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It’s going to be a whole lifestyle change for her. It will take a lot of support and encouragement. She is probably panicking and frozen and stuck in her comfort zone. Also bartending is usually pretty good money and it’s difficult to imagine how much harder/longer she may have to work with a day job. Idk those are some things that I would consider that a person may experience in this situation. Help her figure out what she’s into and encourage her to go for it if you want to be a partner, don’t just demand change.
Thank you for being a voice of reason. I feel like I’m losing my mind reading this sub sometimes. I sincerely wonder if any one of these posters is able to maintain a healthy long term relationship that goes through even the slightest amount of adversity.
I am now curious what the situation appeared to be from your boyfriend and the random teammate. I suspect it was a ton different.
I am now curious what the situation appeared to be from your boyfriend and the random teammate. I suspect it was a ton different.
I just wanted to say, that I have complex PTSD and my partner has autism, ADHD and BPD.
There is a way out. I promise you. Nobody is broken beyond repair. The path to healing for some is long, complex and hot to find, but it exists!
Keep working on yourself, one step at a time. Take each day as it comes. Try not to make such absolute judgements about yourself – you don't understand yourself very well – nobody does.
You absolutely deserve to feel like a whole, healed human being and I believe that can happen.
You've been landed with this fight from the day you were born. It's what you've always been heading towards. Don't lie down and let life take your happiness and meaning away – it doesn't deserve it.
I just wanted to say, that I have complex PTSD and my partner has autism, ADHD and BPD.
There is a way out. I promise you. Nobody is broken beyond repair. The path to healing for some is long, complex and hot to find, but it exists!
Keep working on yourself, one step at a time. Take each day as it comes. Try not to make such absolute judgements about yourself – you don't understand yourself very well – nobody does.
You absolutely deserve to feel like a whole, healed human being and I believe that can happen.
You've been landed with this fight from the day you were born. It's what you've always been heading towards. Don't lie down and let life take your happiness and meaning away – it doesn't deserve it.
Wait… hers is quality time and you see her twice a week for quality activities? Imagine if you only got 2 hugs a week! Find a way to spend more time with her and then worry about more touch. I bet if you doubled the time she would be more open to providing more touching.
Also, make sure she knows you need non-sexual touching. Yesterday I was feeling a bit stressed and frustrated, so I help my wife in an embrace for a full minute. I could feel the stress leaving me.
Again him leading her… she could've said no! She's a married woman. How is this acceptable?
Ad a married woman i wouldn't let a friend of my husband take sexual explicit pictures of me.
That's a line you don't cross. And just because she said oops sorry it's okay?
Seems like u have aloot of issues in ur marriage that needs adressing such as boundaries and wtf marriage means.
Again She's not a teenager being led by the nose.. taking lingerie pics is one thing but spreading ur legs infront of another man.
Fuck no my guy. The fact ur wife thought that was okay says alot about ur relationship unfortunately.
U cannot justify it by saying she did an oopsie… now it's all his fault.
Let it go and move on. This person is at best unbalanced and at worst manipulative and evil. You don’t need that drama in your life. You’re missing the person you thought she was, not who she really is.
Well, yeah, her kids have to come first and if they don't that's how you know you're dealing with a bad person. She never should have agreed to this because of course when you're coparenting your coparent gets to dictate where the kids online and whom they're exposed to. It's unclear whether this guy knows you well and is just vindictive or whether the proper groundwork hasn't been laid for her to have a serious relationship. Unfortunately when you date a single parent you have to be involved with their ex. All the amenities you offer will mean nothing if the means the kids get dragged through (yet another) ugly custody battle. Ideally you wouldn't be living with these kids until you're married to their mother. So if she's worth the drama (that is absolutely always present in these kinds of situations) bide your time. Get to know this coparent and convince him you're safe to be around his kids. Moving in together is a huge step even if there aren't children and an ex involved. It doesn't sound like you've gotten the gravity of this through your head yet. Someone who shares kids with an ex simply doesn't have the freedom to just move in with somebody after only a year of dating.
Definitely, hot to undo a response and rethink it in the moment. If you find out there isn’t any negative personal experience attached to it, it may be as simple as the ‘if I were a worm’ jokes (in which case, always just say yes and shrug it off as us women taking hypotheticals too seriously and wanting fairytale answers ?)
Bro move on. You took her back. She does this? Why do you hate yourself?
Her saying this is a form of manipulation IS manipulation lol
Don't let her flip it on you.
Also, stop living in the same house. This will make things more difficult for you bc you want a relationship and she does not.
Don't say anything about it. She might, but might not, look at the age on the driver's license. If she does and she brings it up, tell her the truth: you and he both lied about your ages when you first got together, you pretending to be older, he pretending to be younger.
I'm surprised she's making this gift to two people who are so young, but it's nice that she is. If anything, his being a little bit older makes this a better risk for her down payment money.
As a 23 year old with not much experience in this area, I don't want to advice something silly, especially with everyone else doing a good job at it.
So I'll just thank you for the wholesome post amidst all the crap I see other people suffering through here. Thank you.
“in love”
“Married”
Lmaoooo yeah sure OP, almost had us..get back to your homework kiddo
Ask him. Point blank. Ask if your exclusive. Ask if your his girl. If he says no, then you can't exactly be jealous since he never made you official. But if he says yes, then explain to him why this behavior makes you uncomfortable.
Just remember, if his answer is no, then let him know you want exclusivity. If he can't give that then move on
Yeah something I’ve also noticed is while we did talk throughout the year, at some point it would fizzle out but he would always start the conversation up again around the time I would come visit. This is why I think you are right in that i should end it now to save myself from getting hurt later.
What the…? You really aren’t this dense are you? She cheated on you with a man that works at this store and now keeps going back to that store because checks notes”she can do what she wants”? But you won’t leave the relationship because you have a house and kids with this idiot? Yet, she would cheat on you even though you have a house and kids? Uh. I think you should make it very easy and just end it.
i do agree with this and that’s why the decision is very hot. these friends are relatively new to my life. my male bff has been in my life for almost 2 years and my female bff has been in for almost a year. when we first met, we just instantly clicked and became best friends. i also just recently had a falling out with a long term best friend that is completely off subject from this too so the stress of what happened with that is causing me to freak out more over this. (my ex genuinely had nothing to do with that friend breakup as well, it was just two people that had a falling out due to different life paths)