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Why are you dating someone 15 years younger? She was a teenager up until a year ago. Clearly she has different priorities to you.
26 is so young, especially for a guy. Also no offense to the old friends, but them all being married tot he girls from school isn’t saying much imo. It means they either never ventured out, or they tried in the real world with no success so they married the high school sweethearts. Again, nothing wrong with that but I don’t personally see that as them winning in life.
You just need to stop comparing yourself to others so much. And potentially look I to why you are so picky. Your post comes off a little like you have some high or even unrealistic standards of what a good life and a good partner are.
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the issue is, he does self harm. I know he will harm himself if I leave, and It absolutely destroys me because it's the last thing I would ever want for him
I never opened up about these feelings to him ever before. It just slipped out this one time because I was in shock and everything was collapsing on me.
Yeah, I'm kinda kicking myself for not figuring out earlier that his traditional was actually him wanting a bang maid. He said his wife would not pay bills. Should have known that equalled she won't have a job or money to do so. Some women enjoy it, but a lot of women end up financially abused, treated like servants, and just have the life sucked out of them. Gotta have the right man to be in that lifestyle, and chauvinism doesn't exactly promise a happy home life for the wife.
You’ve got the ick, and for good reason. Your guts right on this one. There isn’t really a ‘good’ reason to seek out younger women to date. I’d be outta there.
It's understandable that you are scared but after two years of no explanation and nothing even the calmes person will reach their limit. She can't know that what happened to you was actually so horrible that it takes you this long to trust someone, all she knows is that's she's eben understanding for two years and you still act like you don't trust her. Once again, after what you've gone through that's understandable but she doesn't know that.
Yeah it healed this thing in his underware
Do not do that. Contacting her through a third party is still frightening and inappropriate and threatening. The message is “I can manipulate other people to get to you.”
I already know the result. Its an impossible relationship. I just dont know if I should hold it all in and continue to see her or what. I have been in alot of casual relationships in the past. Idk how this happened
No judging is fine. I meant judging someone to be a rapist or a serial killer is hot and it really scares me
he’s texting other people. that is child behavior. Adults don’t act that way. His damn near 40. He knows better
he is gaslighting you, girl! That’s what psychopaths do
He’s dating someone 15 years younger than him. Psychopath behavior.
She has been with quite a few guys. Why get back together with leftover garbage. She isn’t girl you knew anymore.
Sounds like he needs to stop watching porn and masturbating.
serious question, why is degrading someone sexually different than degrading them in any other context? If he'd berated her in the street, would you say it's not an insult?
Y
So many questions. Why can’t you be happy for them? Why are you disgusted that two single people found each other at your wedding? Lastly, what would you have done if they didn’t “approve” of your relationship?
I’m still trying to get all the info out of her but it’s difficult because she just breaks down. As far as I know she didn’t do while watching our daughter and I’m keep a really close eye on her for now, I just can’t believe anything she says so I have to continually check her phone which makes me feel awful.
Either this story is fake or the person sending you these notes has seen too many telenovelas. If they were serious, they would have attached the evidence to the first note, not taken however long to manufacture evidence to get you to break up with your gf for whatever reason photoshop is easy and if it wasn’t provided with the first note, it makes me think they realized they needed more umph to get you to do their bidding.
He is abusive as fuck. He did you a massive favor by breaking up with you because now some other girl is going to have to deal with his over bearing- ridiculously controlling and manipulative personality and you get to go on and find a healthy relationship. I was with a guy like this for years and it wasn’t until breaking up with him and getting with my current boyfriend that I realize how bad it really was. The fact that you said you’re filled with such great remorse over this and stuff he’s already gaslit you. You need to keep your head high and keep moving forward without him before he destroys your self-esteem and completely brainwashes you.
For the people acting like of somthing is paid or a job it’s morally ok that is an insane outlook like so many legal jobs are morally reprehensible and this is disgusting and awful behavior
How the fuck are people reading this and thinking that this string of events happened in real life?
It’s been 8 months and she’s ready to drop everything just so she has enough time to spend your money. She didn’t even ask if you want to spend, just told you what you should buy her. It’s insane! I wouldn’t go chasing after her.
And fwiw, I love that you asked her what she brings to the table. It may have been a wake up call.
