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Sounds like a hormone imbalance could try some supplements or something
Sorry man, but its already over. She has already slept with him or is planning on it. An abrupt change like that is a huge red flag. End it on your terms.
Sounds like she’s lost her identity and wrapped in this idea that she’s just a mum. It’s a common occurrence. It seems to be a societal influence that once you’re pregnant you’re just a mum and nothing else.
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we broke up 6 months ago! i just wanted some input!
I had them like 30 years ago. Didn't know they were still around. They are harmless though… But they are gross and he is just awful.
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admits everything telling me he was only on hinge when he and his wife were on a break and figured it would lead to a hookup that he didn't realize he would meet his soulmate.
I am sorry but please tell me you're not actually falling for this bullshit? Even if they were really on a break and this was just a hookup, he should have absolutely disclosed to you that he is married and (possibly) separated from his wife.
He said he was planning on telling me, but there was never a good time
He had a whole year
and when his wife revealed she was pregnant, he didn't know what to do
am I mathing this correctly? The wife is 3 months pregnant, he has been dating you for a year. And he is surprised when his wife 'revealed' she was pregnant? So he has reconciled with his wife and they were banging, but you're his 'soulmate' and he didn't know what to do? So which is it?
and figured he'd deal with it after the holidays.
Not only did he waste more of your time, he waited and humiliated you in front of your family for bringing around a married man.
I told him no, but was that the right thing?
Absolutely you did the right thing, not only that if you can please tell his wife about the conversation you had with him. She did you a favor, please return that. Tell her he told you they were separated and he found his soulmate in you. Pretty good chance he's tell his wife 'it was a mistake, OP meant nothing to me etc'. He's probably playing on both sides in case one of the women leaves him he can go with the other.
As for you, u understand it must be painful and embarrassing, but you did nothing wrong here. You were conned by this man. Its not your fault if someone targets you. I wish you the best and that you stay away from him
I know, on one hand we had a fantastic few quality time weeks, but on the other hand, now there is this distance, and she met with her ex two days in a row , and both days were “questionable” when I think about it.
anyone in their 40's should have their shit together and if they “dont have money” they shouldnt be dating period.
It’s going to depend on where you are located. However, you most likely would be responsible for financial support.
You definitely need to speak to a lawyer asap and should have had this in writing prior to the birth.
Honestly, after seeing all the additional info the OP provided, I don’t blame them, and if it were my kid I’d be giving them the ride. However, if it were my kid I’d ask them to not pay rent OR bills, use the money they would be paying me to learn to drive and get a car instead, and then to focus on getting a better job which would better enable them to support themselves.
You're hung up on a woman who never truly felt attracted to you, which is a pretty big part of loving someone. Find someone who actually wants you and finds you attractive. Get in a gym. Take care of yourself. Get on Bumble- the ladies do the first messaging on there so you know the attraction is genuine.
I knew this was gonna be a shitshow the moment he let on that one of the top two things he values is her being “sweet”
Yeah, but the no contact stuff and what not should be able to be canceled if the other party agrees to it. It seems very excessive to have no contact and basically a restraining order and he thrown in jail just for an argument.
Show me how this happens enough that men need to be afraid of it. As far as I'm aware science-wise, this isn't even possible! So go ahead, show me it's a real concern.
Until then, it's misogyny.
You don’t deal. It’s a dealbreaker period. There’s no coming back from that.
No it hasn't, she's a great mother it's just not working out between us. Either way, since our schedules collide more than likely I'll be keeping him most of the day since I take our son to school and I'll be moving into my parents for a while
NONE!
I regret getting married to her
hope you know that when your child gets a pet, it becomes your responsibility too even if they swear up and down they’ll take care of it because children are still children
If what he says is true, which it isn't, it means he's very bad at setting boundaries with people around him, especially women. That's already a yellow flag that's well on its way to being red.
But the real problem here is that he's being manipulative, potentially without realizing it. This isn't a thing, and people don't just go around casually talking about who's into them. He's looking to make you see him as having more value then he does and you having less value than you do. It's not a good thing. Move on.
Does she have a job now or not? If so, why would she not have a job now? Do you have a child?
You can let her know that at this point, you are not interested in this role until you two have a marriage certificate and you two are legally married. Since there is no guarantee you will make it to that stage it's perfectly reasonable to establish financial boundaries both before and after. Did you two discuss how finances would be established before moving in together?
Ah yes equating saying « your pp is a little small » to an emotionally and physically abusive relationship… you really are a genius… also if that’s « destroying » someone’s self worth than they had none to begin with.
In general, when one partner gets blackout drunk and hurts the other partner’s feelings, it is a huge red flag.
I’m not sure she is a long term possibility for you. Serious talk at minimum.
Thank you.
