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I agree with everyone who says that he explained his reason for not wanting the promotion and that it's also a very understandable reason, but does no one else here think that there is a huge relationship issue here?
Look at this:
Even when he was still excited about the project when it started, he refused to tell his wife what his design even was about.
He then stopped talking about the contest and got upset when his wife asked about it.
He refuses to say why he won't take at least the bonus.
Even the question about “how his days was” is setting him off.
The only thing this man has explained is why he doesn't want to take the promotion. But beyond that, there is zero communication with his wife.
If the contest caused him to be disillusioned with his workplace or job or if he had issues with his teammates, that's super-understandable. But what I don't get is why he is treating OP like that. I find it natural that was asking about the contest – something her partner was excited about – when he stopped mentioning it; it's part of connecting with your spouse to ask about his projects and interests, after all. But he didn't tell her anything – no “I'm not having fun anymore”, no “I found out so much bad crap about my company”, no “Sorry, I don't want to talk about it anymore because I hate my teammates and would rather not drag my frustrations into my free time.” Zero communication, just him apparently getting upset at his wife for asking an understandable question.
Then there is him not even talking about what he's doing when he was still super-excited about the whole thing. He shut his own wife out. I wonder if he was mistrusting her, given how a mutual friend was on the opposing team and thought she would give him information or something? I don't see any other, possible reasons.
And then he gets upset at her even when she asks how his day was. Yeah, it seems his days are crappy because his work seems to not be all that awesome to him anymore, but still, no communication with his wife. She's at a loss and I understand why. It's super-normal to ask your spouse how their day was. Even if you don't understand anything about your partner's job, I think it's normal – and healthy – to share your experiences and woes and successes from work with your partner.
Isn't that what a relationship is about? Being a team? Supporting each other? But the husband here is completely shutting OP out. And I think this is a very huge issue.
Naaaaahh….
nope, no super tight schedule. just trying to control my time i suppose lmao
Then you either choose to work and save the relationship or you leave.
I am willing to bet you had more sex in your 7 year long relationship than she did with dating different men.
I’ve dated guys that do this. I used to stay at my ex’s when the kids were small. Nothing ever happened and I slept in my kid’s room.
Thank you for the advice, I will try to break things off with her soon.
Have you asked him these things? Is it possible that he is feeling overwhelmed about constantly having to go do things? Is there a chance he might like to just chill with you?
Whatever it is you need to talk to him about it. He's the only one that can tell you what would make him more comfortable.
Take this advice from someone who is older and has been there: It’s time to take a giant step back and think about all this for more than a few minutes. You need to consider if this is someone that you would want your future kids looking up to, and learning from. He sounds incredibly selfish.
There’s a difference in him wanting to buy the two of you a house and be a provider, and him buying a house that he likes for himself and you maybe one day getting to online in it if he feels like it (which is what this sounds like).
You both need to have a serious adult conversation about this, because you need to protect yourself, and know what you’re getting yourself in to. Finances are one of the top things that leads to separation, better to talk about it now, before you make any life decisions. Sort out who will pay what, and insist you pay something. The last thing you need is to get married and have kids, and him use the money/“I pay for everything around here” as something to dangle over your head as emotional/financial abuse. I know it scary, but if you think you could lose him over something as simple as having an adult conversation about an adult topic, it would be worth it to save yourself potential future trouble/abuse. One of the biggest abuses is financial abuse.
On that note, always have a backup plan. I don’t care if you think he is the best thing since sliced bread. Save your money for a rainy day, and NEVER assume that ANY man (or any person for that matter) has YOUR best intentions in mind. Never become fully dependent on someone because it makes it so much harder if you need out.
Fuck your brothers girl and assert dominance in both relationship… joking…. stand up for the love of ypur life or you will regret till u die
Sounds like he doesn't see you guys staying together
We've never discussed parameters ourselves, and I think we kind of took the “don't ask, don't tell” approach.
I know she's used it historically, even talked about our site preferences. Besides that, neither of us seemed to care about it enough to establish a boundary.
Overall our reletionship and sex life is phenomenal. There was no issues to correct, which is why I think we don't pay attention to it. I think it would be a nude experience to enjoy it together, but w/e, that's a fantasy.
