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That’s fair. Or boyfriends
I’ll get more boyfriends to fuck with her head
Weird that you compare showing off nipple piercings to necessary doctors check ups.
Even weirder that this thread is “No big Dealing” and demonizing OP for him not being comfortable with his partner showing her tits to another person simply because it happens to be another woman??
I personally wouldn't care if my gf did it, but reddit completely disregarding the boyfriend's boundaries is WIIIIIILD. It wasn't a doctor's visit. She didn't have a wardrobe malfunction, she SHOWED HER TITS/NIPPLES. If OPs boyfriend got a King Arthur and showed his woman friend, it's crazy how vastly different these comments would be.
There is a clear cut gender bias in this subreddit, and it's toxic as fuck.
Girl you’re ten years older than her. She will never accept you, more than likely. She thinks you’re a joke.
WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR SELF-RESPECT DUDE…LEAVE HER AND GET SOMEONE BETTER
Not you again with this nonsense
The best way for him to feed his brain is to get a job and get out of the house. He’s overcompensating and basically being a pain the ass because he has nothing to do.
Yea Iv never said a bad word to her I’m always polite etc and she can be sometimes but it’s rare but that’s fine
It was how many times she said ‘well done’ I get it i got a job but it’s only a bar job in spoons that’s what I don’t get
Oh hey I thought about that a lot before. But how exactly, like in which aspects, do you think this connects?
What would you want, if you were in her shoes? I would want to know, if it were me.
I have.
That’s not how probabilities work. It’s 1 in 77ish each time. It’s not a cumulative effect. If you’re betting 50-50 on heads and tails, even if you get 30 straight heads in a row with all else being equal and no shifty business, your likelihood is still 50-50 for the next one
I can somewhat see both sides, as I had a guy admit his feelings before while I was with another and honestly its super awkward to handle.
I can see where she comes from. To her its just a friend (that we know) and she just doesn't want to lose her friends. Especially so with you being away more then you are there. But! I don't think its unreasonable for you to not be comfortable with them being friends anymore. You cant trust him is what it boils down to, and his motives for their friendship.
If she can't respect your boundaries and wants to keep being close with that guy, she is causing both pain. I say it as someone who….was in her shoes and also wanted to keep my friendship. I saw how it hurt and ruined my friendship instead keeping around the friend while with another… it would hurt him as much as you simply because she is, probabpy unmeaning to be, selfish in wanting to keep both there. It doesn't usually end well, these situations.
But her labeling you as the selfish one for not wanting to constantly wonder what the guy is gonna do is just wrong…like there is compromises that couldve been made here. She just took the nuclear path and ran off. Which is a red flag in itself, not to mention that she couldn't be truthful and open about them hanging out, her gaslighting you to think its you being unreasonable, and over all just seeming like she is hiding something by getting so defensive.
To be honest, her leaving saved you a lot of pain and arguments later. If she is picking her friend over her partner that quick, it saved you from finding out way later at least…
what do you want him to do? I would have no fn clue. Talk to him.. ask him. I'll bet he'll support you if you teach him how. If he refuses.. then that means he doesn't care. If he accepts and supports you, then you know he's just dense…. and that's not always a deal breaker on it's own.
The double standard is true though, you see on here quite often a man has depression, starts doing bare minimum and the girlfriend is always told that his mental health isnt her problem its on him to fix, if he is not doing his job around the house to dump him and kick him out and find better, but when its a women we are told to baby them and stick it out because of marriage vows, but the other side is always told to ignore the vows and leave.
I agree she needs therapy, and OP enabled her but he cant force her into therapy she actually needs to want it and i would guess she is happy sleeping and being on her phone having no responsiblities.
It sounds like he has talked to her and like the post says she turns it around on him and blames him for everything. He can try again but i would bet he gets the same bullshit responses and is blamed and critized for even thinking of an ulitmatum.
Truth is i am a POS or asshole whatever words people want to use to discribe me, i have accepted who i am and im honest about it i dont need to better myself because its not worth the time to. You can polish a turd but its still a turd so why bother you know ?
I just got breakfast in bed because today's my birthday. I'm consistently appalled at what the women here put up with: men have hands and eyes (probably) so, yes, they can do the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, and the cleaning. They choose not to because somehow too many women agree to exclusively do all of that.
Set the standards immediately on moving in together. Be prepared to leave if he doesn't meet them. An I love you once or twice a week is not a fair exchange for decades of domestic servitude probably while working a paid job as well!
Thankyou for your feedback,
I suffered from a psychosis from drugs for 2-3 years so for a really long time in the relationship i couldnt sleep at her house because of it. Also she is very timid and i can be stubborn so she felt like i was “walking over her” in arguments and she didnt have an opinion. She basically didn’t communicate about this for months (i don’t understand why) and it “exploded” in her head.
She put on a mask because she didn’t want to hurt me but because of those things she felt uncomfortable in the relationship and saying things like “i love you”.
She is an insanely stressfull person and can make every problem super big in her head, i always have to calm her down but she didn’t communicate this so i couldnt fix it/fix the problem.
Eventually when i found out my self, the drama started of she not feeling good in the relationship wirh me and me not knowing wtf was happening.
I basically fixed all the things she had problems with in the relationship and she kept on adding more and more things out of the blue wich i also fixed.
Basically i had a fulltime job of fixing small little things that she wanted me to change ab my self or our life. Literally, everything, is, fixed, rightnow.
