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Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
I’m definitely trying! His family still messages me, his best friend still talks to me, because after all, I spent the last 5 years of holidays, birthdays, vacations etc. with them. I’m trying to undo all of the ties, the connections. It’s painful and challenging but I am trying :/
You responded the one time and that is more than enough. Now it's time to take even more intense action and set all your social media to private, so only your friends see posts. Reject any new friend requests you do not know. Reject and block any new phone numbers you do not know. You do not need to leave your home. Get a wireless front door camera and don't open your door if she shows up (although, how she would find your address is questionable). If she doesn't give up, call the cops.
This will take some time, but you have your partner supporting you. It will be OK.
Yes exactly. I spoke to some kind of online counselor and explained my issue. The person said I’m trying to protect myself in order for it to never happen again to me.
I know it’s cliche for an old experience dater to say to a young man… but don’t overthink it. If you like her and want to know how she feels about you, you can ask her out in a way that gives her an out and doesn’t embarrass you for asking. “If you want to catch up in person, I’d be happy to buy you a coffee or something if you’re interested. No pressure either way :-)” and if she agrees, follow up with a direct question like “are you free x day at x time?” And if she deflects twice, you can assume she’s not interested and gracefully exit the conversation.
But if you do meet up and it goes well, and you’re still feeling a vibe and want to, ask her directly for a date as a follow up and make sure it is worded in a way that she feels safe to decide to say no.
If I were the young woman, this is what I would respond well to if I liked the man. Individual response may vary.
I’m sure it’s difficult being a young man and navigating the social norms of dating. It’s nude to put yourself out there, but it can be normalized with practice. Wishing the best for you!
He is a legal tenant, even though he doesn't pay rent. He is protected by law. OP, please look at the tenant laws in your state, and give him the required notice, in writing, for him to move out. Have him sign it, and keep a copy.
When it is time for him to be out, if he refuses to leave, then you can contact law enforcement. If at any point during his notice period, he becomes violent, loud, anything that is abusive, call the police. If you can get a restraining order against him, he will have to vacate your home immediately.
Hey friend. You want it to work? Great but you’re gonna have to address your boyfriends deep insecurity of losing you to another man. Likely he will need therapy or you will continue to lose respect for this man. His prob is that he doesn’t value himself, it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with how he perceives himself to not be as much of a catch as some hypothetical mystery man he likely wishes he was. Sorry but nothing anybody says to you is going to change who he is, that’s 110% his job, you can be patient but you can’t love him more than he loves himself. Not an easy one
You need to come clean with your girlfriend and have a talk with your parents. It's not right for your parents to find out in that way because they could have a very messed up reaction in front of everyone. If you take this relationship seriously, then you need to act like it.
Tell your bf ypu have strong feeling she has feelings for him. Tell him that you won't crticise him if he goes to this concert with her, but you can't help, but feel uncomfortable about it.
Tell him also, that while you understand they work together you want him to properly shut down any romantic attempts she make, as well as inform you about them.
It only seems natural to me. A professionnal chef doesn't usually cook a big meal at home after work, I don't like to think a lot after work as I already do a lot AT work and take care of young children. I like reading mystery novels, and fantasy, and watching light tv shows.
Anyway, to me if it was so important to approve of your reading, why didn't he ask more about it / yourself in the last 6 mo? He does not seem interested in YOU, more in the idea he made OF you.
Yea that was a mistake. This should never have actually happened. I’m going to stop this. I was uncomfortable from the get go. I let my emotions get the best of me. She is leaving at the end of April so, I should just leave it at that. We can both have peace this way.
You don't know what his friends had to go through to help him after your breakup. It may have been amicable on the surface but maybe there are things you do not know.
In any case, you should let this one go. Let him have the sendoff with his friends, he will have an intimate one with you anyway and since you will join him, he's probably only accommodating his friends. Having a party is all about everyone being happy and celebrating and maybe he feels it can't be that if you are there.
