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Legally speaking there is some truth to this. That said, this is not a legal arguement. They are both money funding a shared family that he sees as one big family unit and she doesn't. That is no longer apples and oranges. It's a sundamental look at how they both view their family. She has a stepchild and 2 biokids. He has 3 children. It is not the same.
Now you're being ridiculous but do carry on with the false equivalence.
So by your logic, her kid has herself and the bio father to contribute. So they can do that for “their” child and OP doesn't need to. That's what you're proposing right? Why is he the only one who needs to be “fair”?
It's okay to leave him. He decieved you and he's lied to you on repeat. You need a partner in life that actually shares the same goals as you and you deserve to have that. Obviously your boyfriend doesn't share your goals and vision for the future. This doesn't make you a gold digger, he just isn't trustworthy and has shown his true colors.
Don't feel pressured by a timeline. Many women have children well into their 40's. It will happen for you but you really need to be with someone you are actually compatible with and who won't lie to you like this.
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Honestly therapy and medication have saved my life. Therapy first and then meds to help me implement what I learnt in therapy.
I still have periods of depression and anxiety but I know they aren’t going to last forever, and I can get out of it.
I also learned to stop caring about the whole “mental illness” stigma and am now open with people about how I can be and just straight up say I can be flakey sometimes, it’s never personal and I’ll be honest when it’s happening instead of stressing and trying to come up with reasonable excuses. It’s incredibly freeing and helps stop the stress spirals. I highly recommend it 😉
And it has an added bonus of getting your friends and family to feel safer opening up themselves, and anyone who drops me because of it weren’t real friends anyway.
I knew a girl who's boyfriend did this to her, her sister, their mutual friends. He was taking their photos off Insta and sending them out to other dudes who would do tributes just a whole network of weirdos I don't know why he did it or what he got from it.
Most counties don't have laws with this stuff but it could be classified as revenge****
The girls who were in the photos took him to court to get restraining orders but I think that's all that happened; his ex didn't want to take it further but she probably could have since she was the main target
I think it depends largely on your motivations for wanting to tell him in the first place.
Do you want to tell him because you want to remain open and honest with him and make sure you can mutually support each other in the future? Or do you want to tell him because you hope this will make him change his behaviour or try extra very hot to get on your parents' good side?
If it's the former, then I think you should absolutely go ahead an tell him, of course while stressing that you have always had his back with them and will continue to defend him. However, if your main goal is to make him act differently in front of your parents, then you should probably think twice about how much you actually have his back.
As a side note, it doesn't sound like your parents really dislike your boyfriend as a person, it just sounds like they don't approve of him as a potential future son-in law. That's likely not something he can change either way, at least not right now, and I think this is something both you and him need to remember.
Because it *IS* that way. You need to dump this abusive jerk.
No and no, be direct. “He is not and will not be interested in you, I'm sorry and also we will not be setting you up again, please don't ask.”
Also, never ever do this for her again, she's got some shit to work out for herself first.
38 and he was interested in a 21 year old? First massive red flag. I know young people tend to be flattered by an older person's attention and it's quite normal. However it is not normal for an older person to go after someone so young. I am 38, trust me: you will never be mature enough or smart enough to be in a healthy relationship with someone my age. You've not lived much at this stage.
You moved in after 2 months? Second red flag. If a relationship is worth it then there is not need to move fast, you have your whole life to do things.
You were the other woman: that's not a red flag, you should have left, period. No amount of crocodile tears should have made you stay.
This is the moment you need to prove your character, values and boundaries. Do you want to excuse such a behaviour? Really?
Move on, block him and let him deal with whatever. He is not worth it.
Looks like a few comments incoming but they all show as deleted! Not sure what the issue is with Reddit here
I'm a little scared for you. He seems off to me. Leaving is such a dangerous time for women. If I were you, I would delete this post, don't tell him anything, find a killer divorce attorney, and don't tell him you're gone until you've left. Please be really careful OP.
You can't push string.