I felt like her love was not unconditional & after fixing everything she still felt that way so i told her i needed a break & showed her my worth, i was sick n tired of all the drama. She instantly realised after those 2 weeks why she loves me and that she does love me & all the drama dissapeared??
Idk its super weird & her mind works like a rollercoaster at times.
Now everything is healing, especially me because of the way she handeled the situation. But she feels like the whole future thing is coming back slower than she hoped.
What do u think of this?
Leave him alone. It’s already been a month and reaching out could cause more distress for him than just staying silent.
You're driving him to work EVERY DAY and he has the audacity to criticize how you're doing it? What a fucking loser.
I want to ask because I think it may be relevant – how long have you guys been together?
I think the fact you only been together 3 months is not what i would call long term and serious. To expect money at this point is weird. Maybe if you were married or been together for years, but that is embarrassing even if it is an emergency to seek money to someone of only 3 months, when there is other family members or friends.
My mom is very supportive, just not affectionate!
Updateme!
We have been out a lot together and it's usually fine, 99% it is fine. But obviously not 100% of the time.
My overall life is a bit empty, I have my work that's ok and my partner.
Wow you nearly made it half a year before fucking someone else. Truly, you are the hero here
On top of that she said she ain't looking for a relationship at the moment. Isn't that literally throwing money in the drain, only just to prove I ain't broke?
babe, what do you mean “B.O.”? that’s just my alpha scent.
Women cost you in money, attention, and time. It sounds like maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship right now. They take a lot of effort and time.
Do not EVER cave on this. His poop stews are DISGUSTING and HE is wrong!!!
Just talk with him.
Tell him how you’re feeling.
What you want moving forward.
read you comment about how when you asked to met him he bailed on the whole thing, he had date intentions on this “dinner” and was probably shooting his shot with your gf. Once you were going he realized he couldnt do that and cancelled. He clearly was trying to build something more then a friendship, the whole my relationship is bad, lets go talk, lets go for dinner, pity me bs is so commonly used by people trying to seduce others its really sad
You have the right attitude. Good on you for being so mature about it all. Some people apparently can’t figure out how to be adults, apparently. With appropriate boundaries, exes can surely still be friends as you absolutely figured out. Good on you!
My husband is still cordial with his ex-wife of 15 years – in fact, his ex is engaged and we are going to their wedding this fall. It CAN work out that way if people are actual grown-ups with respect.
Actually, there was a lot of shit.
I’m confused why an actual sociopath/psychopath would disclose what they were. Power play, maybe? What would he have to gain from telling the mother in law what he was. Maybe he’s so confident in his manipulation over OP, he doesn’t feel the need to hide who he is/his intentions anymore
He doesn't have a job… Is there any valid reason for this? If he doesn't have a job then there's no way for him to be saving up money to buy the apartment. He says he wants to move out but is making no action. It seems like he's saying things but makes no action to actually improve his situation.
I'm sorry but if u moved into an apartment with him you would be paying 100% of the bills and he'd be jobless at the apartment smoking.
It's very common for men to be asymptomatic. If you've ever had oral sex or any other kind of sex, you should still get tested. You absolutely should not ditch the condom unless you are in an exclusive relationship, have both been tested, and have discussed the plan for if BC fails.
But at the end of the day, the only way for you to take complete control of your own sexual health is to use condoms. Otherwise, the responsibilities and big decisions all fall on her shoulders.
Perhaps it is best that you asked. You seem to have been ignoring a pretty big issue and his answer has made that difficult.
Dude's already planning out your entire lives and he's telling you right now that you don't get a say. He did you a favor by letting it all out now. You dodged a bullet.
For real love, you don’t have to do any of that. You are perfect just the way you are. Now getting a job and being productive is important. But you never have to change yourself. He’s not your person.
My husband Co parents with his ex. They communicate all the time, and sometimes they hug. However they feel about their marriage, they still have shared history and a child.
Prepare to be a single mother. This relationship is doomed either way.
Expecting your husband to refrain from boring you to death isn't unreasonable.
Wanting to talk AT you when he knows youre not enjoying it, is weirdly unempathetic.
He should go start a podcast or something.
Put his ass on a pool float in the hallway, then.
Yes, I cant understand why you would ever agree to something like this. But you are free to make that choice.
This guy is just full of lies LOL
I’ve never once heard of anyone doing this. Not once in all my 36 years of living. This is next level pulling wool over your eyes, blowing smoke up your butt.
He is either never planning on getting married to anyone or he doesn’t think you’re the one to settle down with.
Why do you think he’s being this ridiculous?
Thank you I understand.
Maybe he's just the super cheap. He doesn't want to waste money on a real engagement ring unless she'll wear it every day.
You are an adult at 18 in the US….Again though she was still lying about this at >30 years old.
Thank you
there everyone goes excusing the woman and blaming the man. He could've very well been drunk and on drugs as well. she never stated she was taken advantage of so people need to stop assuming such things.
Your ex is a manipulative piece of shit.
This sounds really painful. They sound controlling and entitled and like they don't consider your feelings at all.
You can't really guarantee that she'll let go of this fantasy she has of being your mom.
Maybe you could try seeing your dad's wife, just you two? Ask her about her feelings. Have you asked her why it is so important to her for you to call her mom? Ask her if she'd like to hear about your feelings in the matter, and try to calmly tell her why it doesn't feel right for you.
If you feel like that wouldn't be possible, perhaps you could try some family therapy?
This honestly sounds awful, sending you some love
Then break up with her not tht hot a choice then. Lord