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You are adults make some official(but tentative) division of labour within house. I also have issue of being oblivious of what needs to be helped with if someone else is mostly managing situation. It's better to establish it clearly from the get go, then he can know what needs to be done on the day before he is free for the rest of it.
I wouldn’t automatically trust that she had protection, get a paternity test bro
To get into the boy's soul
You can “make” anyone do anything. She is young and immature due to her young age, you are 7 years older then her.
I’m sorry ❤️ I’m sending you so much love. Just know that you deserve so much better & whatever happened and whatever happens- none of it is your fault. He is simply projecting his own issues and insecurities on you. I hope that you can find that love and peace that you deserve.
2 lessons here. 1) he’s a rp-ist. 2) most of the time men & women can’t be plutonic
Having a college degree isn’t necessarily going to motivate him to get a better job. There are tons of people who have degrees and never went anywhere with them.
In my area a lawyer is required for divorce, whether amicable or not. I guess it varies by county or state.
Just communicate minimally with this dude he is just trying to make you as miserable as possible with each interaction. Separate your belongings, move to different houses or apartments, and get the legal documents going as quickly as you can. If he hasn’t filed for divorce you should file. Get it started asap, the sooner it’s started the sooner it will be over.
It’s so funny because many times the partner ignores you, minimizes your emotions, laughs at your trying to improve the marriage. Then when you go to divorce they are SHOCKED and want to communicate and to talk. See it all the time on this subreddit. It’s not fun but you are not alone.
If his only prerogative is to drag out the divorce and guilt you then just cut off all nonessential divorce contact completely. Just like you are trying to do. You got this.
That’s good for you. Not every pregnancy is the same. Some women have to be on bed rest their whole pregnancy, can barely walk, can’t keep food down etc.
Your bf doesn’t get to dictate this…at all. I am also passing as a native a English speaker, and when anyone even for a second doubts my heritage I break out a few choice words in my native language, mainly tell them they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about and they shut right up. I’ve never had anyone say anything after that and even the assholes who wanted to challenge me have been like 2 in the 28 years I’ve lived in this country.
I don’t know why he’s battling so nude about this, but you’re definitely not over reacting and he’s 100% on the wrong. You speak the language, you know and PRACTICED all the traditions growing up, you were a citizen MOST of your life. And the UK doesn’t have automatic citizenship for people simply born there, like the US does, so you’re 100% living YOUR culture. Ugh….what a turd.
couldn't you find anyone else other than 44 year old married man. leave em alone you have done enough damage.
Yeah that’s a lot of wild shit to have to put up with.
It’s time to start compartmentalizing a bit of this. You can’t let it all stack up and weigh against your husband.
In laws often fucking suck. There’s a reason they make movies about it. Adults that think they know everything, that didn’t raise you, imposing their lives in yours. What could go wrong!? Lol
Yeah it’s better to set boundaries with them via your husband. But also understand that, people are going to be people. It’s their grand child, they’re going to want to see him etc. if they are u willing to meet you half way then they just have to lose some privileges until then. It’s YOUR child. You and husband get the final say in what’s okay.
As for your cheating husband.
If you were a new couple and he kissed a girl one time ten years ago or whatever, it’s dumb as hell of him but I wouldn’t say it’s relationship ending by any means. Sucks you had to be friends with her though. Yucky. But it’s in the past. And if he says it didn’t go any further than that, you’ll have to just accept it if you stick around .
I don’t blame you at all for being overwhelmed. That’s a lot. You must be going through so much right now.
Maybe instead of a separation from the father of your child, y’all just need a little break from life. Get through u til you can have a night or day or whatever to just relax. I know there’s a new kid. That’s nude but that’s part of parenting. First two years or so are always the hardest.
Hope you figure it out! And hope the in-laws chill out a bit.
That’s how it’s done. I’m so sick of seeing people post about pretty serious things that happened to them and watching the comments fill up with virtue signals.
I agree with your decision. It seems like she can’t understand that although her intentions weren’t bad, she’s still wrong. I think it may be nude to completely cut her out of your life since there may be family gatherings or something, but not allowing her alone time with the baby is acceptable in my opinion because you can’t trust her anymore. You also need to consider that since your dad doesn’t agree with you, it’s very likely that if your parents were babysitting for you, they would allow grandma to come over and have time with the baby. So you need to decide how far you’re willing to take this and what your boundaries are.
I also think you and your husband need to have a discussion about expectations you have for family members around your baby. For example, if someone in his family broke a rule (ex: not letting baby have x,y,x) is he also willing to cut them out?
Well, I guess I can google it for you.
“N. gonorrhoeae bacteria require a warm, moist environment such as the mucous membranes of the urinary tract, the vagina, or the anus (both men and women). Outside of the body, the bacteria survive for only about one minute.”
So with that being said, unless she's mounting that pole instantaneously after another stripper, my money is on lying.
” kissing does, in fact, have the potential to spread oropharyngeal gonorrhea”
Meaning mouth or throat – not genitalia, though I guess mouth throat to oral…
Also she could have gotten it prior to you and not known it.
-There you go, my google to you.
Ok lets assume she's being 100% honest with you. I'm not entirely sure why staying with her continues to be a good idea. Assuming she's correct, what STD do you have in store next, with all this spit swapping, fluid swapping work place?
It's also not very helpful regarding advice wanted.
I admit there's no easy answer but clearly your mother is treating you like a child OP so you just have to stand up for yourself and demand the indeoence you deserve and even the right to make your own mistakes, should that be what they are.
