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This is exactly the type of response I was hoping for – someone who can relate to intentionally avoiding overt friendliness or flirtation…
And your suggestions are fantastic. I have never initiated a kiss with him. I do kiss him on the cheek sometimes and I try to complement how he looks as much as I can – but the idea of kissing him out of the blue is terrifying and would feel insincere despite how much I would love to do it. Even when he has kissed me, I can only image how stiff and awkward I was. But all these suggestions are like micro-flirting that can help me build up to it. Sincerely thank you for this response!
I wouldn't mind if we could please be a bit more generous to a person that was honest enough to talk about one of her mistakes, and not trash her in the way most people seem to do in this thread?
This level of honesty is commendable, trashing her like this is only going to suggest to her that maybe she shouldn't be. Let's all respect each other's feelings, please.
Insecure? Absolutely. They know it’s unwise and would feel no security in a long term relationship. Their history already demonstrated it. So they choose wisely to avoid it.
Any girl running around has issues.
But more for you. Someone needs to handle that group.
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Listen, what happens if someday you get horribly injured, you gain weight, and she has to wipe your ass? If appearances are something you're already concerned about, that's a you problem if you think you'll lose attraction. Go to counseling and sort this out, and don't marry this girl if that will be a problem.
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That’s not what we are talking about – we are talking about insecurities, which isn’t related to an action but our own perception. It’s common for men to feel inadequate when it comes to length, to have doubts brought on by a comment, even an unintended one, isn’t a red flag – it’s human nature.
No, she's not pregnant. She told me she never wanted kids before meeting me. We gradually started talking about names and she said she likes X name, to which I agreed is a beautiful name. We kept hypothetically talking about our future boy, using that name, now I can't say that name without thinking that's the name of a guy she used to date. It brought me so much joy talking about him before but now I don't even wanna say it out loud.
We're not talking about his post, are we. We're talking about his comment. It's a bit naked to have a conversation when you don't know what we're talking about.
You're just the guy she keeps on a string for when she doesn't feel up to going out and finding a casual hookup.
Commitment to her is nothing, it's a word she doesn't relate to in the least. She'll use it just to make you happy. She just wants to do what she wants to do and doesn't give a toss for your feelings.
Find someone with the same values as you, who'll treat you right.
He’s a 19YO dude. He isn’t having deep thoughts. And if you’re doing this over text, even less likely to get much out of him.
He said he's starting over too. Not sure the context but 40 dating 30 isn't automatically nefarious the way all the 28 dating 18s are.
Therapy for you to help get passed your trauma
Your asking him to cut off his parents. Thats a naked thing to do especially with a grand kid around. If you can't handle it you may be better to just move on. Give him the option of going LC with his mom, but I wouldn't bet on him saying yes.
Lovely response and if it was your daughter, the names would probably change anyway, so it really doesn’t matter.
You’ve communicated your feelings and he doesn’t seem to care. Is this behavior something you want to deal with for the rest of your life? To me, this comes off as he has lost feelings for you but he doesn’t want to be alone/maybe for financial reasons he doesn’t want to break up.
You deserve to be happy, so if he isn’t meeting your needs and won’t change then it sounds like it is time to break up and move on.
Please go to r/nonmonogamy for advice on this from people who’ve openly been practicing for years or decades!
When were the good times for y'all? Seems like stress and ultimatums all the way through. Toxic and destructive. Break free and heal, this isn't good for your soul.
Taking a peek is one thing but liking them….jerk move!
Why do you keep ducking that question?
I'm not staying tho. The alcohol is a bitch apparently
Would run from this girl so fast.
You need need to switch work spaces if he doesn’t take meetings and you do, or rotate in and out of the private room based on scheduling and need. It’s not a lot of space but it can work.
My mom was always really naked to buy for. The thing that worked for me was to look for something she really liked and then get her the most luxe version of it I could find. The most decadent very hot chocolate bombs, the softest slippers, a gorgeous brass and green glass banker's lamp to replace the fake (cheap) one she kept on her desk.
What an insufferable loser. Sorry you're in this spot you should be able to change rooms for harassment or bullying. You're going to have a better life don't let him get to you
He wants to hook up with someone else going to the party. Either then, or he's precheating (setting up his next relationship while still in one)
telling me I’m “very brave” and a “great little trooper”
Did everyone saying this isn't weird skip over this part?