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in the words of a wise man…YOLO
My husband went to a 2 yr trade school and he makes almost double what I make and I went to and graduated from a University (with a double major) AND it took me over ten years to pay off my student loans while he had none. So no to me it doesn’t matter as long as my partner is contributing financially
when it comes to teens dating teens, my libe of thinking is as long as yall could have been in high school together it's fine. you're only one grade above her, don't worry too much bud.
Yeah, this is a problem with her, not you.
I hope that you can understand where so many people are coming from in these comments. You spoke about a single incident so we can't be sure, but often in these age gap relationships there is a lot of financial/emotional abuse and control happening from the older to the younger. We are concerned for you and for your child, and I can personally say that i hope you can make and execute an exit plan safely and get therapy and have a better life. You do not exist just to work to pay bills and die. I obviously don't know where you live! but I'm sure there are resources available to you if you can begin to look for them. My heart is with you.
Women are taught over and over to not date older guys because they'll be manipulated or abused.
I want to live! in your world. I was certainly never taught that. Most relationships I knew besides my own parents had age gaps of 5+ years. It was definitely normalized. My first boyfriend was 23 when I was 18 and no one said a peep about the age difference. Even now, my 19 year old cousin is in a relationship with a 29 year old man and no one cares. “Girls mature faster than boys” is a common refrain.
I had a coworker when I was 16 whose mom really tried to push her to seduce our 32 year old manager because he could give her a good life.
I'm glad you grew up in a community where age gaps are recognized as a red flag. But please understand that your experience is not universal. Many women don't get that.
He knows. He doesn't give a shit. He wanted to invrease his number. Now he did that and he can go back to “normal”. Don't waste your time with him. Just block him and move on. If he keeps harassing you, tell him to stop the harassment or you'll get a restraining order.
It makes you a misogynist because you’re refusing to listen to her when she told you she isn’t happy about this event. You have decided that she’s wrong, period, end of discussion.
Your parents may forgive you with time, you now need to work on yourself .
You just gotta do it. Try to set yourself up for some success this time to not feel sad enough to go back. Reach out to friends or do what you think will help you cope.
No, he’s fine with me going to grab dinner or something. I also went out with my friend to help her find a dress for a work gala & was gone for about five hours, he was ok with that too. It seems to just be this specific setting that’s his issue even though I haven’t given him an reason to make him doubt me.
i totally agree.
How is fur in a bag unhygienic if it's in a sealed ziplock?
He'd hate me, I live! in an apartment so when my pet rats die I put them in the freezer until I can take them to my parents' to bury them. I double bag them neatly in ziplocks but they're still a whole dead animal in there lol. My husband isn't the biggest fan of this but I refuse to just put them in the rubbish, they were my babies, they deserve to be buried properly.
He’s not that into you. If he wanted to spend time with you and include you in his life, he would. You’re wasting your time in a deadend relationship. You very well may be the side chick. I don’t see why you would need to confirm to end it. This is not a real relationship. Stop wasting your time.
Classic abusive behaviour.
Why should you care what an abuser says about you? All of those words are just a control tactic to MAKE you feel bad- and every time he uses those types of terms you should laugh because it’s him being desperate and pathetic and trying to control you.
It’s good that he broke up with you, you deserve better.
Ask your husband if there was ever a situation in which he found it necessary to share a bed with his sister/cousin/mother if he would consider it acceptable for you to assume he fucked her.
It is so inane to think every man wants to fuck every woman in his life, and vice versa. This is very telling about him. Either that is exactly what he experiences every day, and maybe has followed through, or he's incredibly immature.
I mean you don’t have to tell everyone the real reason you’re not going. Plenty of reasons you could come up with. Seems like there’s a clear reason your bf doesn’t trust these people. Seems like the guys are going on the trip to potentially fuck Hannah. When one of them does are the other two just gonna sit there? Or would they try and go after the friend. That’s what your bf is thinking
Thank you so much! I can’t believe it’s never occured to me before. I guess I rely too much on validation but maybe somethings don’t need to get validated.
