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I'm sorry dude but the chances of her 'just' kissing this guy for a couple of different meetings is slim to none, especially when they were alone at his house and sex could have escalated with much thought. I mean, come on now…the fact that she went back a second and third must mean that she was thinking about sex as an outcome, if not wanting it to happen. I feel like she is trying to get ahead of rumors that she's afraid you might hear so that she can control any potential drama that might erupt.
You need to her know that you suspect that a lot more went on than she says and how her story of only kissing just does not seem plausible. But then you run the danger of going down a rabbit hole that never ends and driving yourself crazy in the process. But I suspect that the rabbit hole goes much deeper than you can imagine right now.
It does not mean that you can't work through it though. This of course, is entirely up to you and revolves around whether or not you truly feel like you can trust her going forward. Couples counseling seems like the obvious next step, after you have another very hot conversation with her.
Whatever you decide, best of luck with it.
He’s being upfront with you, you not liking it doesn’t make it manipulative. I’m not saying that is a great relationship to go forward with, but if you don’t want this then you simply aren’t compatible and no one’s at fault. Just move on and find someone you don’t have to convince to be their gf.
Okay, that all seems reasonable and I'm glad you don't want to return to your ex-friend group!
At 20yo, your entire existence should not be wrapped up in one person; and this is precisely the reason why. You feel like you have to stay with her or you'll be all alone with no friends. That makes you liable to accept abusive behavior you shouldn't.
If therapy is not an option (if you're in college/uni they often have counseling available to students), then you should get yourself to your local library and do some reading in the self-help section. For now, leave your gf alone and let her process the relationship and figure out what she thinks the next step should be. Meanwhile, you should be doing some reading (online self-help articles will work, too) to decide what you think the next step should be…she doesn't get to decide…you BOTH do.
You need to find a new friend group so that you have a well-rounded life and also to give yourself and your gf (the current one OR a new one) some breathing space in life instead of expecting to be each other's “everything” which is unhealthy.
Exactly. I’ve told him I’m not going to request he never goes to strip clubs. I just do not want it for his Bachelor party. And you phrased it well.
What grosses me out is the vibe of “it’s my last night as a single unmarried man” “ooo very hot hot girls”. And that’s how he wants to celebrate his marriage with close friends? I also don’t really like it when women have male strippers for their bacholorette. It seems like a slight to their partner. That’s just how my heart feels.
Info: what was the fight from 2 year ago about and how does it relate to her traveling there again?
Leave him and take Sarah with you ?
If she dies, he can go camping a lot more. /s
At the end of the day sex isn’t the end all be all. People who think relationships are only successful if they involve an incredible sex life are naive.
I had the same issue with an ex. Towards the end, he would not reply to a text for a day or two and it irritated me. We had discussions and sometimes it improved but after a bit, it would happen again.
At Christmas, he didn't even bother to text me merry Christmas. I waited another day and silence. Finally, I sent him a wtf text two days after Christmas.
Fwiw, we were ldr opposite ends of the world. Jackass said, he figured we texted on his Christmas and he was “waiting” to hear back from me. I imploded and the coward was able to weasel out of the relationship without officially breaking up.
My bad for staying as long as I did. As for him, he had an avoidant attachment and he didn't even care and that's why to him, it didn't matter if he replied in a timely manner.
Help out?! He lives there with you, but he's not doing half of what needs doing? That's an issue! Just because at the beginning of the relationship when you moved in together, he wasn't able to? Doesn't mean he can't now. He's just grown accustomed to you doing everything. Let me tell you something OP: You're sick. You are experiencing medical grade exhaustion. Boyfriend needs to do 80% of the chores right now! I am glad he is stable on his new medication. This should free him up to help you like you helped him. And it won't be easy for him because he hasn't been asked to do anything. That is about to change. Believe me if you wind up staying with this guy? Explaining how this is going to work will be time well spent. If he's not willing to show up for you like this? Please get out of this relationship.
Don’t go. Don’t tell her. (Stand by your values but don’t create unnecessary pain. )