It's his going-away, let him enjoy, be the great partner that you are and let him have his way.
? My ex told me the same & my reason was exactly what you said! If I didn’t do something, then nothing was going to get done. So many men want to be leaders without the slightest idea how.
For your question: how can you support the ask if he can’t put in the effort?
You don’t. Unless you want to compromise your standard of living or what makes you feel safe and stable, you do nothing or you leave him. You can’t teach him to be a leader because he’s a misogynist and doesn’t want to hear it from you. You just keep handling life and either he picks up on it and figures it out, or you get tired of it and leave.
Probably a good idea to slow down on the wedding planning. Get couples counseling. Sort things out at home. Get individual therapy.
Don’t do anything about Clark until you first figure out how you feel about your current engagement- otherwise you’ll also always question this life choice.
post is asking about advice with a female coworker (in Filipino). Man (27M), and his female coworker (26F) are getting close. but OP has a fiancé and a child.
he keeps having sentiments like “let’s go have lunch,” or “let’s drop by my brothers store and have something to eat!”. their coworkers notice how close they are getting but they don’t want to admit it. sometimes they share little texts here and there about what they’re up to. she invited him over to her house for her mom’s birthday after he had brought her to the store to buy the cake. they are there with her church and family.
sometimes he thinks it’s too much and then asks himself if it’s too much because she has a boyfriend and he doesn’t say anything.
I don’t agree with giving him a heads up, he could work out all sorts of excuses and ways to spin it without actually admitting to everything with all the extra time he has to get his story in line. Just tell her with some screenshots as evidence and let her decide how to handle her husband.
Update? I gotta know how you did it. Glad you left him, he didn't deserve you.
To him, you only serve a purpose. He doesn't have to have emotional relationships with tools.
Don't keep dating this guy. He's not worth it.
Hello /u/Youkickrocks,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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Hello /u/ThrowRA576213461,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
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Please resubmit with a corrected title.
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I’m definitely trying! His family still messages me, his best friend still talks to me, because after all, I spent the last 5 years of holidays, birthdays, vacations etc. with them. I’m trying to undo all of the ties, the connections. It’s painful and challenging but I am trying :/
Closure is overated.
Consider therapy to help you process and understand and heal from all this, it can be very helpful.
Best to you.
You responded the one time and that is more than enough. Now it's time to take even more intense action and set all your social media to private, so only your friends see posts. Reject any new friend requests you do not know. Reject and block any new phone numbers you do not know. You do not need to leave your home. Get a wireless front door camera and don't open your door if she shows up (although, how she would find your address is questionable). If she doesn't give up, call the cops.
This will take some time, but you have your partner supporting you. It will be OK.
Bless you angel ? thank you ❤️
I'm sorry.. but that doesn't sound like redeeming qualities. Most of that is basic human decency. You're setting the bar really low.
Yes exactly. I spoke to some kind of online counselor and explained my issue. The person said I’m trying to protect myself in order for it to never happen again to me.
I know it’s cliche for an old experience dater to say to a young man… but don’t overthink it. If you like her and want to know how she feels about you, you can ask her out in a way that gives her an out and doesn’t embarrass you for asking. “If you want to catch up in person, I’d be happy to buy you a coffee or something if you’re interested. No pressure either way :-)” and if she agrees, follow up with a direct question like “are you free x day at x time?” And if she deflects twice, you can assume she’s not interested and gracefully exit the conversation.
But if you do meet up and it goes well, and you’re still feeling a vibe and want to, ask her directly for a date as a follow up and make sure it is worded in a way that she feels safe to decide to say no.
If I were the young woman, this is what I would respond well to if I liked the man. Individual response may vary.
I’m sure it’s difficult being a young man and navigating the social norms of dating. It’s nude to put yourself out there, but it can be normalized with practice. Wishing the best for you!
Don't do this, OP. It's illegal.
He is a legal tenant, even though he doesn't pay rent. He is protected by law. OP, please look at the tenant laws in your state, and give him the required notice, in writing, for him to move out. Have him sign it, and keep a copy.
