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Lesson learned. Never listen to commenters on this sub.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I honestly felt the exact same way, but that’s just because your self-esteem has taken such a hit. Trust me, once you’re out of the situation, you will realise that it’s not normal, and you will honestly thank yourself for walking away.
My self-worth was at rock-bottom, but now that I’ve had time to heal, I can see how messed up my ex was in how I was treated, and I feel so much better in myself.
You can do this 🙂
You have already lost your friends. Phil is not your friend. He is a lying manipulative asshole who made sure that you burned the bridge with your current roommates so that he can now be in control over your housing situation. You can be sure that he plans on making all of the decisions about what will happen in your home from here on.
You need to start looking for 2 new roommates right now and give them both notice that they need to move out before the baby gets here.
This is the best answer, whatever would make it feel good on your terms(without goind too far obviously.) Maybe I'm a bit sadistic but I would want her to know I know and then try to explain and lie while I'm already way moved on and then tell her good luck and bye.
Why reach out? The mother doesn’t want contact with this man and OP should absolutely not push herself in there if the mother isn’t ready.
Sorry, where I live!, incest isn't common… I still hope that I am right.
The intervention is you kicking his a*s out or packing your bags and leaving. There is no coming back from that kind of abuse and disrespect.
Your fiancee is an asshole, incredibly immature, and has massively unreasonable expectations given that he is a parent with responsibilities to his SO and his children. You are both too young to get married. Don't even consider it until you're BOTH at least 25. Hopefully you're planning on a really long engagement. Don't marry people who say “Fuck you”.
See, I feel less anxiety the next day, though. Different people respond differently.
The problem is that even though it is a small gesture that requires almost no force, it shows so much.
I don't even spit on ants. It simply seems wrong to do. And for someone to do this to another human shows such a bone deep disregard and disrespect. Not just for you, but for your life and worth as a creature.
Unless you wish to be treated like an animal or a belonging, it is time to say goodbye. To get past this, you would have to fundamentally change how she sees you, and that's if she's open to it.
Let me ask you this: Are you Jason Bourne? 007? Do you have dementia? Do you have any risk that would require you to go out into the world alone and be at risk for kidnapping, murder or getting lost and not remembering your name?
You need therapy and likely couples counseling as well. You have big trauma you have not worked through and you’ve even said that your husband is now dealing with the consequences. If you care about him and want it to work, you HAVE to start by caring enough about yourself to get the help you desperately need
Well the majority of the sexually active population don’t have HIV, and it’s life threatening in a way HPV or herpes isn’t. So it’s not exactly a like for like comparison.
Would I tell someone I was about to kiss that I thought I was getting a cold? Probably not. Would I tell them if I had Tuberculosis? Yes. (obvs being a bit absurd to make a point
Please don’t support this nonsense.
You are entitled to be your own champion. You may ask you boyfriend what type of man extorts emotional pain from a woman in exchange for their love? Ask him what is the value of a culture that requires him to abuse the one person he should be caring for and protecting?
I think deep in his heart he is better than this. At least, I would like to think that of any stranger. He may just need the right message from you to help clarify his priorities.
If not, I promise you there are people out there that will value you
People can be asymptomatic so who knows. It could also be something else never know