Way to bury the lead. Your “friend” is a disgusting POS. She is probably jealous that you have a talented boyfriend who cares about you while hers goes back to his wife every time.
You have so little time left, should you spend it all with her?
He’s not into you or he’s dead. The former is most likely it.
It’s not uncommon to get along great while talking but not feel chemistry when you meet. A mature person would have texted something like “had a nice time on our coffee date and you seem like a good person but I don’t feel like this is a good fit. Good luck on your search.”
When I started dating again, I went on about 25 first dates (coffee or drinks) in 2 mos. I only chatted for a few days before making a date. And usually within 5 min, even when we had great conversation prior, I knew if it was a yay or nay. 25 first, 10 second, and 1 third in 2 mos and have been with 3rd date guy for 5 years now.
Good luck! Don’t take it personally.
She just doesn’t know what happened, and no it was my stepfathers friend, I never reported him cause he scared me and I was worried he’d do something to me x
I am really not sure – things ended without any closure. I think I'd be crossing a boundary if I reach out but I'm also not the type of person to just let it go after I've realized my mistake. I won't ask for a response or forgiveness in any case but I feel like it's a responsibility to apologize ?
why the hell would she lie about a thing you probably don't care ?
is she religious or something? like she wear a virginity ring and boast at the church ?
it may be that you are her whitewashing for previous sexual activities.
any way,now that she is marked as liar, nothing she says can be trusted. i would leave at that point.
Wow! So much hate. I’m not your ex (thank Christ!) And I don’t go through her phone, I simply ask her. And she already left me, and I have never told her I’m suicidal. She’ll simply know after I’m done.
I’ve made this post in the hopes of some civil discussion and perhaps other men and women share the same experience. But no, I’m not the one generalizing, you are! I’ve listed studies, that’s all. Who knows, maybe 15% of women experience this phenomenon, but you just assume that just because “you have a uterus” you can speak for all women.
She has been 6 months sober and is seeing a counsellor to work through her childhood traumas and boundaries with men. She is truly a different woman since this and said she never wants to drink to excess ever again.
This is good for her, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything to you. You're 6 months past and still can't get over it.
It's not good for either of you to online in misery. Neither person has to be evil for a relationship to end, it can just stop being a healthy situation for two otherwise-good people.
It really is
First of all, his profession as a therapist has actually made him a bad communicator. That's a mind-boggling level of irony right there.
Everybody that stays with anybody does it despite certain things. It's completely unrealistic to think that any two people are going to like everything about each other.
But that wasn't really my point. I basically saying that he must fundamentally like you if he has chosen to stay with you. Has he ever said that you two should break up?
So for 5 years when I was trying to get him to save And be financially responsible… he said he had the money…… now closer to marriage and settling down he doesn’t. Yea I am mad.
It resulted in him telling me they did have a sexual relationship but it's over now. I asked him for proof which he didn't provide other than two pieces of twisted partial evidence which aren't concrete but if true are horrific.
Imagine you, unaware.
Imagine them.
I was one of those once, cold, wet and hungry. We even went to the wrong campsite originally and it took us a while to figure that out (yes, there was alcohol involved.) We didn’t have any of the right stuff for camping or for the activities, because the invite said just show up. Luckily, they eventually took pity on us.
I have severe morning sickness that begins within days of conception, so I took a pregnancy test within 7 days of conception for all 4 of my children.
You’re at a great age to learn that advocating for your needs is not selfish. If he really is a good partner he’s not going to make you feel guilty for having and expressing feelings.
“Hey, I appreciate that you planned my birthday and I love your family, but the reason I said I didn’t want to do it at your family’s lake house is because I want to spend the day with my own family and friends for my birthday and get dolled up instead of being somewhere outdoorsy. Maybe we can do a separate trip to the lake as a couple trip but for this I really want to do something else, like dinner at a nice restaurant.”
My guess is also that he wants to do a dual celebration with his sister, in which case he’ll need to be honest about that or figure out a way to do them separately. But please realize that you’re not selfish or ungrateful for wanting to celebrate with your friends, especially because you already explicitly told him that’s what you wanted (and it’s honestly common sense).
Girl, tell him you made it clear this isn’t what you want.
I dated a guy who’s birthday was a few days from mine. He started that he wanted to do something together. Then he wanted to do drugs in a cabin in the woods. I said that sounds like the opposite of a good time to me. Whenever I protested “it wasn’t set in stone”. Ultimately, not only did he do nothing for me, he took all our friends away too. They had to plan something just for me.
What did I do? Booked a flight to go have a weekend with my best friend.
You stated what you wanted. You can tell him he didn’t listen. He’ll either adjust or not, but YOU control if you’re going to have a good time for your birthday.
I’ve been sick, I’ve been a caregiver. I feel bad for the girl but so far none of her disabilities stop her from making a phone call to her insurance carrier.