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What's your worry here? Is there a reason you can't be the more ambitious partner?
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Okay, I’m not gonna jump on the age thing or whatever, just try to give you some advice (you don’t have to take it, of course.)
How about doing some sort of educational program while you stay home? Getting a degree (and there are plenty available on-line) would allow you to be available for your son and develop skills to get a career, rather than just a job. It will keep you occupied both physically and mentally.
Think about the things you are good at and would like to learn. Even if you don’t take accredited classes towards a degree, are there courses you could take to increase your skills in other areas you enjoy?
When you have the opportunity, learn something new!
Best of luck. I hope your partner and your child appreciate you. As you get older, you will realize more and more what you need from your relationship. I hope you get it, and if you feel you don’t, may you have the strength to stand up for yourself.
Give that child a hug, he’s lucky to have someone who cares for him like you do.
I'm going to be honest, I don't think you should be this into a relationship and not even be sure about kids. Kids is an important aspect of a relationship for him based off he sees kids as the reason for the relationship. If he says this:
he said of course I’d still love you I didn’t mean I’d stay with you
Then that's a sign that he wants kids. He made it explicitly clear, and it's up to you on if you want to do it. I know having a kid would impact you a lot more than it would impact him, but if he wants kids, then he has the right to pursue a relationship that provides such a dealbreaker. The question is if this relationship sustains his dealbreaker.
And if I had to guess, you genuinely aren't into kids but feel sort of pressured into it. Your change in stances, to me, is a sign to me that you're highly doubtful about the benefits of kids. Any reasoning you've yet listed for kids was related to him. And on top of that, you're thinking of a world without kids in the future considering you're asking the “if I didn't have kids would you love me?” thing. From what I can understand- and correct me if I am wrong because I only have little context- you internally don't really feel like having kids all that much, but feel somewhat like you need to be in order to be loved by your partner.
It is not healthy if that's the case.
So, I advise you learn to make up your mind. Find a reason to have kids for you. But don't decide because of him or some societal expectation.
That’s fucking dumb, dude. An acrimonious relationship with someone you on-line with can ruin your life, even if you’re in separate bedrooms. You moved way too fast and now you’re finding out that you didn’t know each other well enough to make a commitment like this.
The difference isn’t in the hardware, it’s in the performance and the context.
In general, a male stripper does not put on the same type of performance as a female stripper.
Make mini cardboard models of your furniture, color it as needed. Make a box as a model of your room. Let her play with it.
Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who lied to you? Especially a lie that they more likely than not told because they knew you may have been uncomfortable with the truth and allowed you to continue with something under false pretenses?
Normally with a FWB situation I'd question how this matters, especially if it was never discussed beforehand, but seeing as you did discuss it, it's obvious it was a boundary for you to not sleep with someone a friend had slept with and she willfully lied to you in order to get what she wanted.
I would suggest not continuing the relationship or at the very least not taking it any further. She already demonstrated that she is untrustworthy. Going through her phone, especially while not even in a committed relationship, is a bit overboard but I'd call it even and leave it at that, don't bother explaining why and just stop.