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And its not his responsibility to stay in a dead bedroom situation. No orgasms, he “doesnt need them”? Really? Thats for him only to decide, not for her to expect him to be ok with that.
If he wants to leave, he should leave, and find a partner that matches his needs. We men have needs, why should we be obligated to stay in relationshops that dont fullfill them?
Don't, leave it the past and move on. Nothing comes with being friend with her just a support puppy. Plus she already had bf after you meaning it if it doesn't work with him you'll be be the fall guy, don't be it. Best to you.
For starters I always feel it’s appropriate to pay a percentage of rent equal to what you make. If he’s left with 50% of his paycheck after bills and your left with 10% that’s not fair.
However when picking somewhere to live! if you’re going to split in half, you should always pick a place based on the budget of the person who makes the least.
Your boyfriend doesn’t sound like a very good partner. He’s watching your savings disappear to support day to day life while he’s still capable of contributing to his savings. You are not experiencing the same financial burden and he is making that your fault. He’s also threatening to not put your name on the future house you buy if you can’t contribute equally. Is this really someone you want as a partner?
You make what you make and he makes what he makes. If he isn’t capable of treating you as an equal then it’s not a good relationship to invest in. If he won’t split the cost in a way that you can save to get a house with him, then it’s not a very practical relationship. You already know the outcome if he does not change contribution rates to rent, he will have money saved for a house your name won’t be on. Now is your time to advocate for yourself. Don’t wait around a year hoping it’ll just change.
Nah man I scewed up. I didn't go in for the kiss at the end of the night
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It’s okay bro, I came with the proof and still got downvoted lol
Exactly this. A man can't cling to his parents his whole life.
If your parents keep negging your fiance, and you don't CHOOSE HER, she's smart enough to not waste any more time.
She'll probably leave soon, and no-one would blame her. Why should she wait for someone who can't stand by her side?
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Lie.
Your mom is the worst. That ring symbolizes an unpleasant time in your life, and it's a reminder that both family heirlooms were refashioned and gifted to your sister even though she has no immediate prospect of engagement. Like how does she justify any of that in her mind?
Definitely tell her you've reconsidered, and see if she'll still give it to you. And 100% get it appraised and sell it live! somewhere so you can get your soon to be fiance something that actually celebrates your life together … not some ill fated hand me down after though.. the nerve of some people.
Tbh, sounds like you were better matched with your ex, and now your current fiancé just happens to be the woman you are marrying because now you’re ready to settle down. Unfortunately I have seen this trend with men. They get married to the wrong woman because they want to be married and start a family, but still pine for “the one that got away.”
Honestly? You need to let Sarah go. This isn’t me telling you to confess to Amy, but to mourn what could have been and then find someone better suited for you. This isnt me saying Sarah is a bad person, or has glaring flaws, we all have our own history. This is me saying that you both deserve to be with people you are madly in love with and that also are madly in love with you/Sarah.
This is like the 4th time I have read this shit.
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Okay ngl, boyfriend here sounds. . . Idk, not well? Bordering on delusional? He wasn’t just emotional, he was insanely defensive over. . . A drink? Doesn’t sound like a relationship worth staying in. . .
Yeah I’m aware that’s probably the case.
Thank you for the kind advice. This really helps.
Completely agree with this. Getting her out of the house will help remove the mental barrier
That puts things into perspective. His reasoning for why he didn’t communicate what you said when I asked for his permission is that he cared about me and wanted me to be happy. Maybe there is an internal conflict going on with him too about this situation, but I think things could’ve went a lot smoother if he was transparent with me.
I think a part of him expected me to just know not to talk to her despite his pressuring. But I know that is immature and he should’ve just told me.
It is what it is I guess. Thank you for your advice.
This is the only life you will get and you are not young. When will be the right time to love and appreciate the children you have raised? Now.
I didn’t get along with my mother so I hardly ever went home to hang out with my dad. She had always been a difficult person.
My dad was perfectly healthy then suddenly fell ill. We took him to the hospital and a week later to a hospice. He died 10 days later. I regret the time I lost with him.
Your husband will probably eventually overlook you loving the family you raised. He sounds prideful but his stance is not logical. In such a case my husband would grumble but wouldn’t raise much fuss because I suspect he knows his stance is ridiculous but can’t stand admitting he is wrong.
Do what your heart knows is right. Don’t wait for his permission. Show him the way he ought to treat family.
