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Kait, 27 y.o.
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Being in a relationship takes two people… If you dump him, there IS NO saying no. It's just done.
If you don't online together, tell him you're breaking up. Then just block him everywhere.
The only issue is if he could get physical or violent, in which case you should have a person with you if you choose to do it in person, cameras at your house (front door really), change locks, preferably line it up so you are moving as soon as you dump him and tell no mutuals, in fact only trusted people who are in the loop where you're going. Or stay at someone else's place if you predict harassment.
Sounds like your dad doesn't like him. If possible move back home with him, have him with you to exchange stuff, just make sure your dad never speaks for you. All any of your people say is “I'm here for OP, and this is what she wants.” He can't blame other people for your decision.
At the end of the day, it's not a relationship if you don't want it. Just be careful to take measures if you predict harassment, and sounds like you should.
“As shitty as she acted, it was just for that one guy”
As shitty as it was, I just commited the one homicide. I'd reccomend getting out of there lmfao
Well there must be some consequence of her breaking your communicated boundaries and that video obviously lacks any context. If anything remotely like this happens again then what you need to do is obvious.
First red flag of many to come.
you know what ? yeah i mean sleep with other people, have fun, parties,… enjoy the teenage things a bit before i start to get old. and with experiences and meeting, he’s very shy and calm, kind of a stoic
If I were her, I’d probably think it was a break up letter or something equally nerve wracking. That or because it’s Christmas time and I work/go to school plus have a short attention span (as you’ve stated), I would have too much on my mind and be too stressed to pause and read a letter my boyfriend keeps trying to hand me. I’d probably say the same thing.
I get that you stent a lot of time and energy on this proposal, but isn’t it possible that you used a method of proposal that adds extra work and stress on her? Also, have you talked about proposal and she told you she’d like to be proposed to in a similar manner or is this a SUPRISE proposal?
Because I got to say, many women have rejected proposals because the way their partner did it showed they weren’t listening and didn’t respect their wishes and/or blatantly ignored her when she stated exactly how she wanted him to propose or the method in which she would hate to be proposed to.
You say you know her enough to marry her so be sure you propose in a way that you know she’d love and wouldn’t cause stress. Think about things she might have said while watching a movie or so on. Did she watch a flash mob proposal and say she’d run if that happened or if it was made into a big spectacle, when you talked about proposing did she say she wanted you to be creative with it (but you know she has a short attention span so you take that into account), did she say she wanted a low key romantic proposal, etc;?
!RemindMe 2 days
At the minimum, yeah. Previous fwb, now strictly friends. Whether more is shared is up to what you two are comfortable with.
Don’t have a baby you don’t want. Your GF might be happy for five minutes and then she’ll realize you don’t want to be a dad. Shortly after the kid will realize that they weren’t wanted.
Just… don’t.
They were both supposed to enjoy it. He’s the one who deviated from the plan because reasons, but as he said, she’s not guilty. I don’t think he is either, just shit luck.
Congratulations. You're dating the living embodiment of dog shit.
He treats you like this to lower your self esteem because he thinks that means you won't leave him.
I read a well thought out cry for help (or really just affirmation, you know what you need to do) from an intelligent woman who has forgotten her self worth because she has been abused. A lot of us have been there.
Get your shit together and go online life again.
NOPE. This is a red flag, the fact that she told you about it only after running into her therapist and instead of being accountable for her illegal and predatory actions is now gaslighting you (telling you you’re concerned about something else and trying to convince you that you’re attacking her) and acting like the victim. RUN.
Quite.
and im telling you to use your brain. babytrapping isnt common, most people are not psychopaths and even if they are being pregnant comes at such a personal price that very few people will even consider it. even jodie arias didnt babytrap travis.
lmao
Dude, it’s been two months. If you’re already fantasizing about greener grass that’s a pretty bad sign. These are thoughts people usually have years in, when they’ve allowed a relationship to get stale. You should be head over heels for this person at this stage.
It sounds like you’re better as friends.
Don't wait around. Don't put your life on hold for someone who said no and didn't put in the effort to be with you, no matter her reasons.
Remember, she is avoiding a relationship with you. She doesn't want a relationship with you and her telling you she doesn't want to get “attached” is bullshit. She's just letting you down easy.
“If they wanted to, they would”. But she doesn't, so leave her alone and find a girl that wants to be with you
As a woman I fully concur. I can’t believe he actually fell for the I need to find myself so I have to be single line, which is one of the oldest blow off lines in the book (Even used in One million ways to die in the west movie). When a woman is sweet on a man and both are available, they go for it, and wouldn’t be able to stand not to. Also, what’s the blaming all he flirting all on him? If it’s one sided from him, she’s turned off annoyed. If she was into, she would love it. It seems more like she isn’t really into him but doesn’t have the balls to let him down honestly, hence the work on myself excuse.
Does she pay 4 u or wut
I know a few intimacy workers like that and one of them was a close friend for a while. I've found that entanglement is very common. My former friend transitioned from yoga teacher (trained), to massage therapist (untrained), to (tantric) body worker (untrained), to intimacy coach (untrained). Even though there's people that seem to have benefitted from working with her, I see her own processes playing a big role and in some cases, emotionally endangering both her client and herself. For example, clients have graduated to becoming boyfriends. Boundaries get muddy. I think the same might have happened with your husband and his 'therapist'.
Remember that there's a reason someone goes into that field and it's usually because they themselves have something to heal when it comes to sex and intimacy. I feel a lot of them are genuine in their intentions. But their own processes can impair them from keeping a healthy distance, at which point they can insert themselves in someone else's healing process.
I hope your resolution to tell your husband you are not comfortable with their 'professional' relationship goes well, but please be aware that they might have developed a codependent relationship and you could be met with a lot of resistance. This relationship isn't healthy for them or you, but ultimately they have to be willing to give it up. If they don't, I don't think you'd be wrong to label that as infidelity.
By the way: good (trained/science based/ responsible) intimacy coaches do exist. Perhaps you could do research into finding a new coach for you to start counseling together?
Of course it might not be as exciting as psychedelic drugs / visions / tantric massages, so he might have an issue with letting that go. Some people in the spiritual/wellness community get addicted to the 'highs' of these experiences. If you can, remind him that it's supposed to be about the outcome (healing) not the process (enjoying). The therapy isn't supposed to be the drug.
Do you have a sibling that could donate? That is what my lesbian couple friends did because they wanted family genetics.
Man being pointed at with a gun is traumatizing. If the mom won't distance herself from this dirtbag, then you'll need to separate from her mom
Every time I get annoyed with my husband over something dumb I just need to pull out this sun to remind me how good I have it.
He doesn’t need to travel or be around just the boys to cheat, since that’s your concern.
Wow you must have never made a mistake in your life.
No kids? Let him go. He’s got untreated issues that he’s not being open about so he can’t get the help he needs