To add another layer, we respect the others privacy and want the other to exist freely. Never gone through phones, never laid boundaries out, I trust her whole heartily because she has always demonstrated good behavior. We also have never talked about body count, sexual history etc. We're both really easy going people and love the others company.
I could understand how some couples would consider porn a deal breaker.
It depends on the couple and how secure you feel tbh. If no porn creates a more secure feeling for you, so be it. That's your tool to achieve it.
You’re welcome. Think about this the next time you act like you know someone from literally one action lol.
> So, Reddit, how do I tell her I am not coming back after what she did to > me? I'm not even sure if I should do that. I don't know what to say or > do. Any help and advice is welcome.
I notice I didn't even answer your question: My opinion. Have as little contact as possible. She shouldn't even know that you are staying with your roommate over Christmas.
If you want to say anything, just say you need time by yourself and want no contact. Do not begin any argumentation, reasoning, anything like that.
I would also suggest not telling them you are gay like other people propose.
It's understandable that you would feel frustrated and disappointed that your partner got you a gift that is not something you want or will use. It's important to communicate your feelings and thoughts to your partner in a constructive and respectful way.
One way to approach this situation is to use the “shit sandwich” method, which involves sandwiching a negative message between two positive statements. For example, you could say something like: “I really appreciate the thought and effort you put into getting me a gift for Christmas. I know you have ADD and it can be difficult to remember everything, but I wanted to let you know that the kitchen appliance you got me is not something I really want or will use. I know you have a lot of interest in cooking and I understand that you might be excited about it, but for me, it's not something I'm interested in. I'm grateful for your thoughtfulness and I hope we can find a way to make this work. Maybe we can consider it a gift for the household instead, or perhaps I can choose something else on Amazon that I would like more.”
By expressing your feelings in this way, you are acknowledging your partner's efforts and being honest about your feelings without being confrontational or critical. It also gives you the opportunity to offer a solution or compromise, which can help to de-escalate the situation and find a way forward.
I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck in addressing this issue with your partner.
Lol. You are a single dad dating a 23 year old model and you aren't sure that she isn't dating you because you are rich? This has to be fake, right?
Who has the kind of time to be have sex 3-5 times a day and can still manage to keep a job that affords him a 23 year old model? What kind of crazy person moves a new person into their home in a month when there are kids involved?
Yes, she's using you for money, but you are also using her for sex and chores. If you can't afford her or sustain this crazy level of spending, break up with her, and soon before she gets pregnant and you have to pay child support for the next 18 years.
That's lovely, I'm so happy for you.
Your former in-laws are heroes.
Thank you for this reply, you hit the nail on the head and we absolutely do have this dynamic sometimes. We are aware of it and have discussed it at length, and obviously neither of us wants it to be this way, but we haven’t figured out how to break the cycle. We believe he has undiagnosed adhd (working on it) and he does very often forget things or get scattered, and although I try to let him figure it out himself, sometimes it’s better for both of us if I just help (like getting him out the door on time in the morning). Yes I realize this sounds very much like helicopter parenting as I write it and I hate that!
I’ll be the first to admit I hold myself to pretty high standards that are nude for even me to reach sometimes. I try not to hold him to the same standards but I know he feels pressure sometimes. I often will ask him for critique/criticism because I want that chance to grow- he doesn’t usually have much to give me, even though I definitely have plenty of room for improvement. I really do try to monitor myself when it comes to criticizing him because I know how he will react- even if it isn’t criticism at all, if my comment has any connection to a choice he’s made and I don’t sound 100% thrilled about it, there is the chance it’ll upset him. It’s really nude! This coffee thing had a really clear moment that I was present for where he switched from happy to upset, but sometimes he’s just generally moody/grumpy as soon as he walks in, and has no reason why when I ask- and just me asking if he’s upset is enough to upset him further sometimes. But if I don’t ask, I get to hang out with a grump all evening! If I do ask, he’s upset until we talk through it, and then he’s fine after. Sometimes we can pinpoint the reason he was upset and sometimes not. I am honestly getting frustrated just writing it out. It’s making me think demanding therapy is really the only option if I don’t want to end up resentful.
