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He doesn't want to marry you. I know it's harsh but it's true
I have to agree with u/RelevantJackWhite here. You are asking for us to take time and effort in a thoughtful response. In turn, you should take the time to somewhat punctuate it. Please show respect for those you're asking for help.
It’s sad when you marry a taker, they have no idea how to do anything but continue taking. Even here, OP still doesn’t realize what went wrong with her marriage. Smh
If this was 6 years ago and he still feels upset, then I think there might be a greater reason for him being upset. Honestly just have an open and honest talk. It might be scary and will make you feel vulnerable, but if you really love him and want a relationship then this is a conversation worth having.
we could do anal the weekend if he wanted to which he replied “no. you /owe/ me anal.
Wait, you offered anal and he said no, then said you owe him anal? Wtf. Sounds like he has some dodgy issues
If you need to ask this here, then whatever you desire is not in the best interest of your son.
If you want to split then make a final decision and stand firm with it. No second guessing. You only on-line once. Go look for what you want in life and see if you are happy with your choices.
Your son will be affected by the decision of his parents but looks like he will be just one of thousands of kids from divorsed parents. He had to deal with it. You just have to be there for him, as best you can.
Wait, u/Smart_Space_1045, why are you replying to this as though you're OP?
According to your user profile, you're 53, so obviously you're not… unless this is a slip-up and you're accidentally posting from the wrong account.
Dude – how do you put up with this ? If you are calling her out and she is not discussing/listening then just keep doing what she is doing and keep pointing out she does it – especially if there is nothing wrong with it – like staying in touch with friends. BTW – her double standard sounds like projection – she may not want to fuck them but do they probably want to fuck her and she knows it.
Why can’t you date men closer to your age? Why do you look for these older men? Assuming that your comments are true about this being a 2nd 40 something man in the last couple of years this is slightly concerning on your part.
Men who date people so much younger than themselves are more likely to be groomers and be abusive. There’s a reason why women their age don’t date them. I also don’t normally judge people for being poor/broke but unless he had some serious (real) stuff happen to him in his life to have no money at 41 may mean he’s made some really bad choices. And dating a young person is another bad choice on his part. This is not the type you would want to father your potential children or rely on him in marriage (in sickness and health etc).
You are also either on very different stages in your lives. In 10-15 years time you’ll still be young and want to do things while he will most likely not be able to keep up.
I don’t even think you’re for real. Probably a mod using comments to increase engagement. The way you comment on every other comment is manic.
I would be a pretty young dad for that to be true
Letting her sit on her ass while she takes advantage of me. Hahah
You can’t lose her because she isn’t yours. Even if she did say yes and changed her mind she is not yours. Also, if she waited a couple days, I’d take her answer as it is. She thought about it for a while before she said no. There are other fish.
How well do you actually know her? You go to the same college, you’re in love with her, have never met someone you vibe with so well, but your paths may never cross again? This honestly sounds bonkers and like you’ve let a crush go waaaaaay too far.
Leave her alone. She gave you her answer.
A video call in the future, for both of you. That way you'll know you're talking to some Pakistani guy.
I’m so sorry. My dad lost 3 kids. He was fucked up after one and it only got worse with each one. I don’t think there’s greater grief than the loss of a child
Because I love him? I really miss being around him and he hasn’t let me do that since our argument last month ?
I confessed my love to him last month and he said that he has love for me… which is a great step up from last year when he told me that he’s not interested in a relationship but he is open to happiness.
A 19 year old man who can’t cum clearly has a problem. Who cares what we label it.
Why does rent matter if you guys both have your own place ? But just speak to him about it hopefully you guys can have a healthy exchange
“cooking and cleaning”
“I don't do any of these things”
Why don't you cook or clean?
Right? Like, lack of empathy for someone who was sexually abused and that he “supposedly” loves (because he married her) is a deal breaker.
I would have left as soon as he said “it’s a me problem”. What the absolute fuck.
I was totally thinking you were going to be the AH here but you did tell him and his response resulted in his missed years. I do think your kids are old enough to have a say about what to do with bio-dad. I definitely wouldn’t let them go to him anytime soon. He will have to come to them.
You’ll be ok, but like everyone said, talk to a lawyer. I doubt a court in their right mind would give a deadbeat parent who ran away primary custody. Maybe visitation rights, worst case split custody, even though I doubt this.
It may hurt now but one day you will wake up and realize she did you a favor. Can you imagine having to tolerate John for the rest of you life because your SO refuses to call him to order and let’s him just walk all over you?
What were the reasons you broke up is probably the more important question here? That's really what can determine the chances for rebound and whether or not her actions were okay or not.
If it was a mutual break up, she was distressed (and did something she regrets) or if she already had this dude lined up makes all the difference.
One never know about the future!
That said, you can't think about this, working on youself. You have to do the work for you not for someone you hope to be with.
So do the work for you, love you first and one day someone speciel ❤
What would be your advice then?