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[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Consult a lawyer, don’t say anything to your kids thats overboard even though they will eventually know. Your wife might be a cold cheating bitch but you may have to separate that from whether you believe she is a good mother (leaving the kids on Christmas is a bad sign but ¯_(ツ)_/¯). Maybe lawyers know but I wouldn’t want what I say to the kids to impact custody. I have heard courts lean towards the mother. An open and honest conversation with the kids about what will happen will have to occur but you probably need a good deal of time to absorb this blow to your marriage before being able to rationally tell your kids. Maybe your mom or other family can assist with tactfully explaining what may happen when you are divorced with the kids.
Well, for one, if you look up the articles on who is more likely to seek out mental health, that would be women. so the whole “they are diagnosed with anxiety more” is based on very little info given, MRIs are not the most reliable source, because it can only show so much (there are articles about that as well), and also, science daily isn't a reliable source, and I don't find a fashion magazine as a reliable source for info either. But I do appreciate you trying to inform me, because I do recognize I was focused on the “jealousy” aspect and not on the “overthinking”, although I still think the person I am replying to is wrong in their accusations.
Since my original comment I’ve seen your response to one comment.
Why are you jokingly asking about sex w other men? Is there more to this story than what you’ve written? Because with you revealing this it changes things. If you’ve asked about sleeping w other men and he’s said he’d be ok as long as you come home to him then him asking to sleep w someone else changes things altogether.
Since I saw your comment I’ve read your post again and one line sticks out now. You said “we’re really finding out who we are since we’re finally in a position to do so and my husband has discovered that he’s bi”.
So it begs the question how are y’all finding out who you are? And how are you “finally in a position to do so”? I had a long response to just your husband being bi suddenly but since I’ve reread the post I have so many questions now about your relationship and experiences that have lead to the realization he is bi.
I'm not 100% clear on the laws and I don't live! in Canada, but I believe that this would violate your consent…? Since you consented to sex thinking you were protected from pregnancy and he knew full well you weren't. So it is COMPLETELY reasonable to feel violated and terrible. I am absolutely terrified of pregnancy and take birth control daily; if I found out my husband had been tampering with it I don't know what I'd do. It seems like the worst kind of premeditated torture.
And like, I assume he assumes that if you got pregnant you'd keep it and feel obligated to stay with him? So it's a terrifying kind of trapping as well. Imagine having a kid with that kind of monster. Find out if you're pregnant and if you are… get an abortion. Don't have any kind of link with this man or give him any kind of leverage or power over you or your child.
I don't think you can do anything else but break up. Let him know you aren't okay for blaming you for the guilt/shame he is feeling. You were both there and nobody protested against what was happening. This isn't on you and you shouldn't have to feel so insecure about this. Walk away proud. If he wants to blame anyone, he can blame himself.
I would suggest writing a letter saying everything that you want to say to him. Don't send it, just write it. Get it out of your head and on to paper. Then consider if anything can actually be made BETTER by sharing your thoughts, or if it is just a cathartic exercise.
A lot of the time, I find that writing things out clarifies in my own head what the issues actually are, and how I feel about them. After sitting on them for a few days, I also decide that there is nothing to be gained by having the conversation with another person, and that it would only lead to more arguments and disruption. But it clears my head.
Bad sex won’t necessarily ruin a relationship, you can learn, just like any other skill.
Not valuing sex the same way, and having different views on abstinence are problems though. If it’s not important to her and is important to you, that will always chafe.
This person sounds like a lot of work to keep in your life despite her not actually being your friend. Sounds more like you are apologising and seeking a stranger's approval than talking about a reliable confidant you want in your family's life.
If your child could speak to you now, what do you think they would say about it? Why is mum always nice to that woman that's put a stigma over my name?
Why are you accomodating this persons behaviour? Why are you apologising for her shitty behaviour. Why does this person mean more to you than defending you kid.against her shitty behaviour?
Hello /u/Low-Solution-6992,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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She is a potato too by the sounds of it.
