No. I do not want my partner to be with anyone else. He claims he is okay with me being with others if that makes me happy, but we have talked about how that is “taking the easy way out” of fixing a deeper issue.
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You’re forced to do something you don’t want to do and belittled/insulted when you express your feelings, your suggestions for compromise are shot down with equal disregard. Why are you with him?
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Yes, they teach mega-wealthy people this as it's actually a risk for them, then all the basic sexist bros like to take it upon themselves to behave irrationally
In OPs case it wasn’t an accident though. In the moment he realised he needed to pee, decided not to get up and use the loo and intentionally aimed for her. Also squirting isn’t a whole bladder full of piss which soaks the person and the mattress.
tbh I can't blame him for not wanting to get involved with a co-worker, if things didn't work out then working with them could become a very sticky situation, usually one or the other ends up quitting because of it..You did good though by deciding to move on.
You aren't even divorced. Also, we don't care what kind of pictures you send him or what kind of underwear you are wearing. You need to learn boundaries and restraint.
He's uncomfortable with your relationship status. Should he have had sex with you while he felt uncomfortable, no, but he did. He also told you what he was uncomfortable with. You need to respect his boundaries.
This is why people need to date longer than 6mos before making long term plans. Your BF is starting to let down the wall and is showing you his true self. He will always be like this OP and it would most likely get worse. How would you feel if he treated your kids this way? Or treated you disrespectfully in front of your kids. These are things you need to think about since you are saying you want to spend the rest of your life with him. There is something off with him if he can casually be so cruel and also turn on the waterworks if he’s sad it’s not about him(a previous post you mentioned him getting teary-eyed). Please rethink this whole relationship…..unless this is the type of behavior you want.
Lawyer first. One thing to note is you said they’re going into high school first right? Meaning he hasn’t been in their lives for more than ten years? Might be something to bring up to the lawyer because custody would be a breeze for you if he has abandoned them for that long. Do not engage with anyone besides the lawyer and see what the advice is, then talk to your husband and then your kids.
He's getting angry and pissy with her like her saying yes when he wants sex isn't enough. Why?
Why do you make it seem like the idea of one's partner desiring them is foreign to you? How are you not getting this?
I don't know about you but I don't want my partner to begrudgingly have sex with me or never feel or express interest in me sexually. You're literally arguing that OPs partner should accept and be happy with this and if he isn't ok with it it's rapey.
You do understand that sex is more than a physical act right? Like there's a huge emotional component for a lot of people that's clearly lacking here.
It was part yelling into the void, and part understanding whether it is normal to have feelings in a relationship or if it is cause to take a step back and re-evaluate
Couple's counseling would be a waste of time. There's no getting over him betraying her like that. IF she gets Benji back she would never have trust that he wouldn't do it again and if she doesn't get him back she will never forgive him. His betrayal isn't forgivable IMO.
I went to a lovely wedding where the wedding website said “we have everything we need and don't need gifts but what we would like is books that mean something special to you.” We bought them a book and wrote a lovely inscription and now they have a start for a family library. If you don't want money yet know that some people will REALLY want to give a gift, why not offer a peace treaty compromise. You seem to be so intent on taking a stand that you are hurting people.
Babe it sounds like he threw you a bone because that was more convenient than the awkward “I don’t want to be with you for real, just mess around until something better comes along”. You gotta do what’s right for you, and what’s right for you is not wasting your time with a man who literally doesn’t even want to date you. You deserve more than “not right now”. Don’t settle for the situationship when you can clearly see that people who actually want to be with you are out there
We’ve talked about couples therapy months ago, bought thought we worked through things on her own. I don’t think she believes she needs any sort of individual therapy or medication. I’ve been medicated for about 2 years.
And if you cave to your bf’s lack of concern for your other relationships, he’ll know he can isolate and control you.
No. I do not want my partner to be with anyone else. He claims he is okay with me being with others if that makes me happy, but we have talked about how that is “taking the easy way out” of fixing a deeper issue.
100% agree with you now the curiosity won’t kill you….stay strong I cut my sister out of my life years ago and have never regretted it once
I hate that he deleted his username. And I really hope the reaction he got here shows him he should rethink his reaction…
Another fucking moron who doesn’t know how genetics work? If one of you have green eyes, your baby can have blue eyes.
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Seems like you are incompatible
You’re forced to do something you don’t want to do and belittled/insulted when you express your feelings, your suggestions for compromise are shot down with equal disregard. Why are you with him?
