries with your ex. Make it clear you do not feel ready to be in a relationship right now, and the one you two had was toxic. And that he needs to accept that the two of you are over. And if cannot, then you will need to block him, so that he can move on.
He'll either accept it, or he won't. Either way, follow through, and block him if he doesn't. That past girlfriends have also blocked him, speaks volumes.
Agreed. I messed up royally here. Had I just done the counseling I would have avoided this bigger mess and at lease had a chance and saving our marriage
man I dunno I would never post my wife’s real anything on this garbage dump of a website
I think your cousin is poisonous drama llama who made up the most hurtful lie she could think of because you wouldn't bend to her will.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and sorry this woman is trying to sully your partner's memory.
Go on r/deadbedrooms and see if this is what you want for the rest of your life.
Ah yes, he’s scum. what a scumbag! And what is she? She has a husband and kids. She is referring to her ex as the love of her life. How unbelievably disrespectful do you have to be to do this while married?
She is literally willing to risk her current husband and family and is being asked to be talked out of it by reddit.
If the current husband saw this post, how would he feel?
You have the scum reversed, it’s not him.
It’s not berating your opinion (which is just that) I’m berating your assumption that trans=mental illness because it doesn’t. I’m also not assuming anything about you. I’m simply reading your comments and responding to how you made yourself come across as. It does appear you have a level of education that would come from the Bible Belt because none of what you said is rooting in facts only opinions. Not every person in the Bible Belt area is religious. But every person in the Bible Belt area has to contend with lackluster education at best. Which explains why you don’t understand that being trans is not a mental illness and how physicians don’t even allow transitioning if you have a mental health disorder.
If he sees the problem as caused by the “trans community” and ignores that this is the 376 school shooting since Columbine then this in not a “leans” left vs “leans” right issue.
7 months since the incident. I knew her 1 month before we became exclusive. She has no contact with him on any social media. However, he works at her workplace and goes to the same school.
Yes just started therapy 3 weeks ago
Well, firstly your assistant is losing her lunchtime every Friday. This is illegal where I live. Even if you're buying her food, it is not acceptable. You could have the meeting early in the day WHEN SHE IS ON THE CLOCK. You could buy some pastries, etc.
It’s true, but you did reminded me and I’m grateful ?
I get it! My husband is an awesome gift giver, too. He’s a natural at it and I don’t understand how he always pulls off something amazing…
So, I’m going to share what he did for me for my 40th, in case you find it helpful since you mentioned Epcot.
My husband paid for us to take a helicopter tour over Epcot to see the fireworks and watch the water show from the sky. It was an absolutely unforgettable experience – extra special because he kept it a secret and made the pilot and flight staff also swear to secrecy… so I had no idea what was happening until the music started in my headphones when we were hovering way above Disney.
Not quite the same experience, but earlier that same day he also booked us an excursion to go on an Everglades swamp boat tour. I’m a nature lover, so it was an awesome gift for me.
Hope that helps!
Tell him to Shut The Fuck Up about anal and to stop ruining sex or he'll never get sex again. He's an asshole not respecting your No.
They think he doesn't treat me well, I'm a single mom basically, I need to write down and tell him everything, or couples therapy. But I feel like I do say I need help but unless I have exactly what to do he won't know and even then feels like he just doesn't do it or stops doing it. Some people say he talks so greatly about me. I'm just worried, especially with a kid, that I'm overreacting and he's trying/doing enough.
I havent been able to talk to her without feeling below human for a while, always ends in an argument and im a very positive going guy loved by most because of my personality (not trying to sound like a douche im just very friendly) and i dont like arguing. It sounds like the move to make but im scared itll just end up putting me in a position where im sad again and it kinda cripples me for a few days when that happens.
Lady, leave
Don't forget how he's ignoring her bodily autonomy.
I feel sorry for her boyfriend and for you
Both have been dragged into this mess and realistically should find other options.
what has she tried in improving her temper? If she hasn't actually tried anything then that means she isn't actually looking to improve, and she's looking for someone to put up with it. Dude, I've been there. Heard the exact same thing until break up when my ex said that it's just how she is. Tried to salvage the relationship as well, find compromises. Nothing worked because there is nothing YOU could do. My parents said that if this type of shit is showing face 3 months in, the rest of your relationship can only go down-hill. And they were right. Temper is one of the biggest possible red-flage IMO.
This can’t be right. A 46 year old dating a 21 year old and going ballistic and having an adult tantrum like that? There’s a reason he’s 46 and chasing younger naive women like you. Leave and dump him before he bashes you physically.
Did he ask you to come back?
Look, if you were cool with the idea of spending the next 5-7 years in a relationship with an ending deadline? Then sure, you made a mistake.
But if you want kids and you're 27, I dont think i have to tell you that 5-7 years isn't time you have to waste
So what he's saying is that the more independent you become, the less he is willing to contribute and the more controlling and manipulative he will be. I say RUN!
Ah yes, Reddit strangers. The perfect Therapists.
Thanks…I can get aroused with stimulation but not a lot. Sex is usually painful. I don't overly enjoy it but I figure if I can 'turned on' with the help of meds or something it might help.
Wtf…
I get what you're saying. I was just hoping there was something out there I hadn't heard of that could give women a higher libido. I know women with high libidos, they crave sexual contact. They don't have to try and get in the mood for two hours beforehand…it's just a natural normal desire for them to want sex. That's all I'm asking about…if there's another option other than hours of foreplay and psyching yourself up.
We are both aware it isn't healthy and we're now at the point where we both don't know what to say to each other anymore. We both love each other but just can't seem to work through our issues as every time we think we've resolved things something goes wrong again. I feel like I'm trying so hot as a man to be who she and my children need me to be but it's never enough. It's a constant battle in my mind. I always feel like what I do isn't enough. It affects my work and whatever social life I have left. Respectfully I hear what you're saying. And it makes sense. There has to be more to life than this
If everyone is not 100% on board before it happens, it will destroy every relationship involved.