As someone who got emotionally hurt (destroyed would be a better term) a couple times when I was young, I kept everyone at arms length and would torpedo the relationship or friendship to keep from getting close.
There were two people who “stuck around” and I let get close, which I'm greatful for, as I've been married to the second one nearly 30 years.
Don't read too much into what he said; despite getting a lot of attention growing up, sounds like he's got a issues with vulnerability at some level, and in you he sees security.
Yeah, maybe. But either way you need to commit to becoming the best version of yourself in the interim. Focus on being really busy having a fabulous life ( not with her). Work on increasing your people skills, your self-value, and your appeal. But don’t let her close enough to see the mechanisms of how you do that or share that journey with you. That part can all be a mystery to her. You do your own thing. But if she observes you all shined up from afar, that may intrigue her. Tread cautiously my friend. You cannot be treating her like a confidante anymore or revealing your neediness. As a woman who has been in this situation, the power imbalance here would be a turn off, so you need to cultivate a healthy but kind detachment. Normally men being detached is a turn off, but in THIS case, it’s necessary. She has to not see you as a sure thing, that she can just pick up again on a whim. And IF she does renew her interest in you, she needs to treat you and vice versa like a fresh prospect, where she puts lots of effort in to win you back and rebuild trust ( & you do too), to make this work. So don’t be tempted to jump right back into things again. Familiarity has bred contempt, so if you both don’t value it and make it fresh , as soon as she is reminded of that, she’ll want to bail again.
If you loved her, you'd respect her and her feelings.
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It is his money, and his choice to spend it however he chooses. This is not your decision.
Bit of a jump here but she's definitely not considering the other woman's or her husbands feelings
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There's the old joke that the fastest way to lose >100lbs is to dump the boyfriend.
But in all seriousness, if he was actually worried about your health, he'd prioritize your mental health and understand some weight gain with the medication can be expected. And even the weight you've gained is perfectly reasonable and you're still in a healthy spot.
Honestly, if he doesn't apologize and change his ways, he's not worth it.
And please don't cut cold turkey with your medications like others have said.
How did you find out if he went no contact ?
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What if I'm not 100% set on what I want?
I'm like 51% up for relationship and 49% questioning myself daily
I didn’t know there was a rule. I thought it was up to him. I only met her two weeks ago, it’s not like I met her when we first went out. I think it’s possible she’s picked up the word somewhere else though.
Two minutes? WTH? He’s more than selfish. Don’t have sex with him until there is lots of foreplay. Period.
well you dated an 18 year old at 23 and then you dumped her to hook up with women in a new city, had her over, slept with her, and only after sleeping with her let her know you’ve been sleeping around with multiple women.
i suggest a lot of therapy for you, and date someone your own age.
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Strange, you show you understand how things are, but are still under impression there is some way to change it without confilict or sacrifice. You can't have both be working for your father like you are and remain with your gf. It is clearly draining on you and you will break eventually. Your father clearly will not change his mindset either, from your description. This comes back to you making a choice what needs to go, because something has to. There is no way around it.
I am angry, because I despise the mindset of making best time of your children's life as difficult and dull as it will be for the rest of their life.
She’s lying, you made the right choice by cutting them off.
If you weren’t exclusive wouldn’t you also be her fwb?
I’m kinda confused. You weren’t exclusive, is that when she had the fwb?
I would read “having dates and talking” as “we were in a non-exclusive casual relationship and seeing other people”.
So where’s the surprise that she got flowers?
I am not sure why you are stuck on the midnight part. Why does that matter so very very much to you?
If the children are asleep, does it make a very big difference to get home at 11:30pm or 12:30am?
Yeah I think you’re right. My mom knows SIL wouldn’t go to the show, mainly because it’s not appealing and she isn’t allowed to go. SIL has a rule for my brother that he can’t go to strip clubs, thus he has a similar rule for her. I think even though my mom knows SIL wouldn’t go to the show, it’d still be a “major heartbreak” to not invite her. But yeah it seems either friends and no fam, or do both but gotta invite SIL.
We online together and he’s in school, in all those years he’s hardly done any romantic gestures
And
he pays the bills and whatever I make is extra,
He covers all the bills and provides for you yet
for my mom to tell me, “I didn’t raise just anyone, it sucks to see that my daughter doesn’t get the love she deserves.
