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Yeah, sounds like the whole workplace culture there is flirtatious. That is usually a recipe for trouble….
A friend of mine had 2 kids before 25 and then came home from daycare one day and found him making out with a 20 year old on their sofa.
It's been 4 years for her now, but we caught up recently and she's convinced it was the best thing he could ever have done for her. By her account he refused to help out with the house or kids, and would drive to sleep at his buddies' houses several hours away on the weekends leaving her by herself. She said she was basically a single mother for a year or two before they broke up lol. Now she finished nursing school and when I caught up with her last she told me that while times were though she at least knew that she had already had the kids she wanted and they'll be grown basically when she is leaving her 30's so she has a whole life ahead of her to enjoy, and more time to get to know her kids over her lifetime.
So while it probably sounds weak coming from a stranger, I'm just writing to let you know that you have your whole life ahead of you. Best of luck.
They exist and are out there waiting for you to find and connect with them…
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I'm pretty sure OP sexualizes lesbians because it's super very hot of that but his girlfriend reading gay men? Oh no his masculinity is broken since she said a character reminds her of him. If it's just the submissive part- then don't be lazy in sex and actually rotate around or for once be the dominant one.
I personally have read some yaoi years ago. It wasn't for the guys being a couple, I enjoyed the cute plot of them getting jealous over every little thing. I do remember a STRAIGHT male friend of mine saying yaois tend to have good plot or something like that. So OP's girlfriend could be reading them for the actual story and not to be super into the yaoi aspect. Just throwing that out there a bit.
My guess is that she either is butthurt that you ended the thing you had which she wanted to continue or she just does it to spite you. Saying something that is not true is called a lie, it is not that hot…
Wait. You watch lesbian porn, but think it's weird she's into gay porn? Are you joking or are you actually dumb?
You also realize you can be like a person that happens to be gay without it implying you like to suck cock you dipshit?
Jesus you're the exact kind of person that says “I don't hate gays, I just don't want those Queers around my kids giving them ideas!”.
Like I could understand if she started like making you try to dress like the character and then kept asking to let her peg you or some shit, but the poor girl just said you reminded her of a character she likes.
You gonna throw fists with a kid that says you're like a character from a kids show they watch next?
I feel like you would have broken up with Aish anyway. You obviously still were pining for Sarah. Donāt make a mountain out of a mole hill. The break up sounds like it was pretty mutual anyway. You chose Sarah over your friendship with Aish. Accept the loss, write it off to the game of life, move forward, and maybe be more honest in the future.
Someone could be laughing whilst punching you in the face. The laughter just shows that THEY don't give a shit, it is unrelated to whether or not you should be comfortable with the action.
Send her this post and let her read it process it and digest it and then proceed with paperwork and talk about living arrangements.
As her SO you should always be given the opportunity to dance with her FIRST.
after that you and her need to discuss what is a comfortable boundary for you both
Relationship scammers are a thing. They hook people into thinking there could be a relationship or there is a relationship but they constantly need money for bills, food, gas, etc.
Are there some people seriously struggling financially who truly just need $50 from a loved one? Yes. But typically this is a scam and they arenāt into you, they are into your stupidity.
Your boyfriend's reasoning is coming from a place of extreme trauma, and I don't think he's going to budge on this. But I also don't think he's being fair or rational by asking you to cut off your friend because of this. It sounds like your bf is in desperate need of a therapist if he isn't seeing one already, but if you're forced to choose between the two I'd probably advise you to pick the one who isn't demanding you cut loved ones out of your life based on one bad decision.
It's a pretty universal theme, whether parents or ex partners. It happens quite a bit.
Ask him for the link. Heās either lying or you can see with your own eyes he didnāt tell the true story.
Will do. Thanks!
Info: what caused him to get locked up for 20 (+????) Years? Yoy say he was a kid (but he was in his 20s when it happened) so I'd really like to know what kind of “harmless” thing he did
I'm glad he have someone he can rely on this, I think I just need to sleep more so I will be a better partner for her. I do hope also he will find a way to make a bit more time for you so you be more here for him
Do you really think this is even worth saving? This level of insecurity is beyond toxic in a relationship, she needs therapy. Iād move on and cut your losses, this isnāt fair to you in the slightest
Well it does sound like they could be on the spectrum if it's really very hot to get the point across.
I had this problem with me ex husband. He had a thing for like, cartoon sized breasts on older women. I was late 20ās, thin as a rail, and barely a B cup. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was a huge stressor. He also had a porn addiction with erectile dysfunction. When he left me, I was neck deep in anorexia and bulimia, and diagnosed with major depressive disorder with suicidal ideation. Iām not saying youāll end up like meāIām a severe case. It will chip at you over time if your self esteem is vulnerable.
If the relationship is worth saving, go to a licensed therapist for couples counseling. There are many who specialize in porn addiction in relationships. If you feel this is too much, you know what to do. Breakups fucking suck, but time, space, and solid support will get you through it. I promise.