Have you ever met this man in real life?
This! If you have close friends graduating with you, I’m willing to bet their family would love to have you tag along over celebrating by yourself.
Honestly, if this was for something superfluous, like a new TV or a wedding, then I'd probably mock-up some formula, like the following, to try and isolate objective and subjective variables and make a more sound decision.
=SUM(1- (ME_WORK_HOURS / COMBINED_HOURS)) \ (( 1- ME_STRESS ) * 2 ) * (ME_INCOME + BF_INCOME)*
But this is housing we're talking about. A basic-need. Both of you should be contributing everything you can to securing it, regardless of how to split it, even if that means that you and he own different amounts in the end. The per-month payment shouldn't be crossing either of your minds, all that matters is that it's paid and how much each of you have paid.
Splitting bills 50/50 is one thing, because of the perpetual-payment aspect it's nude to get a sense of shared scale with collaborative earnings and the answer is 'just agree how to split it'. Housing isn't that, it's a big purchase that's paid-off over a finite amount of time, and that makes it easy to plan.
TL:DR; you and your BF need to put-away all spare money until you both, together, have enough to complete the mortgage (including interest). Pay the mortgage from that saving account and keep a note of who's paid-in how much. When the house is paid-off, you'll be able to work-out the ownership-split, and if you'd like you could then work-out a plan on equalising the payments between the two of you.
The arguing can wait for when its relevant. You've got a house to secure.
Oooooof, OP I have been in (minus the OF detail) your position and it hurts like hell when a trip gets booked that you can't go on, then the pics start popping up of them with other women but you're told you are a paranoid, impoverished, overworked and jealous hater who is “blowing things out of proportion”. Lying by the sin of omission is cruel and manipulative. You have a right to feel hurt and I hope you find the strength to take a permanent vacation from this relationship.
I know sex doesn’t cross your mind, but it’s clear your fiancé feels that sex is connected to his intimacy, and he probably feels like he’s the only one that’s attempting intimacy right now, which can be frustrating and disappointing for anybody.
A lot of women’s libido’s decreasing with medical issues, aging, etc. is just blamed on women being women, when actually a lot of the time it’s a hormonal imbalance that can be mitigated with medical treatment. Please talk to your gyne about what can be done to help bring your libido back. But if it’s gone for good, please start to make sex something you actively think about. You and your fiancé are both way too young to miss out on sex the rest of your lives
FWIW, nearly all birth control pills are so low-dose these days that they need to be taken at the same time of day.
This “Alex” had every right to not want to be your “rebound”. People fresh out of relationships just aren't a good bet if you're looking for a stable situation. But you were still in your relationship when you met this person. All her rejection really proves is that she's got some morals and isn't going to offer herself up to be someone's side piece.
If she won't accept responsibility for hitting you, then I am not sure this is something you can work through. If she takes responsibility for it, you may be able to, but keep an eye out for other abuse and have a safe exit plan in mind if you need it.
What advice are you actually looking for? What do you want to hear?
You’ve created a new family, with a wife who doesn’t want to include your daughter from your old family. You’ve allowed it for years with no real consequences. You continue to allow it by having more kids in new family. You continue to allow it by staying with your wife while she continues to be mean to your daughter.
Seriously, what exactly are you looking for Reddit to say?
Honestly if you can’t even step up to protect your daughter at least leave her with her mom, where shes safe and loved.
Stay broken up. The whole situation is a giant red flag.
Like – did you work for over 20 years? Get married? Have kids? Had multiple partners before finding the right one? You‘re in a STAGE of growing up and you‘re nowhere near being a full grown adult. You‘re still in the stage of developping into one and that‘s fine. You‘re not a child either.
the thing is – whenever I argue about this it‘s always men telling me that „tHeY aRe GroWn Up“ no fuck they are not. I didn‘t finish my law school yet. I didn‘t get married or started a family yet and I‘m still on a journey to learn more about adult life. And if you think you‘re as mature as someone who is double your age, you just aren‘t mature
You don’t. There might have been a small chance if he had been upfront and confessed. He continued to lie.
There is no reason to ever have a dating app in a relationship unless you’re looking to cheat. You’re always going to have to worry if you give him another chance. He’ll just hide it better next time.
I suggest having your husband talk to his parents. My FIL did this to me for a few months when I was pregnant with my youngest (wouldn’t even talk to me when he came to our house). I had the husband ask him why and he said I said/done something’s to his wife (not my MIL) that offended her. When the husband told me about the conversation I called my FIL and we had a long talk about all of it, it was all incredibly dumb and they were behaving childishly. He apologized and became one of my favorite people and biggest supporters before he passed away. His wife is still awful though, we don’t speak anymore.
I don’t want to hurt him anymore, I honestly just want to know what the right thing to do is. And I want to set things right.
He wouldve been a deal breaker for me. I tell dudes up front if they make me cum they win a gold medal cuz that shit is nude! I dont cum from masturbating either. Yay ssris. It doesnt bother me tho. They worry about it more than I do.
You're too old to be dealing with this middle school BS.
Brad sounds like a grade A asshole. You seem to like Jake so who the fuck cares what his frat thinks. Its all BS that won't mean a damn thing in a couple of years but your shallowness might mean you miss out on a great guy.
Tell Brad to go suck is frat buddies balls and have fun with Jake.
I think your husband might be brain dead, because that's the dumbest lie I've ever heard to hide cheating.