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Talk, with our without a mediator. If you love each other, your child and your life together, downplay the situation and ease her guilt.
I hope this works out for you, but I think the kernel of mistrust is going to be hard to dislodge. Good luck.
That's what this poster wants people to do. They have made multiple fake cheating posts claiming to be a pregnant woman whose husband is paranoid about her cheating with his male friend or his brother. This isn't a real person; they want people to leap to conclusions about them cheating, and it's working.
Stupidity is also inherited so your child will get that from his father.
You’re pointing at kids as the source of your marital problems but what about the financial struggles? You lived a relatively care free life with the travel and the hobbies. Now not only you don’t have the freedom to do as you please because you’re responsible for another human beings but you also don’t have the means to do it.
This is a huge life adjustment and no wonder that things aren’t sunshiny. Unfortunately, instead of trying to tackle it together you turned against each other. It’s hard to say if you can recover from this, especially not knowing the nasty things you tell each other.
If you want to have a shot at restoring what you had, you need to brace yourself for a lot of work. Starting with open communication about how you hurt each other, establishing ground rules for the future and potentially therapy. If you don’t want to commit to it, I’d suggest splitting before things get sour.
Just tell the dude. There would be less fucked up relationships if people did this
No problem! Have you discussed the possibility of having a long engagement? That might be a compromise that can work for you guys and satisfy you both.
It would allow you to be engaged this year and have the idea of marriage “locked in” in a sense the way you’d like.
It would also allow him to take his time getting prepared to actually be married and do things the way he wants to financially.
If you guys are sure you’re “the one” for each other then a long engagement or even a promise ring might help to put you in the headspace of intentionally moving toward marriage. Good Luck!
That same tension and stress before you found out and gotten your “relief” will be with you as long as she remains your gf. The trust is gone and in its place are suspicions and paranoia for the rest of your days with her because of the scheming, plotting, and how she conspired with her friends to cover it up. 23M is NOTHING in term of “lateness” for you to find a good partner to be with.
She likes to smoke pot. You don’t like who she is when she smokes. She continues to smoke.
This isn’t compatibility.
Your gf is extremely brazen to demand you support her family. If they are in the US they can go to work just like you do to support themselves. I’m telling you the gravy train demands will never end. Please reconsider your decision to continue this relationship
I’m sorry
So she wants to sent to her family around 18k every year? Extra for the “emergencies” ?
It’s half a year salary. I wouldn’t send that unless it’s something like medical expenses.
Honestly I feel like she could have made that up in a sad attempt to prove to OP that others agree with her.
If this is a legitimate post, there's no changing this pig. He's 35 and a damn train wreck!!! This is NOT normal behavior from a man. Yeah, sure, some of us are a bit messy or neglectful in cleaning duties. This dude is just plain disgusting and not a child, there's no excuse and no changing him long term.
I would tell her now. Let her know you will be gone when she gets back. Never be someone’s back up plan.
I met my husband after having a kid, and he is older than me. I also don’t like my boobs. While I’ve never mentioned that during intimacy, any time I bring it up he says “I like your boobs.” And he does not want me to get them altered; not that he would prevent me from getting them done, but he’s not for it. Find you someone who loves you and finds all of your self-perceived faults attractive.
Definitely fake.
It doesn't matter if he means it or not, you've asked him to stop, and he's not stopping.
You should stop fucking other people. Unprotected sex, really? Are you stupid?
You tell me. You said he “doesn’t want to move in because he wants to stay with his mom.” But also that he’s “ basically” living there already. So there’s clearly a distribution between the current situation and what you want.
Does he spend every single night there? Is all his stuff there? Has he decorated the apartment with his stuff?
Don’t tell her again. Just go low contact. Distract yourself. Date other people.
She already knows how you feel. Telling her again makes it weird