Imma ignore it. Decision made. Thanks for being so nice ?
When I was really young my dad used me as an excuse to cheat on my mom. He then threw us out on xmas day, his family destroyed us and we were left homeless for 6 months. Then a year later he tells me āI would pick my gf over some kid any day.ā THEN he sold my identity to someone in Los Angeles. I disowned and cut him off. IF I were to ever decide to talk to him again it would ONLY be to tell him how much of a waste of space he is and want to know why he did what he did and if he made ANY excuses at all I would walk out without hesitation. If your son feels the same way to you as I feel towards my dad, my best suggestion for you would be to answer his questions directly, honestly and without excuses or beating around the bush. No BS at all! And follow, donāt take the lead, donāt expect a hug, donāt expect any form of openness and donāt expect him to call you mom. He may only be there for closure and that may be the last time you see him again.
I used to get this way when I was college age. Then I got married and guess what? It doesnāt matter. Heāll have a ton to tell you when heās back. Not everyone is the same in regards to how they communicate. To have a successful relationship you have to learn that. Itās literally only 2 weeks. My husband in often away and unable to have his phone and I almost enjoy it. Learn how to comfort and love yourself before getting upset that he wonāt.
Lmao that was one of the things I said āthatās just weird to say about your momā
Lol You have āstandards and confidence and can leave anybodyā yet are worried n hurt that a dude who used you and tried to steal your car wont answer your calls because you āmiss himā ? Make it make sense!
Be honest, that's how you can really tell if she is YOUR wifey material š
This! Surprised no one else mentioned therapy, the fact that he wants to help you and offers to pick you up is not controlling and it does not mean you are not independent. It just means he cares for you
Every time.
Donāt both go on a mortgage until youāre actually married.
Like honestly jesus.. any woman that can support a man just abandoning a child… i cannot say i have any respect for her or him.
Im sorry OP lost her baby i am.. but that has nothing to do with this innocent child. If he believes she isnt his he can take damn paternity test and prove it and move on.
Bt to just pretend the child doesn't exist is cruel and makes him an absolute piece of crap.
Doesnāt work that way. ?
I'm going to bring up these points with him later.
I'm not worried about him trying to flirt with this girl or something. I trust him about that and am pretty sure he won't try to hit on other people.
But he can be very childish, callous and unfiltered about all kinds of human interactions. Often it makes him come across as good-humored, easygoing and honest, but sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. But then I worry maybe I'm the one who's too uptight and anti-social.
If I ask him to be not callous, he tends to completely shut down and be like “now I don't know what to say at all”. I find that really frustrating.
So really the reason is just that he sucks and is crazy.
That's presumptious…
He might not be aware or knowledgeable about prenups and might not have considered going down that avenue. Also, he has valid reasons for concern considering around 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce or separation and not considering the consequences of the outcome of 50% of marriages would be naive at best…
He's not asking for a pre-nup. He just said nup.
There is zero reason why a court would give custody of a child to your husband. His brother was not the girls father, and he wasn't married to the kids mother, so there is zero reason why she would go to your custody instead of someone she is actually related to.
That being said, if your husband for some reason tries to fight to get custody of this kid, then that will be the end of your marriage. You can't have a Childfree life when you have a child.
Please research asexuality and the ace community, maybe it will resonate with you.
Another thing
PLEASE DON'T FORCE YOURSELF TO GET TO THOSE NUMBERS, SEX IS SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD ENJOY, everyone is different and has different needs,
My biggest concern is that you arenāt fully decided. Have you talked about where you both see this relationship headed? Thatās important. Would it help if your boyfriend spoke with your mom? Tell her his intentions are honorable? Best case would be living with boyfriend and mom being accepting of that. Is there any way you can see that happening without an official engagement?
Even if a child is conceived of love, it doesnāt mean both of you are ready to bring a child into the world. Raising a child is expensive. Insurance, cost of daily care (diapers, formula,etc) and mentally itās tiring (lost of sleep, balancing your own life and more).
Was he flirty with you?
Some woman want commitment up front, you want to get to know a woman first before committing, to some it would appear that you just don't want to commit and if you have slept with her may be seen as a player/scumbag. My advice when dating a woman if after 4 months you don't see herself getting to know you on a deeper level just write her off as not being what you want and cut them lose/be only a friend. If you are getting intimate with a woman under the guise that if they push the right buttons and get to “know you on a deeper level”, without any actual intention to do so, and without properly communicating what that entails, then she would be correct you are a scumbag.
I am going to make changes, even if he doesnāt want to continue dating me.
Break up with her. If you are really doing well, get her an apartment and pay for it through birth, unless you want baby to have better bonding with both parents then wait 3 months post birth. Gave a paternity test done when the baby is born. Discuss a co-parenting plan and consult an attorney to get one in writing. Donāt let this child suffer if itās yours because you and her made bad choices.
Sheās pretty awful as a person. But honestly, in spite of you writing the post, you donāt come across so great either.