When it is time for him to be out, if he refuses to leave, then you can contact law enforcement. If at any point during his notice period, he becomes violent, loud, anything that is abusive, call the police. If you can get a restraining order against him, he will have to vacate your home immediately.
Hey friend. You want it to work? Great but you’re gonna have to address your boyfriends deep insecurity of losing you to another man. Likely he will need therapy or you will continue to lose respect for this man. His prob is that he doesn’t value himself, it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with how he perceives himself to not be as much of a catch as some hypothetical mystery man he likely wishes he was. Sorry but nothing anybody says to you is going to change who he is, that’s 110% his job, you can be patient but you can’t love him more than he loves himself. Not an easy one
You need to come clean with your girlfriend and have a talk with your parents. It's not right for your parents to find out in that way because they could have a very messed up reaction in front of everyone. If you take this relationship seriously, then you need to act like it.
Tell your bf ypu have strong feeling she has feelings for him. Tell him that you won't crticise him if he goes to this concert with her, but you can't help, but feel uncomfortable about it.
Tell him also, that while you understand they work together you want him to properly shut down any romantic attempts she make, as well as inform you about them.
If you need more details as to why shit happened the way it did, you can just ask instead of assuming.
It only seems natural to me. A professionnal chef doesn't usually cook a big meal at home after work, I don't like to think a lot after work as I already do a lot AT work and take care of young children. I like reading mystery novels, and fantasy, and watching light tv shows.
Anyway, to me if it was so important to approve of your reading, why didn't he ask more about it / yourself in the last 6 mo? He does not seem interested in YOU, more in the idea he made OF you.
Go rock the world, girl.
Yea that was a mistake. This should never have actually happened. I’m going to stop this. I was uncomfortable from the get go. I let my emotions get the best of me. She is leaving at the end of April so, I should just leave it at that. We can both have peace this way.
You don't know what his friends had to go through to help him after your breakup. It may have been amicable on the surface but maybe there are things you do not know.
In any case, you should let this one go. Let him have the sendoff with his friends, he will have an intimate one with you anyway and since you will join him, he's probably only accommodating his friends. Having a party is all about everyone being happy and celebrating and maybe he feels it can't be that if you are there.
It's his going-away, let him enjoy, be the great partner that you are and let him have his way.
? My ex told me the same & my reason was exactly what you said! If I didn’t do something, then nothing was going to get done. So many men want to be leaders without the slightest idea how.
For your question: how can you support the ask if he can’t put in the effort?
You don’t. Unless you want to compromise your standard of living or what makes you feel safe and stable, you do nothing or you leave him. You can’t teach him to be a leader because he’s a misogynist and doesn’t want to hear it from you. You just keep handling life and either he picks up on it and figures it out, or you get tired of it and leave.
I'm so glad he's home!!
Probably a good idea to slow down on the wedding planning. Get couples counseling. Sort things out at home. Get individual therapy.
Don’t do anything about Clark until you first figure out how you feel about your current engagement- otherwise you’ll also always question this life choice.
post is asking about advice with a female coworker (in Filipino). Man (27M), and his female coworker (26F) are getting close. but OP has a fiancé and a child.
he keeps having sentiments like “let’s go have lunch,” or “let’s drop by my brothers store and have something to eat!”. their coworkers notice how close they are getting but they don’t want to admit it. sometimes they share little texts here and there about what they’re up to. she invited him over to her house for her mom’s birthday after he had brought her to the store to buy the cake. they are there with her church and family.
sometimes he thinks it’s too much and then asks himself if it’s too much because she has a boyfriend and he doesn’t say anything.
rough translation
It was before you were official so let it go and don’t sabotage a successful 2 yr relationship.
Run
I don’t agree with giving him a heads up, he could work out all sorts of excuses and ways to spin it without actually admitting to everything with all the extra time he has to get his story in line. Just tell her with some screenshots as evidence and let her decide how to handle her husband.