You and husband need to sit down and discuss expectations, concerns, hot lines, safe words, etc. If you both can come to an agreement you're both comfortable with, then only then do you approach someone else and have the same discussion with them to get them on the same page also.
I don't regret having a baby.
Cool, because it's not you who has to deal with growing up with an abusive mother. Its your child that is going to suffer because of your terrible decisions.
Never, ever put your dick in anyone that says the pull out method will work just fine…
If you decide to go for it, congrats on being a daddy at some point
My suggestion is that you put “No gifts please. Your presences is our gift” in small print on the wedding invitations. That's the only classy way to do this. Do not tell people not to come if they bring a gift. That's rude. I get how you feel but you have to accept that asking for no gifts is the compromise. Demanding no gifts or getting mad when someone gets you one (because some people will, no matter what you say) is not going to end well for your wedding or your relationship.
Look, I think requesting no gifts is perfectly fine and appropriate. It gives an “out” to people who don't really have extra money, so you're not being a burden on them. That said, you still need to be gracious to the people who do bring gifts. You don't have to open gifts at the wedding. Most people don't anyway. Let your fiance handle thank you notes afterwards for the gifters.
Just go about your business and stop trying to micromanage people.
No experience is meaningless if you can learn something from it.
Add a pirate costume for the win.
Way to much to read. If you love your wife figure it out. Part of controlling yourself of any addiction is to reduce the temptation. Keep computers in an open space. Don’t have private passwords. Put on child filters. Just like an alcoholic needs to avoid bars…. Get a better therapist. Or, enjoy your prom. Just let me say as one older than you, when you go to the hospital when you are 55 your favorite porn star isn’t going to sit by your bedside. When you lose a parent or close relative no one from Youporn will go the funeral with you and hold your hand.
You can make a choice her if you want to. My dad gave up a 30 year smoking habit cold Turkey and that is harder to break than. What is on a screen.
The family was very wary when she first introduced him to us and expressed our concern her about dating an older man. But after getting to know him over the years, he was the best thing for her. She stopped her clubbing & drug use and settled down. He was the best thing for her. In reality is she pursued him. She pushed to move in with him, she pushed him to get married, and she pushed to have 3 kids. Now she wants to go back to her footloose lifestyle but in order to do so without loosing the respect of her current social circles she needs to make him look like a abusive sack of crap, which he is not.
I even told him since his cars dying he can have my SUV and I'll continue making the payments and get me a cheap car to drive to and from work since I work closer than he does.
So you're willing to put yourself out even more for him and he's still demanding more control?
What the fuck, dude.
Make sure you have lots of time, get her properly warmed up, and be gentle.
if he's a grown man acting this way, he may continue to have some immaturity problems for a WHILE. and if he ever grows out of them, do you want to stick around and endure THIS waiting for that day that may or may not come ?
this is so stupid that he's mad at you over mayonnaise. it's not your responsibility to stock the condiments 24/7. to put it eloquently … shit happens.
Adults don’t just make out. They had sex.
Ah man, this gave me flashbacks to when I was younger, like pre-teen/early teens. The husband of a family friend had just cheated on her. I was appalled and asked my mum what he did, if it was kissing or whatever.
My mum was like “come on, don’t be silly. They’re adults, what do you think they did? They had sex.” I count that as one of the moment that shattered my innocence and made me lose a lot of respect for these adults I was supposedly expected to look up to cause they were grown.
I think you mean wants at the end but I kind of love that is says warts. I’m sorry you went through that for so long, I hope you were able to take some good out of it and are in a better situation now. Woke up this morning and he had left the house so I can’t even talk to him about it. He avoids confrontation and knows that I’m upset. Heading to my mums now with a packed bag to spend some time apart. Thank you x
He's actually not “a great boyfriend”, not for you anyway. He's someone who still worries about a person he spent part of his life with – you know, like a decent human being. But when backed into a corner about it he flailed around, pulled out the “toxic” card then finally settled on her being suicidal just to get you to back off. If you demand a blank slate and total obeisance in a relationship you need to find someone who's never had a romantic partner before. This way there'll be no exes and you can train this person to create a socal media shrine to you in exactly the way you want it done. You and this guy aren't a good fit.
let me take a wild guess.
you work and make money and therefore she felt like you didn't give her enough attention?
This was the ONLY decision to make. It’s not just you, it’s your kid. But it hurts to lose someone. Take a little time alone to mourn. Grieve it like a death. Work through your anger, fear, sadness. Breathe deeply, love yourself and accept this reality.
I wouldn't stress it too much. Just leave it out. If they do for some reason recognize it and there is some issue with that i'm sure it wouldn't be hot to make amends. Since it was out on the side of the road the odds of it being an issue are small.
He is an idiot, block him and move on.
Ff you are married and you catch feelings for someone else the only proper thing to do is separate yourself from the other person before it goes too far. Your husband didn't and it has gone way past too far. Now he is doubling down and rubbing into your face.
Telling you no matter what he feels for her he still loves you is total BS. He is knowingly causing you needless pain and distress by conscious choice for his own needs. He is a cheater, a total POS and if he ever loved you he does not now.
There is no way now that your life with this man will ever be anything close to the marriage you deserve. Get a lawyer, start a divorce and go no contact with him.
My mom and dad met at work. My best friend and his wife met at work. Long lasting relationships often start through work.
Break up, don’t let somebody stress you out at 18.. too young for that bullshit
I know but given the situation.. I feel like it’s weird.
And asking if he’s interested in friends… clearly that’s not an option.
I mean he added me on fb but that was before things went bad