Looks like he thought you were moldable and ignorant “fun” when you were 18yrs old……now that you've got a couple more years of maturity under your belt, you're now “annoying” in his eyes (aka – he can't control you). Maybe now, this will be the next phase in your maturation, and you'll simply leave ??♂️.
Yeah but wouldn’t you tell your partner that an ex is the only option? Wouldn’t you let your partner know beforehand? Not just assuming they’d be okay with it ?
Maybe she was too enthusiastic about the new boyfriend and wanted to move in ASAP. It happens. But that’s where it’s starts to get wrong.
You offered her to rent it, but you are the one who made the reservation. So in the end, she’s not using it, but she’s making money out of it and keeping it, while I guess you did pay for the reservation right ? The appropriate thing to do would have been to decline the renting with excuses because she was the one who asked you to look for something and let you decide whatever you wanted to do with the house. Or if she does sublet it, she should give the money back to you, at least part of it, and with your approval.
But it’s your sister. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. She might have not thought of it before or been influenced by someone. Talk to her, ask her questions to know why it happened and then make it clear that this won’t do, you were the one who reserved it, any subletting should pass by you, she’s not living there, she has no rights on any money made by it. Even yourself can only sublet with the owner’s permission, she clearly doesn’t have it anyway.
the latter half of that is so difficult tho because he’s a family member of one of my best friends… I definitely don’t feel like getting police involved, in some ways i’m worried it may have seen like i strung him on bc i was always very nice to him/gave him attention – that’s what his mom was saying why he acted like that… ugh
I second this, protect yourself both from a legal and a “survival” perspective. Make sure that you control the story too : Too many times, partners who lied for years like that are very good at spreading lies about you too to make you look like you were in the wrong, and people will turn your back on you based on his words if you don't speak first.
He acted like a pig, and brought prostitute in your house where your kids are : don't feel bad for him, and tell people that can help you what he did and ask them for help before he make them believe you were the one who did wrong
You're not over thinking it. There are plenty of birth control options for women and she just needs to speak to her gp about it. I'd also keep your condoms where she doesn't know and only get one out when you're planning on intimacy.
She does have respect for my feelings which is why I’m not sure I want to say anything because I know it would affect her decision and since we’re not dating anymore I feel like it would be wrong for me to do
She needs a lot of help. Professional help. Being supportive and loving is great ofc, but she’s not in a place to hear it or believe it.
Her mental health isn’t her fault, but it is her responsibility to manage. Taking her moods out on you is an example of how she’s not managing it.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but I don’t think anything will improve unless/until she is committed to working on her emotional and mental health with a qualified professional.
Eh, I don’t find by text to be as big of a faux pas anymore but you’re right, going on break never works out. It’s just a “half measure” when someone is too afraid to rip the bandaid off to me.
Im have a uterus for 30 years and ovulated for 17. I think i know more about emotions during ovulation more than some man who cant even recognize endo symptoms. And whats going on has NOTHING to do with her ovaries releasing eggs. The fact that you go through her phone to see her period tracking (which is probably wrong) is creepy and controlling.
And for the record, i wouldnt even date you based on your post history never mind reproduce with you. Youre clearly emotionally abuse and eventually abandon any family you may have. Youre an emotionally abusive asshole and ild hate your ass too. Im guessing when she tries to leave, you threaten to eat a bottle of pills.
Maybe you really are suicidal. If so, you need to place yourself in an inpatient program and get help. But your posts remind me strongly of my abusive ex who would pull stunts and make threats to abuse and manipulate me into staying.
No I can’t figure it out because I was deprived of oxygen at birth. Yeah obviously I get it. I’m just saying everyone’s extreme avoidance of the word aunt here is pretty hilarious because she is their aunt. You might say “aunt by marriage” – instead we’re getting real creative here to make it sound less incestuous…idk. Weird.
Same. I get nothing 99.9% of the time from my husband, unless it's date night and I come down the stairs after 2 and a half hours of prep for hair, clothes, and makeup. Then I get the same standard smile he uses for EVERYTHING and a “Very pretty.” :/
My state is 5 years, and I know of companies/agencies that have 7-10 year policies. It is a very strict ethical boundary because of the nature of the dynamic. It is manipulation and a level of grooming. It’s very similar to the dynamic between boss/employee or doctor/patient. I work in mental health and have absolutely seen and reported when staff was breaching boundaries. I’ve seen exactly what happens when it goes to far. Clients so sure that they have an actual romance with their therapist because they buy each other gifts and food and hangout and text.
It’s already booked, i did try talking to him before he booked but we weren’t in a good place and he wasn’t willing to hear what I was saying. He gets it now, he finally thought about it from my POV and feels bad, but it’s too late to change, not that I would want him to
I take pics of myself all the time to remind myself I’m a bad bitch.
Mines just called ? but I missed the call and got blocked again ??♂️
Looks like he thought you were moldable and ignorant “fun” when you were 18yrs old……now that you've got a couple more years of maturity under your belt, you're now “annoying” in his eyes (aka – he can't control you). Maybe now, this will be the next phase in your maturation, and you'll simply leave ??♂️.
