Since you said he is abusive, next time he does anything abusive, call the police. Period. In the meantime, go ahead and file a restraining order. Tell him to be out within 24 hours and stick to it. Yes have another male at the house with you when you tell him. And help him pack up EVERYTHING he has there (so he won’t come back) and be done with him.
So is it just the male personal trainer he is stressing about or would he be cool with a female personal trainer? What sport are you training for? Most gyms will find a female trainer if you ask its a close group from what I am told they all talk and will be more that happy to hook a friend up.
Do not move in with him. As a mother you have the responsibility to protect your daughters, you know this about him, if you give him access to your daughter nonetheless, it will be on you too.
I don’t think it’s weird to have location sharing on with family. You say they aren’t controlling him or anything, seems like they will just use it for emergencies.
If him having a conversation with his mother asking her not to be purposely offensive to his wife at their wedding is “betraying his family” then the bar is truly in hell.
This is not what I wrote. I said that if you're willing to cancel the entire wedding becuase the husband wont aggressively storm off to war with his mother, instead of taking a logical peaceful approach, then he's not the problem: you are.
I've never said anything but I agree that she shouldnt come in white, I have though said, that all these womens on here extreme reaction to “if the husband do this and that instantly he's an immature manchild” to something which frankly, he shares no guilt in. Yes, he should take care of it, but the way women talk about it on this thread is literally maddingly insane.
i should’ve added so much more context, im sorry this is my first time posting in this and i honestly didn’t expect much of a response we’ve had the nude conversations, the “are we growing apart” and “should we keep going” etc, i don’t think he’s cheating just because he’s so so open with what he’s doing, if him and his friends are talking about something funny he’ll show me, he’s not hiding his screen when i come in the room etc. He’s very involved in pop culture and music (he’s in a band so that’s part of the reason he’s live! so much, too). It could be that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, im just not sure how i would go about confronting that anymore than i already have, the last thing i want to do is lose him, i’d rather just feel more connected if that makes any sense don’t worry about sounding doom and gloom! I appreciate the genuine response!
Honestly, I agree with this. It's one thing for OP to maybe think about being less sensitive and more forgiving in the moment, but I would never be this flippant towards my partner in front of others. Even if it wasn't intentionally disrespectful, it's kind of… tactless to make jokes about finances unless you're both in on it.
You will only make things harder for your bf. Report it to the authorities. If she keeps contacting him and he doesn't respond, it will only look bad for her. If he does respond (or you in his stead), he will likely get arrested.
I think the important thing to say here is that you may have to be okay with him not spending your birthday with you. It sounds like you don’t want to let him down since he “planned” so maybe he just has to miss out now. Like
“aww babe I understand you want to go to the lake house to spend your sisters birthday with her. This year I just want to spend my birthday with my friends and family and unfortunately they can’t come to the lake house. Since you already planned to go, you can just go and I’ll stay here. Maybe next year we can do something here”
He at least deserves the chance to get help before being abandoned for his illness.
Something doesn’t add up about this story.
Since you said he is abusive, next time he does anything abusive, call the police. Period. In the meantime, go ahead and file a restraining order. Tell him to be out within 24 hours and stick to it. Yes have another male at the house with you when you tell him. And help him pack up EVERYTHING he has there (so he won’t come back) and be done with him.
So is it just the male personal trainer he is stressing about or would he be cool with a female personal trainer? What sport are you training for? Most gyms will find a female trainer if you ask its a close group from what I am told they all talk and will be more that happy to hook a friend up.
Do not move in with him. As a mother you have the responsibility to protect your daughters, you know this about him, if you give him access to your daughter nonetheless, it will be on you too.
I don’t think it’s weird to have location sharing on with family. You say they aren’t controlling him or anything, seems like they will just use it for emergencies.
If him having a conversation with his mother asking her not to be purposely offensive to his wife at their wedding is “betraying his family” then the bar is truly in hell.
This is not what I wrote. I said that if you're willing to cancel the entire wedding becuase the husband wont aggressively storm off to war with his mother, instead of taking a logical peaceful approach, then he's not the problem: you are.
I've never said anything but I agree that she shouldnt come in white, I have though said, that all these womens on here extreme reaction to “if the husband do this and that instantly he's an immature manchild” to something which frankly, he shares no guilt in. Yes, he should take care of it, but the way women talk about it on this thread is literally maddingly insane.
i should’ve added so much more context, im sorry this is my first time posting in this and i honestly didn’t expect much of a response we’ve had the nude conversations, the “are we growing apart” and “should we keep going” etc, i don’t think he’s cheating just because he’s so so open with what he’s doing, if him and his friends are talking about something funny he’ll show me, he’s not hiding his screen when i come in the room etc. He’s very involved in pop culture and music (he’s in a band so that’s part of the reason he’s live! so much, too). It could be that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, im just not sure how i would go about confronting that anymore than i already have, the last thing i want to do is lose him, i’d rather just feel more connected if that makes any sense don’t worry about sounding doom and gloom! I appreciate the genuine response!
Honestly, I agree with this. It's one thing for OP to maybe think about being less sensitive and more forgiving in the moment, but I would never be this flippant towards my partner in front of others. Even if it wasn't intentionally disrespectful, it's kind of… tactless to make jokes about finances unless you're both in on it.
You will only make things harder for your bf. Report it to the authorities. If she keeps contacting him and he doesn't respond, it will only look bad for her. If he does respond (or you in his stead), he will likely get arrested.
You should have a naked time getting over that. That's just flat out creepy. What other creepy things is he still capable of?
I think the important thing to say here is that you may have to be okay with him not spending your birthday with you. It sounds like you don’t want to let him down since he “planned” so maybe he just has to miss out now. Like
“aww babe I understand you want to go to the lake house to spend your sisters birthday with her. This year I just want to spend my birthday with my friends and family and unfortunately they can’t come to the lake house. Since you already planned to go, you can just go and I’ll stay here. Maybe next year we can do something here”