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Model from: ru
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Birth Date: 1987-02-14
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2 things from this comment. I have BPD and I have experienced a lot of the issues you are facing. 1. Having a favourite person is not healthy. Your emotional scale is not a normal emotional scale. Your 10 could be someone else’s 100. You need to accept that because of your disorder no neurotypical person you love will ever feel the exact same way about you that you do them. It will be different. And that’s okay. They will like you or love you to their fullest, and if it’s healthy that will mean living their own lives, having their own friends and enjoying their own hobbies. Without you. This is not abandonment. This is normal. Normal people can be alone without being lonely. For you it will take practice. You say you get sad outside work – so you obviously have time to do things because you have time to get sad. Join a yoga class or a running club. Exercise and meditation are great for BPD.
You use the word love very lightly. You would probably use other words lightly as well. Your bf it seems, does not. This will be a double edged sword for you that if you’re undergoing treatment and working on yourself will help you recognise and develop trust and normal boundaries. Your bf does not say things he doesn’t mean. So you can trust and appreciate his words more. You will also have to steel yourself against feelings of upset and disappointment and when he doesn’t say what you want him to say. For all the people saying that your awful for splitting, don’t stress about that. Just try your best not to split. Sometimes you might mess up. But the important thing is to pick your self control right back up, own your actions and don’t let your symptoms put the blame on anyone else.
she does not do that that's the fact. She can be really intelligent about other things
Wow. Sounds like your bf cares more for his ex than he does for you.
I’d move out and find my own place if I were you because your house is no longer your home.
Whether you decide to stay together is up to you, but the fact that your bf let his ex abuse you, stalk you and attempt to blackmail you with revenge porn (illegal) tells me he doesn’t give a fuck about you. You should have gone to the cops when he threatened the video.