Your granddaughter is going to grow up without knowing you if you continue to cater to your husbands selfishness.
Previously, you regretted not picking your career over your bf. Despite being sober now, does he still make you regret choosing him over your career? Is he attending therapy, working a job, and acting like a partner to you?
Have you made it clear that if he relapses into a different substance of any sort, that you'd leave him? Currently, due to him being sober & him making more effort, has your relationship improved a lot?
There are a lot of difficult questions that you need to ask. If you can objective enough, try writing a pros & cons list. If the cons list keeps going & and going, but the pros list doesn't, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship.
I hope that once you reach your conclusion, you're able to continue working on yourself and your own happiness.
Ewww you married your step sister, na nana boo boo!
If you can’t except and love her son walk away- his happiness and well being is more important than yours.
Well you leave her if you want be monogamous and she is already dating other dudes you can only leave her.
Find yourself younger girl with no problems like this and without someone's else kids. It's tottaly doable for you and will spare you a lot of problems
I understand poly but sometimes I see the way they comment as if their lifestyle, communication, confidence are superior to others. If you see the type of people who are in those open relationships you can understand why they are like that and why it works for them whether its good or bad. I even knew someone in a poly relationships but they acted like they're the center of it all and expected their five significant others to be their primary and got mad at her partners when they were with their other partners. i also know some that are happy with their set up. poly should be announced at the start of the relationship not in the middle or when it's dying.
I know how hurtful that must be to read that but I wouldn’t give up on this relationship. You found a guy who genuinely loves you! Your looks will fade with age. You have in writing that your guy loves you for you
I’m not trying to leave her. I’m trying to process something that was traumatic to me. That’s why it’s still coming up.
Tell her – the longer you wait, the uglier it becomes.
And be generous and apologetic in the divorce settlement because you failed as a partner and as a person with morals and ethics.
You sound big mad. Not yuck because he wants sex. Yuck because there is something clearly wrong with his wife and he's focused on his lack of sex….
I agree sex is very important in a relationship but his wife isn't into right now. Not sure you've had kids come out of you but it's traumatic. He could jack off. He could put up with the bjs or he could leave. There are options.
It’s wonderful she feels this way about you. As a step mom, I get the bit of awkwardness. If it were me, and she did it again. Casually ask her if she meant to call me that and if she did, make a lighthearted joke about coming up with some dad-ish nicknames to differentiate between me and the bio-dad so that we don’t get confused. Tell her you feel super special that she wants to call you that and see if you two can find a way for her to call you dad without it “competing” with bio dad (because it’s likely to hurt his feelings).
I think he cares about you a lot and he wants to show it in any way possible, you shouldn't overthinking this honestly.
I have to bribe my girlfriend to pick me up after a night out with friends 🙁
Then you judge her by her actions now. What does your gut say? Do you feel like a second choice? Would you feel that way if you hadn’t snooped? You kind of screwed up.
If you're not happy with the direction things are going, put an end to it and find someone who you'd be mire happy with. It's easier to find closer to what you want than believing that you are going to be ae to change someone and make them into the partner you're looking for.
Can you please explain this weird division of labor? The only place I see this on the internet is this sub. Somehow wives have to manage their families, and husbands have to manage theirs. Somehow, it's weirdly inappropriate to cross the streams? I don't get it.
I really think people need to stop being so hung up on this crap.
Who cares really? A wedding should be about celebrating love and the start of a new life.
Is this what you really want to be focusing on right now?
I do chores, however my mother has a very low tolerance for when she thinks it is dirty. Which means she was always be telling us kids something needed to be done.
I kept my home clean when I lived alone for years. My roommate's never complained about me. It was much less stressful than having my mother nag us to clean things all the time.
Sometimes I would get annoyed that my mother seemed like a messy person. When she wasn't home and we had to babysit ourselves as teens. The house barely got messy. Chores we not a nightmare, and there weren't that many.
I'd probably just break up with you rather than be reminded of my crazy mother.
I don't know. I was never there. He's usually drunk or coked out. When I ask him now he says no.
Best answer..
You need to change the title – you have not picked your stuff up from your exes place. I mean, he doesn’t sound kind but your stuff shouldn’t be his problem.
I know that much. Some people call it the honeymoon phase, but I always called it the Smurf phase, because it was the part of the relationship where you had so much sex you were blue in the face.