You didn’t sign up to be the mom of two. Couples therapy and/or time for a separation. Above all – TALK TO HIM.
It just sounded weird him saying that before breaking his arm. I figured the punching his face in was a lesson. Idk. Hey everyone’s family can get crazy
It's quite the mess. I would just dump them and go specially since he's been staying the night there so often. Highly doubtful they're not having sex she says she's pregnant so they're probably having unprotected sex so if she's not pregnant she's going to be. I'm assuming she's taken a test and she is pregnant but it doesn't mean it's his child. But I would tell him you two should take a break until he knows what's going on and leave it at that and move on. I wouldn't want to be involved in that mass that's for sure.
Ever since the great tomato famine everyone has had to watch refilling the plate with more ketchup.
You’re not ready for an adult relationship if these questions have you this riled up. They are questions anyone your age looking for a relationship will be asking.
Also I ain’t having sex with anyone who gets annoyed at me asking when the last time you had an STI test. You’re a grown ass man, tou shouldn’t be in your feelings about someone you had sex with asking about your sexual health
Thank you for the advice. I haven't dated much in my life, and he said that I was childish for expecting a man to go without sex. Since I haven't had much experience, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't being unreasonable. I do try to show him I love him by cooking meals, buying him things, etc. But he says men only feel loved when they're having sex.
It's 6 months in only, come on, just break up.
If you can't talk about your desires so she can make an informed decision, it's best to at least allow her to find someone who'll stay committed to her only.
What would you advice me?
I would advise you to stop taking extremely trivial issues that have virtually nothing to do with you and trying to blow them up into major problems. The gym thing was thoroughly explained to you and you ignored every rational comment so you could only reply to the other paranoid, insecure weirdos. Now you're doing it again with this post, complaining about a nothingburger and not engaging with any responses except the one guy that seems as paranoid and insecure as you do.
Your dad definitely has some issues.
She just doesn't wanna say prostitute
Honestly wish they had taught this in school, I learned a few of these lessons a bit later than idve liked to
We had agreed that she would try to get some information from from an event organizer a few days ago and the organizer said they'd get back soon. The event is today and my partner messaged me saying she hasn't heard back yet. And I asked if she'd followed up and she responded saying “I just texted them” – after I asked if she had followed up.
At that point I said “I'd like you please be more proactive with such things going forward. Please try these things at least 1 more time.” (referring to following up) at which point she said “it feels like you are directing me and giving orders” There is more of a back story to this comment and other similar instances where we found out she had a kidney infection and that she needed to get to the emergency unit and I suggested that she check her insurance to see if it was still valid (shes in the middle of provider change and whether she would be covered for the trip). She called the provider and only checked whether it was still active.
There have been more similar events and in general I'm finding she's unable to do the things thoroughly and I really need her to be more proactive about these things as it end up affecting both of us.
To clarify, its not like I off load everything on to her. I also take a decent amount of the shared work on and I'm not saying I'm perfect – but going back to the original question — is it really an order / demand to say those things?
Sounds like she actually came over for weed…
Some decisions are made from the gut – the offer is made, you know that it's the wrong move for you & you say No immediately. It is what it is. He wasn't necessarily wrong for that. Yes, he should have told you about the call and his decision asap after it was done.
My question would be focused on WHY he couldn't tell you. What is your relationship dynamic that he could not bring this life-altering decision to you? Was it you? Or is it something in him?
We’ll he first thing you do is get tested for STDs and you do NOT have sex with her until the results are back
I would dump her. She's 35 and still playing games. That's too much.
You made your boundaries clear and she lied 3 times.
She not only lied 3 times, but she also had this man hanging out with you being all buddy-buddy. I promise you, she's enjoying the dynamic of being the girl with 2 guys she can string along.
Reminder, boundaries don't mean shit to anyone if YOU don't follow through on the consequences when they've been crossed.