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Yeah, I’d tell her “You made your bed, you need to lay in it.” And block her. She doesn’t sound like a good friend at all
Yeah unfortunately, the thought that she's keeping her options open or likes the attention is something that bothers me.
Am I missing something???? It was a slap out of frustration and neglect. I’m not seeing where this is a pattern of abuse. I’m not saying it’s ok to physically put hands or harm someone but please look at the context of the OPs story people! She clearly acted out because of her being neglected by her husband for the whole trip and was looking to make him feel something. Her actions were horrible and shouldn’t be condoned but everyone is jumping to make her a monster. It’s a cry for help and attention!!! Her actions in kissing another guy is deplorable and grounds for divorce but look at the cause that lead to the symptoms. Neglect IS A THING!
You don’t have to like him. If his being offensive is inevitable, stop going to or arranging events that he attends. Tell your BF that, while you are happy to arrange an intimate birthday dinner, you will no longer put your money and efforts into gatherings where you will be belittled or humiliated.
sadly, i’ll agree with the people who said that there is not much your BF could do in the moment that wouldn’t make it worse.
The question is whether your BF has any boundaries regarding the friend (would he be OK with a song that insults him?) and what it means for you that you are dating a man who accepts behavior like this. 25 seems old for this BS.
Tell it to get fucked
Not that I could’ve done it any other way. We’re in different countries now
Get the fuck away from her. She's trying to keep you trapped in her life, and make you miserable cos misery loves company. This is emotional blackmail and with that will come emotional abuse. Don't do it.
Kinda pointless, she'll just make excuses if he records it. No need to be extra, just leave.
I’m gonna be talking to a lawyer or something
A lawyer?? Maybe. First of all – You need to tell family you can trust. You need to STAY with family you can trust. You're dating a STALKER. This guy is toxicly, dangerously obsessed with you, and this is BAD. This is a VERY dangerous situation for you. You need to talk to family and explain everything ROGHT AWAY. DONT FOR ONE SECOND think you can handle this all by yourself, alone. Explain the situation, let people know what has happened. If you go missing, this is VERY important information for family and friends to know so they can help you. Second, come up with a plan with your family on how to contact authorities or how to stay safe in case of retaliation. Technically, he hasn't broken the law yet (unless he has videos/pictures of you not in public space, minor, etc). The authorities will only help you if he's trespassing or breaking some law. But dudes like this are fuckin crazy and will retaliate. You barely started dating so, break it off and with family present. NEVER EVER BE ALONE WITH HIM AGAIN. NEVER. This is NOT normal. This is dangerous and you need to see that, you need to understand that, and come up with a plan to keep you safe! You're dating a fucking psycho stalker. So far, he's won the girl he's obsessed with. What will he do when he loses her? Like for real – movie type shit but id you're bieng honest – I would be scared too.
Lie about something family related and its important for you. Make something up. Tell your parents/family its an emergency and you are in danger and need to talk. And once you are with family ask them if you can stay with them for a while until you feel safe. Honestly, you need people present in your life, more eyes to watch around you incase psycho bf decides to show up.
If they won’t listen to what people around them say, what makes you think any resource will penetrate with them? Your own link says “Foley Martinez encouraged establishing boundaries with your loved one. If they continue to engage in harmful language or behaviors, you may need to distance yourself from them. Even then, she recommends still reaching out from time to time to let them know you still care”. So OP should tell C “when you finally realize how harmful this is for you and your children I’ll be right here for you, but until then I can’t be around your hate.” People who don’t know how to help can often make thing worse.
Your WIFE
Yes!! That is the same rule my husband and I have agreed upon since day one. Have friends of the opposite gender. But never, ever do or say ANYTHING you wouldn’t want your partner knowing about.
You don't love him and you know that things changing won't change that so you have your answer. Time to suck it up and go.
Stop prioritizing how he may or may not feel over your own needs and get it done!
He's scared and hurt and confused, and she's not communicating with him at all. Just leaving him completely in the dark to fester.
I have severe anxiety. I am still able to tell my partner “Hey, I'm really struggling with my anxiety right now, I need X”
This – at this stage of the game it should be extremely visible on the test. Go to the store, buy an EPT and take the darn test. The blood test will confirm but at least you will know today.
I thought you said she only wants to sit around and look at TikTok
because I've had cats ripped from me because of poor relationships before
Have you considered that it might be best to STOP getting animals until you are in a stable, long-term relationship?
I'd suggest extricating yourself from this relationship – your biggest issue isn't the kitten obviously – and get yourself into therapy. Not a new relationship, therapy.
We all have to online our lives, as of such we all have to be a certain degree of selfish. The word has a bad rep, but you NEED to put yourself first in many situations and this sure as hell is one.
Use the money for the trip to find yourself a new place to online. It’s just the start
I think you should never give it to him again. This is sexual coercion and is abuse. Me and my husband have sex -not just me giving him head with nothing in return- only about once a week due to kids and work schedules. There's no right number other than what you are both comfortable with, and by this I mean both of you are yes's. If either of you are no's it should be dropped. He can feel sad or disappointed about it but he shouldn't be doing this.
OP’s GF sounds like some one who’s been sucking energy from people her entire life. That’s not exactly an easy behavior to unlearn, as it’s probably been her personality for years.
I dated some one who was very similar, roughly 5 years ago at the same age. Two years of talking about it without blaming her, as well as counseling made absolutely zero difference. People like this are toxic and thrive off of the drama they create, while also feeding off of everyone else’s drama.
OP is better off leaving the situation, otherwise he’ll be in a position where he feels resentful and mentally exhausted. After trying to help my gf for 2 years and nothing changing, I ended up falling asleep each night while fantasizing about the possibility of being far away from her for extended periods of time. It was a comfort for me to think about it.
OP needs to cut his losses before he even gets to that point. My ex and her friends are still exactly the same. People like this (imo) don’t actually change. They online for the drama.
Thank you for this wisdom. I’m so sorry but I appreciate you sharing. It’s helpful.
Well, he fcked around and found out. Please update when he’s gone/gone
I’m leaving him
Am country, cannot confirm. Good luck if you have kids with him and the boys can only do X and the girls Y.
Dude sounds like a manchild nightmare.
But still feel like I need to try and salvage the relationship if I can.
Why?