That kid will still end up knowing that you don't like them. If you can't 100% accept a child, then you should have left the relationship. I have step parents on both sides so I can speak from first hand experience. And I am about to be a stepmom to my fiance's kids. We both said that anyone that can't love our kids as their own have no place in our lives. I really wish your boyfriend would have taken that same stance. Being civil towards a child is not enough.
You kicked cancer's ass and instead of him being happy and celebrating with you, he's flirting with other women. I would be so pissed and hurt that the man I love could do that too me after the hell I had been through.
You know how precious life is and how everything can change in an instant. I wouldn't waste it with someone who betrayed me like that. Take care of yourself. Go stay with family or friends and decide what you want to do.
Bingo!
I'd be annoyed too. You're reacting as though she shot heroin. But if it's something you're not ok with, you can always break off the relationship.
So she gets 3 nights a week for about 3 hours each session to do whatever she likes? And you spend 1 night a week together?
Who cares what she thinks or feels. Stay with the new woman, she doesn't like it. Tell her to leave.
You are incompatible and it’s better you find out now. She needs to be with someone from her own culture if this is the life she wants. You want an equal partner and a modern relationship and there are plenty of women who also want that. So don’t mourn this loss and realize it was for the best. But don’t date someone from a different background because ingrained traditions can’t be overcome.
INFO: Now when he says he lost a lot of people, does he mean a lot of people around him passed away suddenly and he couldn't handle that or that people couldn't handle him being a shitty person so they ghosted him….
Nut and then decide if you want to send this cuz it’s weird imo
Are you daft?
I would have been in the same accident but the likelihood of injury or death would have been significantly lower; I would have had a seatbelt and an airbag.
Another suggestion is for you to tell your (former ?) friend what her husband messaged you and that you will respond to him in two days. Then, do so as succinctly and truthfully as possible to a few questions from him before ending the conversation.
If this is about her “image”: Ask her, very specifically, why she wants to be seen with her ex, but not you.
Why does every cheating story contain that shit about “the love of my life”?
Eeehhhmm…no?
You don't cheat on “the love of your life”.
You're a cheater and a liar who clearly wants to just use his girlfriend for own convenience.
You need to talk to her about this.
I wouldn't waste anymore time with him if I were you. There's really no future there and he has a history of talking to other girls. There's probably more that you don't know about. You deserve better.
to make her feel better
asking your girlfriend “how are you feeling” and “hey, I need to talk to you about how this is affecting me” is not “trying to make her feel better” its just communicating about her partner.
He wouldn’t know,
Because he literally has not asked. literally all of his problems would be solved and all of his questions would be answered with a free, simple, easy text of “hey, how are you feeling”
wild
I appreciate your response, I see the obvious incompatibility the more I think about this.
Two years ago she was 16 and he was 22. That’s messed up. How old were you when you got together with him?
I don’t know. It might be a language barrier, but the way I see it, not having to try so nude to please your new partner is not the same as saying you don’t have to try so nude to avoid violent outbursts/retaliation/putting yourself as risk.
And specially, I don’t think anyone would describe that as boring (maybe as relief. But bore? Meh).
I would agree with you if he had stopped before that phrase. He had already described the ex as passionate and so on, which isn’t good but I do understand why toxic people might come off as that.
But the boring part + not having to try to please OP really rubs me in the wrong way.
I don’t know. It might be a language barrier, but the way I see it, not having to try so nude to please your new partner is not the same as saying you don’t have to try so nude to avoid violent outbursts/retaliation/putting yourself as risk.
And specially, I don’t think anyone would describe that as boring (maybe as relief. But bore? Meh).
I would agree with you if he had stopped before that phrase. He had already described the ex as passionate and so on, which isn’t good but I do understand why toxic people might come off as that.
But the boring part + not having to try to please OP really rubs me in the wrong way.
No penetrative sex ever in a stalemate situation isn't much of a compromise. I actually agree with the person who said they are sexually incompatible.
I'm concerned about the rigid lack of trying to find ways to compromise when his needs are being met and he knows hers aren't.