Consult a lawyer, don’t say anything to your kids thats overboard even though they will eventually know. Your wife might be a cold cheating bitch but you may have to separate that from whether you believe she is a good mother (leaving the kids on Christmas is a bad sign but ¯_(ツ)_/¯). Maybe lawyers know but I wouldn’t want what I say to the kids to impact custody. I have heard courts lean towards the mother. An open and honest conversation with the kids about what will happen will have to occur but you probably need a good deal of time to absorb this blow to your marriage before being able to rationally tell your kids. Maybe your mom or other family can assist with tactfully explaining what may happen when you are divorced with the kids.
How has he shown you that he is actually willing to change his behavior and “work through the issues and grow together”?
Been on it 21 after having my thyroid removed at 14. Same. Never had a taste.
Well, for one, if you look up the articles on who is more likely to seek out mental health, that would be women. so the whole “they are diagnosed with anxiety more” is based on very little info given, MRIs are not the most reliable source, because it can only show so much (there are articles about that as well), and also, science daily isn't a reliable source, and I don't find a fashion magazine as a reliable source for info either. But I do appreciate you trying to inform me, because I do recognize I was focused on the “jealousy” aspect and not on the “overthinking”, although I still think the person I am replying to is wrong in their accusations.
He is usually around,but he just lost my trust completely. Hard to regain it.
People change,I think.Or maybe I am blind.
Since my original comment I’ve seen your response to one comment.
Why are you jokingly asking about sex w other men? Is there more to this story than what you’ve written? Because with you revealing this it changes things. If you’ve asked about sleeping w other men and he’s said he’d be ok as long as you come home to him then him asking to sleep w someone else changes things altogether.
Since I saw your comment I’ve read your post again and one line sticks out now. You said “we’re really finding out who we are since we’re finally in a position to do so and my husband has discovered that he’s bi”.
So it begs the question how are y’all finding out who you are? And how are you “finally in a position to do so”? I had a long response to just your husband being bi suddenly but since I’ve reread the post I have so many questions now about your relationship and experiences that have lead to the realization he is bi.
Much needed clarification needed I believe
I'm not 100% clear on the laws and I don't live! in Canada, but I believe that this would violate your consent…? Since you consented to sex thinking you were protected from pregnancy and he knew full well you weren't. So it is COMPLETELY reasonable to feel violated and terrible. I am absolutely terrified of pregnancy and take birth control daily; if I found out my husband had been tampering with it I don't know what I'd do. It seems like the worst kind of premeditated torture.
And like, I assume he assumes that if you got pregnant you'd keep it and feel obligated to stay with him? So it's a terrifying kind of trapping as well. Imagine having a kid with that kind of monster. Find out if you're pregnant and if you are… get an abortion. Don't have any kind of link with this man or give him any kind of leverage or power over you or your child.
How hard breakup could be between 13yo girl and 22yo college guy?
I don't think you can do anything else but break up. Let him know you aren't okay for blaming you for the guilt/shame he is feeling. You were both there and nobody protested against what was happening. This isn't on you and you shouldn't have to feel so insecure about this. Walk away proud. If he wants to blame anyone, he can blame himself.
I would suggest writing a letter saying everything that you want to say to him. Don't send it, just write it. Get it out of your head and on to paper. Then consider if anything can actually be made BETTER by sharing your thoughts, or if it is just a cathartic exercise.
A lot of the time, I find that writing things out clarifies in my own head what the issues actually are, and how I feel about them. After sitting on them for a few days, I also decide that there is nothing to be gained by having the conversation with another person, and that it would only lead to more arguments and disruption. But it clears my head.
Bad sex won’t necessarily ruin a relationship, you can learn, just like any other skill.
Not valuing sex the same way, and having different views on abstinence are problems though. If it’s not important to her and is important to you, that will always chafe.
This person sounds like a lot of work to keep in your life despite her not actually being your friend. Sounds more like you are apologising and seeking a stranger's approval than talking about a reliable confidant you want in your family's life.
If your child could speak to you now, what do you think they would say about it? Why is mum always nice to that woman that's put a stigma over my name?
Why are you accomodating this persons behaviour? Why are you apologising for her shitty behaviour. Why does this person mean more to you than defending you kid.against her shitty behaviour?