He needs to understand that the scar tissue from repeatedly tearing it would have a bigger chance of him losing sensation!
Please don’t show her that it’s ok to spit in your face by staying in a relationship with her. The abuse will escalate & your boundaries expecting mutual respect will show themselves to be very easily broken.
She would probably respond with ?
Check out the subs r/JUSTNOMIL and r/raisedbynarcissists – your poor wife will feel right at home there. And for the moment, your wife should just block her on her phone, so she doesn't have to deal with the nastiness for the time being. An about to burst pregnant woman doesn't need anything more that induces anxiety – having to give birth is bad enough already.
I feel like a single parent
Then kick him to the curb and be one. Currently, you're a single parent of 4 children, at least one can do for himself. Who needs deadweight in their relationship?
This is exactly how my abusive relationship started. Give it a few months and he'll be pushing you into walls
Nobody has said this, just from reading this. To me it sounds like he hooked up with someone else who likes the way he plays with them, and he wants to do that to you and that isn’t your thing. You two sound incompatible in the bedroom. While you may be sad and upset. This sounds like it’s gonna be a deal breaker. Maybe this is bad advice, but I don’t think you should continue to peruse this guy. He is just going to continue to be cold, and you’re gonna wonder what you did wrong. You did nothing wrong. You’re just not right for each other sexually.
It’s hot. I’ve tried telling her to get help then I’m the “manipulative” one…
Well of course it's possible. But if something about the situation is setting off alarm bells in your gut I don't think you should ignore that. I think the bigger concern is that he's not honestly addressing the issue with his friend. Personally, I wouldn't be able to respect someone who couldn't have a straightforward conversation to address a big issue like his living situation.
personally would find this disrespectful and embarrassing as well. It’s okay to have these feelings, everyone is different. Communicate your feelings & see how his reaction is. If he continues to behave in a way that disrespects you, I’d call it quits. There are plenty of men that will not do this.
Please don't speak for all women on this. It's very presumptuous and it's just not true. I personally don't mind at all and find it a bit of a turn on. I also still masterbate even when having a fulfilling sex life.
Really sorry, OP. It hurts and it’s going to hurt. That’s part of the grief. I get that right now it feels worse bc it came out of nowhere for you. Let yourself cry and grieve for a short period of time, but then it’s one foot in front of the other moving forward. You can’t let yourself get stuck bc while he didn’t do anything wrong in making his choice, you need to remember you want to be w someone who will choose you no matter what. Do not do the “pick me” dance; it will make you feel worse. While you haven’t been looking at others and wondering what it would be like to be with them, HE clearly has so he’s not as perfect and loyal as you once thought. He did the right thing breaking up. My guess is with time and distance, you’ll realize other ways the relationship wasn’t quite as perfect as it is in your head now.
As others have suggested, for now, I would block him everywhere, move everything—messages, pictures, etc—from him to a different folder and pack away physical reminders so you don’t easily see them (there is actually science behind “out of site/out of mind”), make a list of things you want to do, things to try, then go out and do it. Fill your life with meaningful things (working out, trips, therapy if you need it, cooking classes, volunteering etc. Stay away from alcohol and other destructive behaviors.) Even if it’s a case of fake it until you make it, I promise one day, you won’t be faking it. You will come to a place of peace and happiness again. And there will be someone better out there for you when you’ve healed from this. You’ll get through this, OP.
I don’t get why 2 people old enough to post in r/teenagers feel like they have to get married. She’s studying something extremely demanding. You don’t need to get engaged. And if you keep pushing it you may no longer have a relationship, let alone an engagement
Would the husband have been a SAHP for years? Would he be adjusting to these new roles and just trying to keep his head above water? Because if so, I think most here would be inclined to sympathize with the husband.
There absolutely is such thing as wasting your time in a relationship. Maybe not when you’re 20, but when you’re 30? You probably know what you want in life, and unless it’s just “having good times” you should make those goals clear very early on.
If you have things on your mind, talk to him. Keep it open and you'll both be happy. If he knows you caught him looking at other girls. Ask him what he gets from it and if you can do anything for him.
Yeah.. can't really blame that on just wanting to be a good friend.
U can go bt u dont need to get shit faced.