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I think so too. Cheating once is so different to having a full blown affair for so long. He's a chronic liar.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It must be incredibly difficult and painful to discover that your husband has cheated on you. It's natural to feel a wide range of emotions, including shock, anger, hurt, and betrayal. It's important to remember that you are not alone and that there are people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time.
It's okay to feel overwhelmed and not know what to do right now. Take some time to process your feelings and think about what you need in order to move forward. It's important to remember that you are not to blame for what your husband did, and you have the right to decide how you want to handle the situation. It's okay to be angry and to express your feelings, but try to avoid making any decisions that you might regret later.
If you need someone to talk to, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. They can provide you with support and help you work through your feelings. Remember that it's okay to ask for help and to take care of yourself during this difficult time. You are strong and capable, and you will get through this.
It depends on each person and their boundaries.
Sexting and sending and receiving nudes falls under cheating in my opinion.
So would a friendship that would become too close and affect my relationship (emotional cheating).
There are very different forms of cheating, it’s not just about having sex with someone else.
Sounds like Mike needs to be cut off tbh. Dude is being a petty weirdo trying to creep on in
She cheated on him…and betrayed him He should leave her…and there is never a better time than the present
Well no it isn’t a healthy relationship nor has it ever been. He won’t ever truly trust you again and you both will be in a rocky relationship. How did you go from losing feelings months before, cheating and leading him on going to the guy you cheated with to now wanting to be with him again?
Yeah I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but they’re still involved.
You should tell her again that you want her to take them down. She doesn't have to get rid of them though, loads of people keep a memory box for this sort of thing.
Tell her they make you feel insecure, and you're requesting that she respect that and take them down. If she can't respect that then stay very calm, cause zero drama and tell her that it's unfortunate but you cannot be with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries.
You talk to a lawyer and find out what your options are. Go. Go call a lawyer. Now.
I’m the bad guy yet she’s the one who lied and wasted both of our times. Can’t make this shit up.
I can't possibly see how crushing a 10 year old is productive. My 12 year old grandson loves basketball. When he was younger I never went all out on him and many times he won but not always. However I would have him work on any weak points. As a result he still loves playing basketball. Crushing him would have broken him. Your wife loves her son with all her heart and can't bring herself to crush him.
I’m not a chess person, so I wouldn’t know. But I am a doctor with kids, and there have been many occasions where they’ve been sick and I’ve had no idea what to do about it. I either feel like my brain goes blank, or it goes a million miles an hour through every bad thing they could have. I absolutely can’t trust my judgment. I have to call their pediatrician nurse line for help quite frequently. This is despite manning the after-hours pediatric line MYSELF for my clinic! If it’s another person’s kid, I can easily come up with reasonable recommendations. But not my own.
I don't want to jump straight to this, but I'm not seeing anyone mention it. It could be PTSD/ trauma related.
“The Body Keeps the Score” by Van Bessel explains how someone who's been a victim of sexual assault can turn to over eating. The victim can't control what happened to them, but they can control their body weight and how others can perceive them as attractive/ unattractive.
It could also be anxiety eating, or eating for pleasure (in the case of depression).
As someone mentioned earlier, you need to find the root of the problem, whether it is psychological or physiological.
If you're living paycheck to paycheck, you need to budget more strictly, especially for “fun” expenses like food deliveries. (A replacement laptop is also a “fun” expense.)
I would offer to buy her a cheap 2nd-hand laptop for like $100-$200 (then let her reject that idea and source a better one somewhere else), then discuss setting up a stricter budget, with separate accounts for “fun” money, so that she can order food/laptops herself using her fun money, and you can save yours so you can get out of this mess.
Also it might be time to think about what you would do if you broke up – how would life be different? How would you feel?
yeah, the whole situation depends on what was the huge fight was about and boy. the reasoning raise all kind of red flags. it really made me wonder how you got sick. was it a normal thing or was it something you eat, etc.
yeah, if this is a person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, one of the key characteristic is dependability. technically he did took care of you, but to not stick by your side … like i get it. it is a vacation but still. life comes at you hard, you have to be able to adapt and have your priorities straight. his priorities does not seem to be with you.
also, there is a good chance that the reason why he does not want to move in was probably suggested by his friend.
i need to know more about your relationship to make a recommendation to dump him and move on. all i can tell you is that if there is a chance that it is not a done deal, keep in mind that he is wasting your best year.
I think ypu could Google how that STI is transmitted and find out for yourself how likely her story is.
If things don't go well, then at least it allows for both of you to sort out your individual feelings and step away if needed.
It's called informed consent. Key word informed.
Yes of course you are at risk of him cheating again. It's a guarantee. You cannot allow yourself to be marginalized.
