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I agree that living together requires compromise but I don’t think pets are eligible for compromise. Not when you’re in a relationship. You either want them or you don’t.
OP put himself in a bad position. He put forward an ultimatum hoping it would be enough to stop the gf but she called it. Now options are limited. Stay true to his word and leave or set a precedent that ultimatums mean nothing.
Call the cops. Immediately. Like 15 minutes ago. Holy shit he stole $20k from you.
I don't know how. I feel like I'm stuck waiting for him to come back as pathetic as it sounds
They are seeing a different guy to what you are seeing, because you have those rose coloured spectacles on, that blind you to all the red flags he’s waving! ( I’m guessing his cheapness is not his only flaw?)
You should read all these comments and really retink what you wanna do. So many people explained to you why this relationship is bad.
And you mentioned you want a man like him in your life but did he mention a future together?
Why are you so sure he will not discard you? Cuz people at 18 doesn't really see it straight and rather look the world through rose colored glasses cuz you didn't experienced much hardship and don't know how hard things can get and it's easy to think everything will be ok.
You can also sent her a link to this post and have the conversation afterwards.
If you’re OP then great, but I don’t get why you think you know OP so well if you’re not him.
It would not absolve you of child support obligation, but they can’t make you assume any custody.
IANAL, but I’m very familiar with this system because a family member went through the whole thing.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
There really isn’t too much else. It started with her asking to hang out with him and part of me thought “don’t ask me permission that’s weird” so I told her no worries just don’t do anything you wouldn’t want me doing and I really am cool with whoever you see. Then she asked if I had an issue with it, I said it wasn’t my favorite but I’ll be fine- do your thing.
Then it happened. She said “he’s going to be at our wedding” and I was like “The FUCK he is” –
I don’t know, I feel like it’s not insane to have basic guest veto power when it comes to past partners. Honestly in my mind we both have guest veto for smaller stuff… he drinks too much, she’s an attention seeker, etc etc.
But exes??? I don’t feel like I’m even being weird saying don’t have him at MY wedding. In your day to day life, have your friends. I’m adult enough to understand you fucked some of them.
My wedding??? No sir.
It devolved into some shouting matches and other nonsense and I just feel gross about it.
What would you suggest? Capitulate and make peace and just know some guy at my wedding fucked my new wife or dig my heels in and make it clear it’s my day too and I have a pretty standard subset of who I don’t want there ?
TL:DR Gf and I talk freely about the future and she said she’d invite an ex fwb/ situationship to the wedding because they’re friends. I said he’ll no and it’s a problem currently. Need advice.
Punching a hole in the wall is the signal that they next time the hole will be in the middle of your face. Yes, the relationship is over (unless you want to get hurt). That's just a bridge too far regardless of the stressors that got him there. Get as much as you can out of the house you share with him then do the breakup over the phone. The most dangerous time in a relationship with a hothead is when you tell them you're leaving.
Exactly!
“It's not that he's too short, I just want, on the most important day of our lives, for him to look normal” is essentially what she's saying.
Poor Fiancée
I’ve seen a number of very short documentary films about this situation
The UTI is an issue, but it’s not the issue. The big problem here is that your boyfriend is disrespectful of your boundaries and doesn’t care about your feelings. There’s an easy solution – throw the whole man out. You deserve better than this. I can’t imagine being so selfish and hurtful to my wife to even say something like, “You need to make yourself tighter down there.” Vaginas self-lubricate and relax when they are stimulated; that’s how they work. If it’s like a “corridor” to him then maybe he’s just not that well endowed and it’s him that has the problem. Respond by telling him to grow a bigger penis, because then you’d feel it better! But seriously, his behaviour is abusive, selfish and abhorrent and if he can’t respect you, you need to break up with him.
The men who think that are fucking idiots. This dude masturbates so goddamn vigorously that he has desensitised his dick and he's blaming his girlfriend.
It sounds like she is the primary care giver so realistically they need to either learn to on-line together in a civil way or he needs to move out.
You are really so creepy and gross that you think you're doing her a favour trying to “push her outa her comfort zone”
Nah man, you're making it WORSE. In reality you are sexually harassing her and violating her boundaries. This has nothing to do with fixing anxiety — you only think so because you're sad you cannot add to your spank bank and won't take any accountability.
You're not a messiah and she's not a pet that has to obey for your pleasure. Ick
I will probably reply to more of your comments in hopes you eventually realize how abusive your behaviour is.
It's people like you that give others trauma.
As a clinical researcher who not only reads trashy romance books, but who has written three of her own… What you read in your spare time shouldn't matter! What a judgy butt head. I can read science papers, but would you catch me with a non-fiction or biography? Hell no, I read for enjoyment. Get it, girl.
Has there been a change to her work ethic, and/or has she been out of the house more than usual in these past 6 months?
Wow, that’s some 1930s Germany shit right here. You know how that turned out, right? You weren’t on the right side.
holy shit, i somehow missed that bit. Yeah, obviously she's got her own stuff but he's a real POS.
Please, whatever else you do, listen to yourself and get free of your controlling parents. When you told them you're leaving, their response was aggressive because they see you getting away from them and losing their ability to control you life.
Life is about taking chances and learning about yourself and where you fit in. You are right, you ARE an adult and you can make your own decisions.
You missed the mark marrying someone that wants to “pass on his genetics” – what a weird way to say it. Makes me think of those “alpha male” types.
Anywayys, isn’t the only “donation” you can make sperm? That’s physical.
He sounds incredibly selfish and trustworthy – “i need to have a child so bad that I’ll go cheat on my wife, even though I’ll have nothing to do with that child”
So weird. Divorce.