There is a big difference in terms of side effects between when he's asking and what she's asking. The side effects for her taking oral contraceptives, compared to him using condoms is very lop sided. He's unwilling to compromise wearing a condom which really doesn't seem to be a big deal for him compared to her taking medication that messes with her hormones, weight gain, libido etc.
and OP has so little self worth allowing him to make it all about himself.
The options are pretty limitless! OP can make his girl’s dreams come true in so many ways.
Op for goodness sake. Her definition of being treated like a princess and my definition aren’t the same. She can’t tie her own shoes? She wants a slave not a bf. She sounds very immature.
You were quick to blame yourself (“When she told me, I was hurt, but didn’t overreact, and also recognized that I haven’t been as attentive as I could be lately”). But if she was invested in the relationship, she should have talked with you and you could have both communicated your feelings. She didn't. She found 'comfort' somewhere else. She could easily do the same again and blame you for your lack of attention. I think it's over and has been. Stop flogging a dead horse and move on. Good luck!
It’s abuse plain and simple. You have set boundaries and asked him not to do these things repeatedly.. He has no respect for you. Couples counseling or divorce. Those are the options.
It sounds like your husband raped your sister who was unable to consent.
Im not sure how to go about this as my class consists of 7 ppl including me and our program is pretty crap and most ppl rely on him for help with their projects as the teachers don't help us. I don't want to risk putting myself in the cross fire and having him hold a grudge against me for ruining his 'thing'. But at the same time I really want to tell her. How would I even begin to call him out ?
Him and the girl in my class's relationship works in a way that they help each other complete their projects as i explained that our program is shitty and the professors leave us hanging dry we have to depend on each other for everything.
And what if the girl in my class knows he has a gf but still chooses to date him anyway? Just don't know if i should intervene. It wouldn't be my place but I see what you're saying, if i don't tell her no one will.
You can imagine the respectful conversation is pretty much whatever OP said to her man, choose being compared in appearance to a pedo, or a prostitute or fat and ugly, or anything that you would deem horrible.
OP, have you tried oysters?
They have a subtle taste of the ocean, a lovely saltiness, but it’s a weird texture to get used to.
I gagged the first time I tried one. I gagged the first few times actually. Eventually, and with the help of Prosecco, I could manage one without gagging, and eventually came to like them.
Now I LOVE them. I ate like 25 in a sitting recently.
Some things are an acquired taste. Some things are weird to get used to.
The fact he wants to try again is lovely, he wants to like it and he probably will come to like it. It just might take a little getting used to, before it turns into something he just can’t get enough of.
As for if anything is wrong – smell yourself. If it smells good to you, then it’s probably your normal scent. They do have a natural smell and taste.
It’s a decent excuse, or you’re taking a pretty narrow view of what depression is.
My guess is this isn't even the first time he's stolen from her. How many times has he replaced it before this time?
Yea he really started the race with his pants down lol
If she really only kissed the guy, then who cares. Go after her while you still can.
That would be incredibly nude to prove.
I mean, it's not like you've kept it from her, any more than any other awkward thing you did before you met her that just hasn't come up in conversation.
Though I don't really see the reason to engage with this at all. Just ignore the messages, the scammer will get bored. If the scammer actually sends anything to anyone, then you can explain, and report scammer to the police for distributing child porn (assuming you were under 18).
I’m definitely not ok with that. I have expressed this exact logic to him and yet still, I’m overthinking it.
There were no red flags in the beginning. He spent time with me, called me every night, spent the night and the only time he was acting weird was around the time his child was born. Then he went back to normal but I thought he was in trouble because his boss had been arrested and figured he was involved in the case somehow
Can you take your mom or dad? I would love to be able to gift a close family member an experience like this. Also, don’t count out other friends with children…. We often feel tossed aside when our husbands and family circle are more than happy to step up while I step away for a few days for something like this! 🙂
What should I do?
I would agree with this advice if they both had the same amount of savings. But she has $700k inheritance plus investments, all of which will be protected by the prenup. OP has no savings, just happens to make more than fiancé.
If you agree to pay more OP, you will get screwed. You will save less and have less stability, nest egg to fall on should the worst happen. Your fiancé is doing everything to protect herself – do the same. I would not pay more considering the current situation. I do agree that you should have discussed this beforehand though but try to figure something out now. Please provide an update and good luck!?