No contact.
Same. 50 year old male and have been to dozens of weddings. Never knew this and honestly don’t remember what anyone was wearing at any of the ones I attended. Except my wife at our wedding.
They shouldn't. But if they did choose to stay, they would be better equipped for it than someone with decades less life experience.
And if it is depression? She can’t control having depression but she does control how she handles it. And saying “I’m not changing. Don’t you still love me?” Is a cop out. You never have to stay with someone who refuses to get better. And you shouldn’t
Don't know your SO but let's assume he's somewhat logical – if your statements are correct you've painted a picture where his only value to you was financial stability. If you both entered the relationship with that in mind it's at least not a gut punch. You however apparently didn't convey this, he thought you actually cared about him, but after your comment you didn't even say it's changed – ie early on it was X as our relationship driver for me but I've since seen X,Y,Z aspects of you that I love and are now my foundation. So to him you're a sugar baby and nothing more, his relationship with you is potentially a lot more transactional and he's reliving all the pivotal relationship moments again with this new lens. The question is now can he actually be ok with that. As to him: if you find another provider with more money and he's gone, if you get financial independence he's gone, if your kid aging out also acts as a big one as that's a big expense and once that's paid out the bar for you leaving is much lower. I'd also imagine his trust in would you cheat is shaken cause again, money is your stated driver.
Basically you set fire to your relationship, the burn unit might not be able to save it. Can you honestly have a discussion where you state what your relationship foundation is now assuming it's more than just money, cause if it's still just money then id expect a much colder/transactional future to your relationship.
Ok, so your sister transitioned. Does this mean she has no empathy for her younger sister now? As an older sibling, it isn't that difficult to put together that it would be hurtful to take a gift from someone else. Your sister is trying to rewrite history, as a form of validation, when she ought to be more focused on living her life in a forward manner.
Stepping back, what your sister is confronting is that there are a lot of gender-based traditions that aren't prepared for situations like this. The closest comparable situation would be a previously unknown sibling emerging as the eldest, and demanding recognition for all the traditions that everyone had spent their lives anticipating for someone else. It isn't fair for your sister to expect everyone to conform to her demands using a simple technicality. Rites of passage and other traditions take time to cultivate and engage with. There are ways to address this, but none of it should be expected to resolve quickly.
Your family needs an opportunity to reflect on its traditions, in light of your sister's transitioning. There will be strong feelings, and it will take time to find ways to incorporate your sister into new or modified traditions. I suspect she is struggling with what she “missed out” on, prior to transitioning, and it is manifesting in intense demands for compensation. She needs to come to terms with the fact that she is who she is now through the life she lived before and after she transitioned. Her transition hasn't altered the past, it only opens new opportunities going forward. Be willing to work with her to explore those new opportunities, but be cautious of attempts to invalidate the life you and she shared prior to her transition.
If they stole candy or ran a red light? No. If they sexually prey on children? Uh, yes. And yes I know 18 is ‘technically an adult’ but from a power imbalance perspective that’s an argument made up of semantics people use to justify being a sex pest
Too many lies. Don’t move in with him.
An hour cab, yet, it’s a 5 hour drive? Not discounting that an hour cab would still be a two hour round trip, but the math is not matching…
Is there no way he could actually become better towards me? It's difficult for me to call it abuse, on the other hand he calls my behavior abusive sometimes too. I don't know what to believe anymore.
Of course family units plan what the family is doing together, I feel like you didn't actually read my comment if that's the only response you have. My whole point is that families or individuals are free to operate differently from the groups they camp with, and the groups operate differently from the collective event, and that it is miles easier to organise than micromanaging everyone and everything like OP is trying to do, and you were commenting would go poorly if it did.
And where on earth are you getting that the boyfriend has implied he won't plan his own food? He has said they are all self reliant adults and can take of themselves, I'm quite sure he thinks that himself and OP are also self sufficient, and can organise what they need for the weekend. And I'm also quite positive that when he says “self reliant” he's not conveniently forgetting that he is a human being who needs to eat food, and I don't understand why you're implying he is.
Planning what I, or I and the person I am sharing my tent with, are doing for 3 days of meals is very different from planning what 50 people are doing for 3 days of meals.
So being a pervert is the only thing they can have in common..
Get your fucking mind out of the gutter.
They could be friends from work, school, church, they could have grown up together.
Just because your dads friend is a pervert doesn’t mean that is the only thing about them.
I hope you let your disgusting thoughts about what you think your father will do out to him, so he can disown you for being a fucking disrespectful ingrate.
This has always confused me as well. He does typical Muslim things like Ramadan, but at the same time, he drinks, smokes, and has sex before marriage. I don't know why he does this.