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She recognized them cause the mom sent them to her too ehehehe
Get a paternity test, leave him, file for child support, and live your life
Yes. You were raped.
Yes, they teach mega-wealthy people this as it's actually a risk for them, then all the basic sexist bros like to take it upon themselves to behave irrationally
Thank you so much for your reply. This was exactly what I needed to hear, and made things a lot clearer for me. I can't thank you enough.
Why are we downvoting this girl in her early twenties who is genuinely reaching out for help with vulnerability? Seems a bit counterproductive.
RUN
Thank you for taking the time to reply
Thank you so much for your advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to offer it
Because complaining about the stuff I am mad about is objectively/naturally unattractive to women
So don’t complain about it. Sit down and talk through your problems and solutions like an adult.
Sounds like you’ve got a lot of built up trauma. See a therapist, don’t expect her to pick up your trauma dump
File a restraining order against this paycho
In OPs case it wasn’t an accident though. In the moment he realised he needed to pee, decided not to get up and use the loo and intentionally aimed for her. Also squirting isn’t a whole bladder full of piss which soaks the person and the mattress.
tbh I can't blame him for not wanting to get involved with a co-worker, if things didn't work out then working with them could become a very sticky situation, usually one or the other ends up quitting because of it..You did good though by deciding to move on.
She is abusing you. Leave.
You aren't even divorced. Also, we don't care what kind of pictures you send him or what kind of underwear you are wearing. You need to learn boundaries and restraint.
He's uncomfortable with your relationship status. Should he have had sex with you while he felt uncomfortable, no, but he did. He also told you what he was uncomfortable with. You need to respect his boundaries.
As are deep fakes now
This is why people need to date longer than 6mos before making long term plans. Your BF is starting to let down the wall and is showing you his true self. He will always be like this OP and it would most likely get worse. How would you feel if he treated your kids this way? Or treated you disrespectfully in front of your kids. These are things you need to think about since you are saying you want to spend the rest of your life with him. There is something off with him if he can casually be so cruel and also turn on the waterworks if he’s sad it’s not about him(a previous post you mentioned him getting teary-eyed). Please rethink this whole relationship…..unless this is the type of behavior you want.
Guess I’m not! :p
Lawyer first. One thing to note is you said they’re going into high school first right? Meaning he hasn’t been in their lives for more than ten years? Might be something to bring up to the lawyer because custody would be a breeze for you if he has abandoned them for that long. Do not engage with anyone besides the lawyer and see what the advice is, then talk to your husband and then your kids.
He's getting angry and pissy with her like her saying yes when he wants sex isn't enough. Why?
Why do you make it seem like the idea of one's partner desiring them is foreign to you? How are you not getting this?
I don't know about you but I don't want my partner to begrudgingly have sex with me or never feel or express interest in me sexually. You're literally arguing that OPs partner should accept and be happy with this and if he isn't ok with it it's rapey.
You do understand that sex is more than a physical act right? Like there's a huge emotional component for a lot of people that's clearly lacking here.
It was part yelling into the void, and part understanding whether it is normal to have feelings in a relationship or if it is cause to take a step back and re-evaluate
Couple's counseling would be a waste of time. There's no getting over him betraying her like that. IF she gets Benji back she would never have trust that he wouldn't do it again and if she doesn't get him back she will never forgive him. His betrayal isn't forgivable IMO.
I went to a lovely wedding where the wedding website said “we have everything we need and don't need gifts but what we would like is books that mean something special to you.” We bought them a book and wrote a lovely inscription and now they have a start for a family library. If you don't want money yet know that some people will REALLY want to give a gift, why not offer a peace treaty compromise. You seem to be so intent on taking a stand that you are hurting people.
You do nothing.
I think you mean you thought you had a healthy and mature relationship.
This is not healthy or mature behaviour from your bf. He's a child.
It's up to you where you go from here, but lying is a dealbreaker for me. If he lied about that, what else is he lying about? Potentially everything.
Babe it sounds like he threw you a bone because that was more convenient than the awkward “I don’t want to be with you for real, just mess around until something better comes along”. You gotta do what’s right for you, and what’s right for you is not wasting your time with a man who literally doesn’t even want to date you. You deserve more than “not right now”. Don’t settle for the situationship when you can clearly see that people who actually want to be with you are out there
We’ve talked about couples therapy months ago, bought thought we worked through things on her own. I don’t think she believes she needs any sort of individual therapy or medication. I’ve been medicated for about 2 years.