You’re being petty. This is your SIL best friend, has been for ages. She lives with SIL and BIL. ONS has been a part of the family longer than you have, she’s not just some rando that hangs out. Get over it. It was one night that he probably really regrets, especially since you won’t let him forget about it.
The average penis is 5inches so, she’s either a liar or just a cruel b****
Oh no. I'm not buying this, “doing it to protect her.” He's doing it because he wants her period. How you cannot see that is strange. I bet you money you'll see his car parked a block away from her apartment. His wife is naive and you though, you need to get a spine. You're acting like Oh, well. Are you serious? You're not going to stand up for yourself? You think not introducing your next girlfriend to your brother is going to stop him from getting to her? Also, your girlfriend just taking his word and breaking it off so easily is sus to me.. She obviously saw no signs of relapse and you guys had a great relationship and all of a sudden she's like welp, I believe your brother, not you.. Come on now… You need to get a spine dude. What you went through, I would be damn proud of you and boost you up not tear you down to people..
You're not “dating” someone with whom you cannot go on dates. You're talking to this person – maybe a lot, maybe about very intimate things, maybe about sexy things, maybe you have come to know him very well – not dating him.
I'm not saying this to be a jerk or complain about kids these days changing language. The meaning we use these words to represent is important, and the problem you're having is a demonstration of why: of course you haven't told your social circle that you're dating someone you're not actually dating, because you're not actually dating; of course you want to see evidence that your (intimate?) chat buddy is making steps toward actualizing your relationship in reality, taking it seriously, before telling people about it; for that matter, of course you want to see some sign that this person is going to be able to function as a partner in a relationship before pouring your limited resources into trying to make this relationship turn into something more than chatting online. If you recognize that you are not actually dating this person but would like to be, and you need to see some sign that he would also like to move things in that direction (and is willing to do some of the work necessary, because you have a much higher logistical and financial bar to clear than if you lived in the same place), I think it will both clarify for you what is actually going on and help you decide what you want to do next.
Get some help, get a life, quit cyber stalking your exes. Fucks sake dude.
There really isn't many options here for you. You either pick the Instagram account or the Boyfriend. Pick wisely.
Let’s breakdown what happened.
So you’re asleep. Unable to move as someone who is having sex. Unable to have a conversation. Unaware of what’s going on.
He didn’t see how any of those things are necessary for having sex with your partner. He didn’t want any of those things. If he did, he would’ve woken you up. If he cared to have you involved, he absolutely would’ve woken you up.
…But he didn’t because you were just an object. You were just a way to get off.
Im so sorry babe. It’s rape.
I would absolutely talk to someone about it. While there’s some great comments and everybody seems to unanimously agree, actually talking about it helps you cope.
and it’s you want to get a group of people together to kick his ass, just let us know.
So it's a timing issue. You each haven't had enough time to decompress (to heal) after the last relationships you were in.
I would suggest a breakup with the option of reconnecting later. Maybe 6 or 9 months. It will be important that you have no intentional contact during that time, but after it's over, you can agree to reconnect and test the waters then.
Just be prepared for what this mean. It could turn out that you meet nobody in all that time and when you reconnect, he could be with someone else, or vice versa. In any case, it gives you what you both need (time to get over past relationships), without losing all hope that you will lose each other. But after 6 or 9 months, losing each other won't be so bad. Hopefully.
I would do this too. He is essentially stalking you. Stalkers are generally not sane people. The police might want to have a chat with him
We’ll never know whether it was the cancer or the treatment that ultimately killed my Dad. Did a bone scan and there was cancer in his marrow, had to wait months for his chemo (that was dealing with other metastases) to clear out of his system, did the new treatment that’s supposed to target the cancer in his bones, rescanned and there was very little marrow left. Died because he couldn’t make blood cells anymore. It had been prostate cancer before it metastasized.
Talk to your dad and tell him about her odd behavior. Then ask if you can move in. Then get a lawyer and file for a divorce and ask for a restraining order from her. Your job is to protect your child even if your husband doesn’t agree.