I wouldn't find this acceptable. Point blank ask him if you're in a relationship or just FWB.
I know you've probably gotten this from other comments, but the situation won't resolve without you drawing attention to it, which is weird and uncomfortable for you. I'll try to prioritize it for you from least uncomfortable to most uncomfortable things for you to do:
Be very firm with your mom. “I can't be around him any more.” Maybe show her this post.
Be firm with her friend. “Even if you don't mean it, that comment is pedophilic. Stop.”
Talk to someone you and your mom both respect and trust. “There's a guy that is hitting on me who's over 40 and it makes me uncomfortable, and my mom is being dismissive and possibly enabling. Please help me talk to her, this isn't normal.”
Talk to someone who has some authority over where you are and what you do, like a principal or teacher, with the same comment as above.
CHEATING IS CHEATING. She did what she did, she knew what was happening, she didn’t stop it. “It’s not as bad because it wasn’t with a guy”, yes it is. It’s no different. So. It is up to you if you want to stay in that marriage. You don’t cheat on someone you love. She isn’t loyal. If you do choose to stay (which would be downright silly), then therapy, boundaries, and no contact with Amanda are all necessary.
SHE WILL NOT DIE IF YOU LEAVE HER. This is just a manipulation tactic cheaters and abusers use to get you to stay with them. If you’re honestly concerned for her life, get her checked into a facility where she can have a nice grippy sock vacation. My advice? Leave, and never look back. You’re young, you can find better, and the amount of time spent in a relationship means absolutely nothing (except the time you’ve WASTED). Leave her and take care of yourself.
You live! in a dangerous position and i would ask my self if i don't get used. She constantly raises her networth woth her income and you work to support her and to just on-line. She can decide to end it and you stand before nothing. Not even the child you do so much for is yours, so you have no rights for.
You need to make drastic changes. or maybe really move out.
To think that it would be cheaper for you to on-line in a big apartment alone then online rent free there – while there is another person with income. This is just so wrong.
It’s messed up what you did because he’s obviously in love with you. You sound like it was just sex for you. Since you imploded your friendship for him you should at least see if you two can be in a relationship.
This would be my only worry, you would think she would be embarrassed by it if she didn’t think it was ok. Could this be a sign of how she might online in future?
You’re not compatible and won’t work out. But you’re basically still children so it’s fine.
I have very good news. You haven't made any decisions or taken any steps that are irreversible. This is the time to act – now. You need to leave this relationship (if that's what you really want, based on your post, the guy you're with isn't a good partner), cancel the wedding and go live! your own life. If you get married it will be so much harder to split up. You need to make a few hot decisions now that will potentially make the rest of your life better.
Nothing to be concerned about. Your comparison of him to your last bf shows you have issues to work on.
Uh, tell her that her mother should come pick her up. She needs to LEAVE the home while you take the time to sort your feelings out and decide whether you want to stay in the marriage. And you also need that time for her to start taking full responsibility for her affair.
I know. I was going to say this one is a post for just no mother-in-law and raised by narcissists. Good lord, the entire post was mE, mE, mE. WhAt aBoUt mE? My ex's mother was like this and she's the reason I didn't marry him. If it wasn't for her, I would probably be celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary but oh well. I still resent her to this day for it. Last I heard, she still tries to control him. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with it everyday anymore.
This is stupid as hell, he is an idiot and using this as a way to fu£k he way around a lot of women, what the hell is this missing out cr&p he keeps bringing up… what exactly is he missing out on??? STDs???
I was with one man for 17 years he was my first and never once thought I was 'missing out'.
Let him go honey you to young for this… and you know in your heart, every time he tells you he slept with someone, kissed someone, was intimate, a little piece of you will die inside and he ain't worth it, he a loser.
Don't let him emotionally manipulate you by making you think this is something he needs and when you don't like it.. ohhh ok I'll drop it for a while… ohhh then back up again. Its called manipulation.
End the relationship, say you want different things, he wants to sleep around while you stay home and knit, then thinks your going to be OK and sleep with him SmH. Say I can't keep doing this with you, it's exhausting and I'm not going to sit there waiting for you to cheat because you think having all these women under your belt makes you a man… it makes you a loser.. I deserve better and I will find better.
Then go full no contact block him
I wish I had this information a couple years ago
“being biological”?
What does that even mean?
The poor guys in love with her that's why. He's about to lose his best friend and lover and his emotional brain is rejecting the reality.