Yeah but wouldn’t you tell your partner that an ex is the only option? Wouldn’t you let your partner know beforehand? Not just assuming they’d be okay with it ?
Maybe she was too enthusiastic about the new boyfriend and wanted to move in ASAP. It happens. But that’s where it’s starts to get wrong.
You offered her to rent it, but you are the one who made the reservation. So in the end, she’s not using it, but she’s making money out of it and keeping it, while I guess you did pay for the reservation right ? The appropriate thing to do would have been to decline the renting with excuses because she was the one who asked you to look for something and let you decide whatever you wanted to do with the house. Or if she does sublet it, she should give the money back to you, at least part of it, and with your approval.
But it’s your sister. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. She might have not thought of it before or been influenced by someone. Talk to her, ask her questions to know why it happened and then make it clear that this won’t do, you were the one who reserved it, any subletting should pass by you, she’s not living there, she has no rights on any money made by it. Even yourself can only sublet with the owner’s permission, she clearly doesn’t have it anyway.
You are supposed to dump him immediately.
This is how he acts when you need medical care. This is how he act when you need real help.
DO NOT stay with someone like this, he'll leave you to suffer or worse. He already did.
Girl get the fuck away from this guy, your life might depend on it. He's useless when it counts.
the latter half of that is so difficult tho because he’s a family member of one of my best friends… I definitely don’t feel like getting police involved, in some ways i’m worried it may have seen like i strung him on bc i was always very nice to him/gave him attention – that’s what his mom was saying why he acted like that… ugh
I second this, protect yourself both from a legal and a “survival” perspective. Make sure that you control the story too : Too many times, partners who lied for years like that are very good at spreading lies about you too to make you look like you were in the wrong, and people will turn your back on you based on his words if you don't speak first.
He acted like a pig, and brought prostitute in your house where your kids are : don't feel bad for him, and tell people that can help you what he did and ask them for help before he make them believe you were the one who did wrong
You're not over thinking it. There are plenty of birth control options for women and she just needs to speak to her gp about it. I'd also keep your condoms where she doesn't know and only get one out when you're planning on intimacy.
She does have respect for my feelings which is why I’m not sure I want to say anything because I know it would affect her decision and since we’re not dating anymore I feel like it would be wrong for me to do
“how dare you compare gathering evidence of something gross that was lied about to gathering evidence of something gross that was lied about” ooookay.
She needs a lot of help. Professional help. Being supportive and loving is great ofc, but she’s not in a place to hear it or believe it.
Her mental health isn’t her fault, but it is her responsibility to manage. Taking her moods out on you is an example of how she’s not managing it.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but I don’t think anything will improve unless/until she is committed to working on her emotional and mental health with a qualified professional.
To me its rude and disrespectful. If they don't like it return it
Why? Why would undermining it help?
“He tried to stab you repeatedly? That's kind of a red flag, girl”
His persistence is working, tho. She's thinking of taking him back. It's so tragic.
Eh, I don’t find by text to be as big of a faux pas anymore but you’re right, going on break never works out. It’s just a “half measure” when someone is too afraid to rip the bandaid off to me.
Im have a uterus for 30 years and ovulated for 17. I think i know more about emotions during ovulation more than some man who cant even recognize endo symptoms. And whats going on has NOTHING to do with her ovaries releasing eggs. The fact that you go through her phone to see her period tracking (which is probably wrong) is creepy and controlling.
And for the record, i wouldnt even date you based on your post history never mind reproduce with you. Youre clearly emotionally abuse and eventually abandon any family you may have. Youre an emotionally abusive asshole and ild hate your ass too. Im guessing when she tries to leave, you threaten to eat a bottle of pills.
Maybe you really are suicidal. If so, you need to place yourself in an inpatient program and get help. But your posts remind me strongly of my abusive ex who would pull stunts and make threats to abuse and manipulate me into staying.
No I can’t figure it out because I was deprived of oxygen at birth. Yeah obviously I get it. I’m just saying everyone’s extreme avoidance of the word aunt here is pretty hilarious because she is their aunt. You might say “aunt by marriage” – instead we’re getting real creative here to make it sound less incestuous…idk. Weird.
Same. I get nothing 99.9% of the time from my husband, unless it's date night and I come down the stairs after 2 and a half hours of prep for hair, clothes, and makeup. Then I get the same standard smile he uses for EVERYTHING and a “Very pretty.” :/
My state is 5 years, and I know of companies/agencies that have 7-10 year policies. It is a very strict ethical boundary because of the nature of the dynamic. It is manipulation and a level of grooming. It’s very similar to the dynamic between boss/employee or doctor/patient. I work in mental health and have absolutely seen and reported when staff was breaching boundaries. I’ve seen exactly what happens when it goes to far. Clients so sure that they have an actual romance with their therapist because they buy each other gifts and food and hangout and text.
It’s already booked, i did try talking to him before he booked but we weren’t in a good place and he wasn’t willing to hear what I was saying. He gets it now, he finally thought about it from my POV and feels bad, but it’s too late to change, not that I would want him to
No one in history has cheated, and then spun a narrative to try to hide what really happened while trickle truthing their partner, so damn, good point