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Not he worst outcome is the man killing himself because the girl is draining him financially and emotionally. Both worst case scenarios is death
You did something you said you wouldn't do. So you demonstrated you can't be trusted. She's right to be mad that you showed you cannot be trusted to keep your word.
I want to save this if at all possible
Let's backup here for a moment. Why do you want to save “this”? I get that love can cloud your judgements and emotions play a large part in why you wish to do this, but have you actually sat down and really asked yourself this question.
Why do you want to save this?
Having 5 sugars in their coffee I think they have a problem…
Actually I disagree about Sami's reasons for staying with him. I believe she is just an extremely compassionate person who takes her vows seriously. She wants to know that she can on-line with her own conscious by not dumping him when he is at his low point. Yes he's an ahole, but she is doing this for her own peace of mind and I commend her.
Simple cause he’s an asshole. Look you aren’t going to change him. He hasn’t stopped even after you’ve asked him to. That indicates he doesn’t respect you or cares about your personal boundaries. Staying instead of leaving just tells him he can keep treating you like that.
If this were your mom or your bestfriend being treated like this would you still want them to be in that relationship?
No it was good at first up until about 2 and half months ago idk what happened weve been married since before then in early November
You wanted to leave him. What’s the big deal?
I dealt with it by thinking of my friends and co-workers whose parents passed, and I see them doing OK nowadays (in public or at work, of course). It means that I can eventually get through it as well…as you can also.
It sucks..it definitely does…I see some senior citizens reaching 80 or 90 and wish my parents will also…but I also see many people passing away in their 60s and 70s, typical old age stuff, health problems, etc
we don't know which one will be our parents but we just have to accept that it will happen one day.
There's always the instruction and Internet. Some pornstars actually have videos on how to use it, maybe you should watch some. It'd be better than written instructions.
Last time was like 3 weekends ago. It's the date I mentioned where he said after it was fine but he didn't really think it felt the same, more like friends than partners. Not a lot. I know what he's doing but often we don't really chat except about practical things. I often avoid topics I know will cause conflict e.g. I told him all about a promotion opportunity at work that I was excited but also nervous about, he basically told me not to take it and that was the opposite to what I was expecting and was kind of condescending about my thoughts. It didn't make me feel good. I understand this. He however is totally unwilling to work on the body issues. I mentioned in another comment that I have been gently suggesting therapy or something for this for years. But he firmly doesn't believe therapy is real science or works, and won't go unless I make it an ultimatum (which will probably defeat the purpose as he will just go to the sessions and not do the work). The sex issue has been going on for around 4 years. I think so, at least anxiety and some mild depression, however see above point about therapy – no idea how to help him if he won't help himself with the tools I think he has.
She doesn't sound rationally capable of bringing a child to this equation.
Yes, from what you've written you are the only one who thinks he's gay.
He's being a friend to you. Be grateful for a person who cares for you (woman or man) and stop thinking about his Man Bits.
Unless you are gay yourself in which case you have bigger issues.
Can't argue much there, but I still don't think it justifies him at all. From a legal perspective, it's theft. If the husband were using OP's beliefs to push for grief counseling, I'd be 1000% in his corner. If he decided he couldn't handle it and wanted to seek separation, I'd disagree with the choice but I'd get where he's coming from. Giving away her cat while she's put of town? Nope. No sympathy from me on that one.
Ik. same. my family doesn't even care about these little stuff as much. And I'm having a naked time understanding why it is for her
Sorry to say it, but you never had a mother to lose. Cutting her off and burning the bridges is the best possible outcome, both for you and your family.
No, you’re totally right. I cannot entirely blame him for that. I need to communicate things to him soon, and clearly. I just know I’m not in love anymore. When we tried to change things in the past to solve our intimacy issues, nothing ended up changing and only got worse. I’m not sure I have it in me to wait.
Um, yeah, that's about as gross as it gets. It seems clear that this relationship would have ended anyway. But you definitely hastened the end by doing something so creepy and dumb.