BF sounds like an immature, self-entitled little twat. Keep the chair. Consider whether or not you want his brand of negativity in your life.
To me it sounds like these ages should be reversed. You've been acting more mature than he is.
This again proves that age does not equal maturity.
Either way, don't waste your youth on this guy.
He is going to end up betraying you.
The doctor literally insists you think about this before having a vasectomy, to ensure you are 100% sure you don't ever want kids again. OP (and anyone wanting a vasectomy) NEEDS to think about all the possible circumstances and ask themselves if they might want kids in the future. It's not a 'foot out the door' thing, it's a sensible thing to do.
My husband had a vasectomy a few weeks ago and I can't tell you the amount of times I've asked him if he's 100% sure if its right for him (even though it obviously benefits me massively), what he'd do if we separated or I died and he found himself with a partner in future who wanted babies, how he'd feel about being sterile if our kids died. The doctors asked him the exact same questions during his consultation and again before the procedure. Vasectomies should not be done to prove commitment, they should be done if you are 100% sure you never want children again. OP is NOT 100% sure!
Leaving aside the whole doing it with a friend business, have you and your wife discussed this beyond arranging it?
Ie, have you discussed the ‘rules of engagement’? Can you have sex with both women or does your wife expect you to only have sex with her? What are the limits? (Straight sex? Anal? BDSM – no idea what you guys are into but in essence does your regular bedroom play extend to the third person?). What happens if after you start you find yourself being more of a spectator with your wife and her bff getting it on. Will you be ok with that? Are you using protection? Going raw? Are STD’s a possible factor?
And more generally, is this a one-off or does your wife see this as becoming a regular occurrence? Is this her way of opening the marriage? Will she expect a reciprocal arrangement with you and another man?
These are all things you should’ve discussed prior to agreeing to this.
Frankly I agree that doing this is crazy and doing it with someone who she considers a friend is particularly crazy. But at the least I’d be telling her that you want to pause this until you’ve had a chance to talk about all the permutations and consequences. And if you decide to ignore all the advice and go through with it … I hope it’s as good an experience as you’re hoping. ?♂️
Dude there’s almost universal consensus in these comments which tells you something on Reddit. You’re playing with fire. If there’s a 1% chance it ends your marriage is it worth the risk? The odds appear way higher than that.
It’s nude to just hangout with only the girls because we’re all in each others faces interacting with whatever we’re doing at the time ( gaming on our phones or eating food)
I do also think the age gaps is a little interesting but I try to let it slide. Lately I feel like John is using his age as leverage in their relationship to manipulate my gfs sister to get what he wants out of the relationship. Now my gf says that her sister truly does love John even tho John does things that make me really question his character ( ragging on people in public about their abilities, I’ll reference a food place and his response is basically “ that’s poor people food” , ect.) John is extremely embarrassing to be around in public because he is constantly making a spectacle of himself ( talks extremely loud and yells to the point everyone around us stops taking/ eating and stares) because he almost seeming HAS to have all the attention on him. My gf says he has some insecurities and I can see it for sure. I try to look past all these issues but in the back of my mind, I can’t shake the feeling of this guy John wanting me out of the picture bc I’m stealing attention away from HIS girls. Idk it’s a weird situation and I never really reached out to anyone besides my grandmother regarding this. Everyone I’ve talked to in person tells me I deserve better and that I’m wasting my time. I definitely have learned a ton and matured so much in the last 2 years but this current situation is so frustrating idk how to deal with it.
and when my wife and I were first dating (19/21) she did really sweet things like sending me letters or postcards when she traveled. She would shoot me a text randomly throughout the day, giving me a compliment.
and most importantly to me, she wouldn’t make me choose where to eat all the time. She would make suggestions along with me ?
I use sugar wax which is a bit different from normal wax. And if you can’t take it anymore you can get it off with just warm water and you can use it without a strip, just a big ball you hold in your hand and so smaller bits at a time.
It’s all about stretching the skin properly really. The balls certainly require technique and would probably be a lot better to have another person do them so you have more hands to hold and stretch with but I would feel like an idiot with a stranger in that situation
My guess is that he doesn’t think you’re who he wants to marry, but he likes his time with you well enough to keep it going.
