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Your gonna be worried/stressed and not be able to now anyway
What men are sticking in a eight month relationship without sex? This is a false dichotomy.
She should’ve said it kinder but she has real needs that’s are not being tended to.
I don’t think they meant this situation, I think they were commenting on how the OP said it would be tough seeing them several times a week once they go back to work. That’s the risk-that you have an awkward breakup and then still have to see them.
Did he have sex with a man or woman?
When you talk about the fact that he doesn't ask you questions anymore, what does he say?
glad you’re not the spokesperson for women
It's okay to not want him to look at other naked women.
You need to sit him down and tell him you know it's still happening and it is something you are not okay with and tell him you are setting the boundary of no porn/NSFW images.
If you're comfortable with it, ask him if you can send him dirty pictures instead. I do that for my husband and he loves it.
If he continues to have problems he could have an addictive personality and have a naked time quitting something that gives you such a big dopamine release. Y'all might benefit from looking into some articles on fighting porn addiction.
Don’t feel bad about the way you reacted, it’s a normal reaction to freeze in this kind of scenario. It’s a lot easier said than done to kick up a fuss.
You don't need to choose tbh, just stay neutral and let them figure it out. Probability of the culprit being Jessica is pretty high.
If she’s also interested in trying to solve it, maybe she could practice on something of similar size. Once she’s comfortable she won’t vom from it, move on to the real thing.
What do you think forgiveness looks like? Do you just want to hear the words or do you expect their actions to change? Have you apologized to the girl’s family and everyone at the wake? Even with forgiveness, consequences remain. Unless you can erase what you’ve done, things will always be different. Did you apologize only to achieve forgiveness? Apology with a motive is not a true apology. You apologize because you did something wrong not to mitigate consequences. You are in therapy which is great. That shows a commitment to change. That should also be part of an apology. But an apology should be without expectations.
i agree with you. i dont want a pity “maybe date”
I told her I would get in touch, i would rather text her and ask to get closure rather than not ask her and assume not.
maybe I'm just finding reasons to continue this with her but we I'll never know unless I'm ready to be vulnerable because i know that if its a know then its a no.
We are on social media let alone reddit which means everything has to have sexual undertones. And here people rush to invest, redditors ?
Trust your instincts – if you have lost your love of and trust in your wife, and there’s no children in the picture for you to consider, then ask yourself do you really have anything left to stay in this marriage for? At the end of the day it’s clear you really want children while your wife doesn’t want anymore so staying in this relationship will only keep you unhappy and make you resent her even more.
All this creepiness and he cheated with her.
That shows his standards are even lower.
If you date him you are accepting he will cheat on you again. You showed him you will come back.
That’s a good question. I’ve struggled with this sort of thing too personally by the way but I’ve gotten better about it.
When I’m feeling very bad, I feel like a mess. Like I don’t know where to even start untangling what’s going on in my head and my heart. And it feels terrible and I need help. This is the hardest part. But at least for me, this is the part where I have to clean myself up a little. Cleaning myself up a little means asking what’s really wrong, doing some basic self care (making sure I’ve eaten, slept, gotten sunlight, hydrated, showered, etc…).
Once I’ve done the basic stuff, then I ask my partner for help.
The last time this happened went a little like this, actually. I ended up telling him basically “I feel awful and I need help”. That’s being clean about it. I’m telling him what I need from him and he knows what to expect.
Being messy about it is saying for example, “I’m X and Y and I’m sorry I’m like that.” But being cleaner about it is if you can say “I’m feeling like im X and Y right now”
As an example it may feel like a really small distinction, but it makes it more clear what you’re looking for from him, and if this is coming from the idea that he believes things you say at face value, it would make a night and day difference
As far as untangling the situation where it looks like he believes the bad things you’ve said about yourself in the past, you might want to have a conversation with him where you basically say “hey I sometimes struggle with insecurities. I often phrase it as just saying bad things about myself, but I know they’re not really true or they’re exaggerated. I’ll try to do better about being clear when I’m looking for support, but it would mean the world to me if you met me in the middle and helped give me some encouragement and a reality check if I’m feeling bad about myself”
I hope my essay was understandable
Came here for this!
Well then you have to work on it or end it. But it's a big and good step you want to talk to a therapist.
it’s his opinion to think that there is nothing wrong with it, but it is true that some take that option. it’s common and i’ve seen it happen time and time again. i wanted to come here to see what others think of this since i can only sit with myself on this
What are your intentions with him? Is he the guy you want to spend your life with, or is he just the guy you are with for now?
If you want to stay with him, and you think he's husband material, then you should be open regarding the kind of man you are looking for. If you won't tolerate infidelity, then let him know this. If you get to the point where you are considering marriage, discuss a prenuptial to protect yourself.
No one knows the future, but you can be clear in your intention and expectations with him. The rest is on him.
And to be sure… there are plenty of men who have vowed to never cheat on their spouses, only to break that vow down the road. So, even if a man pledges loyalty, it's not worth a damn thing. Only actions matter in this regard.
Yikes, it baffles me you’re still considering dating him. I bet most of those girls wouldn’t be happy knowing their pictures are being shared like that. It’s disgusting, those girls are someone else’s daughter, sister, mother and or friend. You could be one of those girls
Stop getting involved in your sons sexual life.
He isn't obligated to tell you anything.
You are absolutely right.
He raped you. Saying sorry doesn't make up for that. He knew exactly what he was doing and you need to get away from him because he will do it again.
Sorry, I'm talking about personal experience. Obviously not all people experience the same side effects and since usually the extreme side effects are outliers are not discussed enough.
I never found the right birth control because they all made me depressed and messed me up. I ended up having to settle on one and start taking medication for my depression and anxiety.
You can always try and make it work, figure out why he’s changed. Have naked conversations with him. It won’t matter if you make him unhappy with what you’re digging up because you’re getting divorced anyways. But yeah at this point you would be doing yourself a dis service to stay married.
Yea she dated my bf best friend. His friend has a new gf and she had a problem with their relationship at first too. Idk what it is but I think she just comes off some type of way. All of them are friends though and hang out regularly
This kind post always seemed to get an update where she was projecting and feeling guilty and started a fight so they could blame the other person.
the journaling/notes should be a non-issue. there’s different styles of journaling and some people journal in the moment to get things off their chest.. they don’t always mean them. they’re a person’s private thoughts and should be treated like a diary.
with that being said, contemplating divorce every time you’re angry is not healthy
also unhealthy is your partner demanding to invade your privacy without cause and issuing an ultimatum of divorce, instead of connecting and communicating with you in a civil manner
the relationship sounds toxic for both people
Get out right now for you and your child
Honey, he’s pushing 40 and dating girls 2/3 his age. There’s a reason. Women his age won’t put up with his bullshit.
Find someone your own age and leave the pushing-middle-age-but-think-they’re-still-in-their-20s losers alone.