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Has she looked it up or tried to educate herself on this condition? Is there some reason you don't mention what it is?
Just got engaged a month ago, and I feel this post deeply. I honestly thought I was never going to get married at one point in my life – I’m a veteran and a traveler and an outdoorsman and a writer, and I figured finding some bright sunny corner of Africa was where I’d wind up, single and a little lonely but content. Or maybe go be a private military contractor and make bank spending six months at a time in war zones, and six months at home spending it, ad infinitum. There wasn’t a conception of a life with space for another person in it.
Until I met my fiancée. She is my rock, my peace, my adventure, my sex goddess, the person I couldn’t imagine spending a day without knowing she was in my life. OP is right about all the tradeoffs, they’re real … until you meet the right person and none of those tradeoffs seem so bad anymore.
So I guess I won’t go live! in a bamboo hut on the savanna, or go throw my body into conflict zones for money (though I did go back into the reserves, because theres nothing quite like shooting rockets at shit), I’d rather come home at 5:30 every evening and cook dinner with the woman I love and fall asleep every night wrapped in each others arms and legs. A year ago, I would never have picked this life. Now I don’t want it any other way.
I think they are fucked as a couple, but she wants him back?
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The obvious solution here:
SHIT ALL OVER HIM
Oh just tell him “if I leave you, I wouldn’t give a fuck what you ate doing” Red flags all over
Sorry, I’m re reading your comment. What do you mean when you say “it didn’t make sense that she would care so much to not lose you”? Do you mean it doesn’t make sense why she would tell me about the guy and not care about losing me? Or that she wouldn’t want me to contact the guy because she doesn’t care about losing me? Just trying to comprehend everything before I have this conversation
Wow, your wife is a shitty person. You have a few choices ahead of you. I think sitting down with her and laying some concrete boundaries about how this is completely unacceptable. A word of warning; If she’s willing to do this to a stranger over a perceived wrong, imagine what she would do to you. You’ll need to gather every shred of evidence and lawyer up hard.
If you have wildly differing political views, I don't see how this will work.
Based on what I have personally experienced and observed, people who are Conservative/Right-Leaning (more specifically, far-right) tend to be very “traditional”. They like the “Status Quo” and are against anything that challenges that. Those people are also fixed-mindset types. They aren't interested in learning about the experiences of others, and lack empathy & understanding and their views don't change.
That is the antithesis of everything that I believe in, and personally, I don't have anything to do with them.
However, I have also met people who are right leaning, but more moderate in their views. They have a slightly more “growth” mindset, they are more understanding and tolerant, and are prepared to lend their support to what might be considered “progressive” causes. I tend to tolerate those people in small doses, but I don't let them too close.
If you aren't prepared to throw away the relationship just yet, it might be worthwhile exploring just how different your views are, and working out if in general he is someone who has a fixed or growth mindset. If it turns out that he is someone who is a “moderate conservative” (I guess you could call it), has a growth mindset and is prepared to live! and let live, then this might work.
“Normally I find this stuff funny but he’s always made me feel like I’m different…”
Well, you were warned and you actually laughed when he talked about other women like that. Shouldn't surprise you that a misogynist treats you with misogyny. Breakup with him, and next time you here a guy talk about women like that, run.
Totally agree. I mean I don't really think the sister sucks for doing it but that's my opinion. It may not be her child, but it is still her nephew. That's still her family too.
You do what you can do but it’s such a despicable Alton I’m sorry it happened to your family
“I like [Name] a lot, but I was hoping for sister time.”
I wouldn’t? Not really sure if you replied to the right dude lol My point is if you’re having a discussion about having a child together, then you obviously know each other fairly well. Sure, you could be wrong. But if you trust them you wouldn’t really give two shits about a paternity test, and if you don’t trust them then why in the fuck would you want to have and raise a child with them?
Even if he went to therapy I wouldn’t trust him to be honest with his therapist AND he’d learn fun new lingo to paint himself as the victim whilst OP is already blaming herself for HIS tantrums.
You find her physically attractive, but not sexually? Are you guys just not connecting sexually/not communicating what you guys want?
Why did you start feeling like this? When did you? Way too vague, but I'll tell you this: she deserves to be with someone who finds her sexually attractive and someone who desires her sexually. You do not have that right to prevent her from finding that if it isn't with you.
It just gets worse, if you can believe it.
You're too old to be playing these games.
You either know you love and want to be with your fiancé or you don't. Clearly, if you're entertaining the idea of a life with Clark, you're not as in love with your fiancé as you've made him believe.
You said he choked you on another comment on here. He will probably end up killing you if you don't leave. The statistics are not on your side. You can't fix that.
In those 5 years did you ever talk about what the future looked like and where you fit into his life in the long term? Seems like you've already sacrificed a lot over the years.
I think you know the answer and hope you can find peace and love wherever it may present itself. Good luck with law school!