You’re 23…why are you in such a rush to get married? Just enjoy the ride for now, and when the relationships ends, hopefully it ends gently.
The dashcam is there for his own safety and so I can see what he's doing for peace of mind. If I tell him about the online stream thing – he's going to be really upset and I don't really want to think about how that ends. I know it's wrong but it's for his safety
The dashcam is there for his own safety and so I can see what he's doing for peace of mind. If I tell him about the online stream thing – he's going to be really upset and I don't really want to think about how that ends. I know it's wrong but it's for his safety
So let me get this right. Her last relationship the family didn’t approve of her and now your family don’t approve of her.
She physically assaulted you and when you later calmly asked what was going on – she showed her asshole by insulting your disabled younger brother and stealing your car.
Text her and tell her she needs to immediately return your car or you’re reporting it stolen in 12 hour or 24 hours or whatever. Tell her she never had permission to take it.
You need to report the car stolen. There’s a reason why she’s with you at her age – she’s an abuser and everyone knows it.
Yeah I mean they're going to be SO different it's hardly comparable. I suppose if they do find out, we make it clear we're not planning ours yet, it's just a symbol of our commitment and future plans and we want the focus to stay on their wedding it should be all good. Thanks ?
You're in an abusive relationship, but reading all your replies, you are still very much in denial about it.
Do not remove your birth control. His plan is to get you pregnant so that you are stuck to him forever. This man does not respect you. He does not respect your boundaries, and he is bit by bit working towards making you more and more dependent on him.
He will sabotage the condoms if you go off birth control.
Hey, So I charged his old phone and went through that today. Found emails from yesterday morning where he had reset his passwords for everything. So I went onto his account and changed it again. We ended up talking on the phone (he wouldn’t wait til he got home) and I told him he had to tell me the truth or I was leaving with our baby. I literally had her stuff packed and on the table and was doing my bag as well. When he got home, we sat down and at first he still denied it. I looked him in the eyes and said if he loved me, he’d tell me the truth or I’m getting our daughter and we’re leaving. He took a minute but finally admitted to it. He apologised for lying but said he didn’t want to be judged. And that he’s no bi or gay, just curious. I told him that if it happens again, I will find out and that will be it for us. We’ll be done.
Just keep telling yourself how much of a dbag he is…it won’t work immediately but eventually you’ll wonder why you ever liked him in the first place.
Please get yourself and your poor dog out of there.
The age gap was something I was uncomfortable with before we started dating. He was a few weeks away from turning 21 and I felt he was too young for me. I turned him down several times before becoming official. It's not something I think about often. Is it really creepy?
It was disrespectful and he knows it was and he wasn't joking. If you don't stop him at this boundary crossing he's going to joke and tease a lot. If you don't hold him to it does that mean your okay with the way he talks to you. Don't give your powrr away.
I was going to suggest this. People will either come in guns blazing or skip it because they think it's a troll. I don't think titles can be edited.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your help.
Women are socialized to not to give up on others. Give them the benefit of the doubt, give them another chance, then try harder ourselves.
What happens is we short-change ourselves by this sacrifice. We put our needs aside, and martyr ourselves for love.
Love yourself more than you love him, and you will realize that you are worthy of someone who is good to you as you are to them.
Even being alone is better than being used.
You can do this!
FWIW, It is YOUR money after the wedding as well. Just because you are married, doe not give your spouse full, unfettered access to your income.
Whole boat of red flags but hey hes got money and big dick right? Christ
Trust is not a human right. People earn trust by consistently behaving trustworthy.
Privacy is also important. How do we weigh privacy against trust? This is the big question for many relationships. An open clear discussion on this topic is needed.
If a person has behaved in a way that damages trust (for example contacts ex BF) then The question is do they want to earn back trust? If they desire to regain their trust, they will need to sacrifice some privacy. You will be able to trust them more if they make and keep promises. If they tell the truth, even when the truth is uncomfortable.
Some people have problems trusting others
Some people are not trustworthy
For me it is way to nude to try to sort out the lies from the truth. Relationships with liars are not worth it. Discuss her dishonesty and decide if it can be repaired. If the answer is no, then be honest with yourself and break up.
