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Sounds like the answer is either to go ahead and have an open relationship or end things.
You both are going cheat if given the opportunity. Why pretend that this relationship is something that it really isn’t ?
After being a bum for much of my 20s, I do really value money and success now. And I need a partner who is there for it with me instead of someone who is holding me back.
I would think it’s funny asf
So it’s kind of a lose/ lose situation regardless of what we do, huh?
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Ex’s are like reading the same book and expecting a different ending ?
Making money off of girls like me
Early menopause she’s 31? You mean because she got the surgery or it’s why she needed the surgery? I’m confused!
His mom is extremely creepy. He rubbed up on you in your sleep because he likes you? When he likes something sold in a store, does he wait until they're closed to break in and take it?
I don't think you can have any contact with this family. Even if he “just” hugged you, even if you “led him on” (he didn't and you didn't), this behavior is NOT ok and there is absolutely no excuse for it. You were assaulted. They've already dug their heels in to a story, so this was not surprising to them. I also think you should report to police, knowing it will not go anywhere right now, but even if you don't — keep yourself safe and stay as far away from these people as possible. If I found out my brother did this, I would be absolutely disgusted with him and maintain a relationship mainly out of the fact that fully isolating predators and giving them no supervision can make reoffending more likely (and getting away with it more likely).
I am really sorry this happened to you.
Why do his “wanted friend connections” need to know he’s into ROMANCE. Lol
? Wow thanks for the laugh you stupid cunt. We talked for a whole year we know each other well yo get a fucking grip
Oooh what the fuck ever. What should we do advertise? We won’t judge you come on in and we will treat you! No shame in being turned on by children. Has treatment for any sexual deviants ever worked? No . Prison does. This guy was already acting on it by looking it up and saving pornographic images of children. His dumb ass wife was looking at the child porn as if it was competition. She didn’t call the fucking police when she found pics of local school girls. I guess she should have taken him straight to couples counseling. Stfu.
Yes! People can go without sex for 2 yrs. It is not a miraculous feat to practice semen retention. Same for women too. You will not die without sex.
She's only 18 of course she's been dating around. It's perfectly normal for many. You're already judging her though so you should just let her find someone else who is more mature about things.
Congrats on getting into med school. Sounds like she was really in a hurry to get married if 1.5yrs in you’ve already had multiple talks about it. I would imagine she’s got a timeline e in mind for marriage and kids and feels a sense of urgency like many people do. She was probably already doubting the relationship with no ring and this sealed it. I’m sorry about the breakup bud.
You're not keeping these things in ziplocks stashed in a drawer, that's the difference. You're displaying them as memorial items.
Oh ffs. Yes I have and you come home feeling disgusting! Stewing in your own dried sweat is a recipe for crotch rot and skin lesions. Fucking wash your ass.
No, he is discussing how people process trauma and using an example that is easier for people to understand.
You don't need to gatekeep trauma.
I'd honestly focus more on getting your kids into shape in terms of setting expectations regarding chores and implementing some kind of structure where there's a penalty, whether it's loss of a favorite toy or screen time (I'm not sure how old they are) if they don't do it when they are supposed to. Don't let them turn out like your wife, and give them the functional skills they will need to maintain their own households one day.
Your wife sounds selfish and lazy, to be honest. And she knows you'll ultimately take care of it, and doesn't care that more of the burden falls on you if it means she gets her way and doesn't have to do it. The fact that she will only wash her own clothes is very telling.
You've expressed to her what your needs are in this area. She's heard you, and while she might say she's going to do more, her actions speak otherwise. She doesn't want to. She doesn't plan to. She doesn't care that this impacts you negatively, because the arrangement works for HER.
You could of course decide to just stop doing the chores and see how long she can go with dirty bathrooms and a kitchen stacked with dirty dishes, but you know what will happen. It will start WWIII, because you'll be the bad guy for not doing the chores. It's become expected of you.
You have to decide if you can on-line with things being this way or not. People who have avoided doing chores most of their adult lives usually don't suddenly start one day.
Send her a DM “Hey (girls name), You popped up on my feed and I was wondering what you were up to?” See where the conversation goes.
It is time to break up.
Me neither. If my partner can be civil or even friendly with an ex, then great. Sounds like a well-adjusted person where the former romance is now insignificant to me.
honestly it could be that hes jealous of my sex life? maybe insecure; hes never made me cum (idrk mind this because sex w him is still amazing and feels so good, ive told him this), but the first time i hooked up w the girl, she made me cum.
Sorry, I use voice recognition. I think that you’re right about the finances you can’t. I’m a recovering person around alcohol for a couple of decades so I’ve been around. Just take care of yourself.
Well to be fair, I didn't know he was insane! He also doesn't look his age but still… fair enough and thank you
I have said it’s a good point. I’m going to reach out to his gf today. The only thing I’m struggling with is cutting my friend off and that’s harder than everyone makes it seem
Your poor wife sounds stressed out and at the end of her tether. You are a bit full of yourself and how much better you are than she at everything. What is clear here is that you are looking at her through the eyes of disdain and not a partner and not in love. She was good enough to have your kids. Parenthood doesn’t come with instruction. Why not give her a break physically and metaphorically, pitch in when you can hear her shouting at the kids. She enjoys it as little as you do. Stop your arrogance and help her out.
It was projection when this happened to me.
I’m sorry, have you heard of the word “stop”?
There are two scenarios:
1) He is just “love bombing” you to get you back so he can get back to the status quo to control you.
2) He is feeling remorse
If you ever feel that he is actually showing remorse, then he has to prove it for many months and not just a week.
Go see a lawyer and see if separation is thing in your state and if you can get him to move out.
Tell your husband that the control and abuse is too much and if he truly feels remorse and wants to change his ways he needs to get therapy and prove that you and the children can be treated with respect for a year before you have any interactions with him. If he is truly sorry he will be happy to do anything he can to get you all back. But I suspect he isn't. He doesn't want to pay child support or cook his own food or get a worse place to on-line or look bad.
You jumped way too early into this relationship. You said that you dated enough to know good and bad, apparently not that well because that was bad situation waiting to happen and you obviously didn't see it or you did see it but didn't care. Sorry about your miscarriage but you need to stay single and focus on you.
And no moving in with dudes after just 2 months that's asking for shit to go wrong.
Also him wanting to on-line together 6 months in while ostentatiously pretending to be wealthy? This has scam written all over it.
You should read stories from people that get through infidelity in relationships. Success stories are almost always from people who felt guilty and owned up to their cheating, came clean by taking responsibility and putting in the work to fix things. You’re the one that found out, you’re the one laying the grounds for fixing things, you’re the one thinking and putting in work.
I hope not. But maybe.
Breaking up and getting back together is toxic. He is finally breaking the bond and moving on. Both of you needed to do that.