You say this person is mentally and emotionally impaired and the age of a teenager, in that regard. You say you've dated for 6 years. This means at 29 years old you chose to start dating an emotionally and intellectually aged teenager?
I am a little caught off guard by your nonchalant acknowledgement of something so incredibly problematic.
This exactly.
OP needs to read her the riot act. No sugar coated anything. “If you don't stop this, I will end it. This is the final warning.” If she still doesn't take that seriously then you gotta be prepared to walk right then and there. She needs to understand there will be swift and significant consequences to her actions. Not just words.
Next time he runs off to his momma, change the locks. Pack his stuff up and have it dropped it off at his mom's.
In the mean time, you need to contact an attorney to work out child custody terms. End the relationship. When he runs to momma, see paragraph one.
The nude reality is that sometimes things just don’t work out, especially when you’re so young. You shouldn’t stay in a relationship if you’re not feeling it anymore, and it is possible to love someone but still know that you’re not good being together. Life isn’t so black and white, and you should respect her decision and begin to move on.
This is the way! Pack a bag and stay with your folks for a while. It will give you a break physically and emotionally. For you really want your child raised in such an exhausting environment? Be yourself, be happy and light and move on! Not terrifying- it's exciting!
I think she is mad no one has proposed to her yet.
Yes. She starts out strong and he slowly just wears her down. Ask me how I know.
you do in this sub with the endless trolling/spamming/catfishing.
More attracted to you Has orgasmed less often recently and thus has less stamina Enjoying it more
Go eat a snack and hangout for 30 minutes. Offer to go round 2. He should last a lot longer regardless of the situation.
Have you asked her to go to a marriage counselor to address these issues with her?
This definitely sounds like an issue that keeps building resentment within you.
I’m really glad you brought this up, and it was something that came to mind when this started.
At the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend (3 years ago), I had a suspicion my friend had a crush on my boyfriend. My boyfriend also expressed to me he thought the same thing. She had started dressing similar to me, behaving similar to me, getting into the same interests I like, applied for a job at my work without telling me/initially lying, and got the same car as I have had for years.
She would constantly mention to me how about how lucky I was to have him, how great of a guy he was, and all of the kind gestures he would do for her (which he did to be polite because she is my friend). This would happen almost everyday, multiple times a day for a couple of months. My boyfriend also told me she would constantly stare at him.
I trust my boyfriend, and I know he would never do anything to hurt me. At first I tried to ignore her crush because I know we can’t control our feelings, but it got to the point where it made me uncomfortable. My boyfriend no longer tries interacting with her because she would read into his actions.
Her actions know reinforced my concerns from before. I initially was ignorant by assuming she would never act on her feelings, but now I’m not sure. If I had an unfaithful partner, I think it would’ve ended badly for me at that time.
Like, he's a guy.. and I said he's my boyfriend.. Where did you got him being a woman AND my wife? Lol
Thank you for actually following through so far. Not enough do. And people never learn without consequences.
Thank You for taking the time to write that. You seem like a very genuine human being. I know all these people think her and I are bad but I guarantee they’ve never had to deal with a guy fighting for his life and kids happiness and welfare and two people of similar mindset just click. I don’t care about having sex but I want to keep connecting with her. This is supposed to be our last visit so I’m sure if it is it’ll be emotional. Shit happens and people develop bonds. I guess with my health being the way it has I guess I just want to have some real moments in my life. I’m not a romantic person or sexual. I’d be embarrassed to have sex honestly but I would like to hold her and just feel her next to me. It’s been so long since I’ve even really hugged someone other then the quick hello. I think what we have here is a very emotional situation and sometimes people do what there heart tells them to do even for the wrong reasons.
I’m not going to initiate any tot make a move. We’re going for a hike and there is a ledge she will need to hold my hand to get past. I’m going to let that moment dictate what happens. It could be that there is nothing. It could be the most romantic story I’ve lived. It could be a disaster, but I’m kind of a fatalist in the sense that I believe our oaths are destined by an uncontrollable force that we can’t stop or change if we wanted. Maybe she wants me to fall in love with her and if I tell her I did that’s the win and satisfaction she was looking for.