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i reccomend leaving her for abit, it seems like shes not all that interested in u at the moment and getting on her case makes it worse
Thank you, you’re right I have had many issues in the past with saying no, especially considering with her when I do she gets mad at me for “gatekeeping.” I had originally wanted to date outside of the community, she was barely a part of it when we first met, and has since become more involved.
Thank you for the support, yes, I agree it feels as though she’s being very selfish. Just to clarify, she moved in with me because my lease was ending and she was in a more affordable place before. The living situation isn’t much of her using me.
I’ll definitely take this deep into consideration. I’ve been considering that outcome for some time and I’ve been afraid of wether or not I’m making the right decision
Yeah that’s true. She definitely needs to be aware of the situation and how I’m feeling, its just been difficult to initiate that conversation. It’s not doing anyone any good to put it off.
I have had that “I should know by now” thought but I didn’t let myself put too much weight to it when I probably should be.
And it’s not really the convenience that’s weighing on me or my decision, though it seems that’s all anyone in the comment section has been focusing on. I didn’t think I put that much weight into it in the main post but that’s what people seem to be really running with. I just don’t really know what I want and how to have that conversation.
Thank you for your cordial comment and advice
Report her. 2. Dump her. It’s that simple.
What? Do you think lying is justified “because you dont want them to find the truth”?
Would you defend a spouse lying to their s/o? Would you think its rude to find out you are being cheated on?
She is their fucking sister. She isnt their colleague. They have a fucking blood relationship and this brings a lot of things OP is entitled to ask.
Get political, reform prisons. That's the only way to move on.
They’re out there, just keep looking. I made the announcement of remaining child free a first date thing. Yes, it often meant only one date with some great guys, but I knew for certain I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time. BTW, I’ve been married for 30 years. And it was harder back in those days to find someone on the same page.
Good call.
She has a pretty old fashioned view on mental health / therapy. She's become more open minded over the years of being with me, but I think she still thinks mental illnesses can't be that bad because she's never experienced it. Needless to say she will probably be all unwilling to attend therapy even if I recommend it. I can hear it now: “I don't need therapy, are you calling me crazy?” But I will try, and I'll ask my therapist for advice as well.
Thanks for your advice. I'm not sure what you mean by handing me? I was worried there might be something up with her, I have payed for most of our going out but she has offered to pay like twice and she's the one doing most of the driving. I do think the location is a bit much but I don't really care if she has it since I basically just go from home to school to gym. If she were to start asking me why I was at certain places I can just remove her.
Also reddit says there are 4 comments on my post but I can only see yours?
A lot of comments are pointing out that this post seems very immature, but sometimes groups of friends hold each other back when it comes to growing up. You can get used to one dynamic and just keep being the same past the time you should have outgrown it. I recommend finding other friends your age who seem more mature and learning from them.
You are 30, you should not care the slightest anymore about ur parents controllin issues and abuse anymore.
fine, some people are like that, i get it, but he doesn’t say it when i ask him a few months later so i just assumed he still cared but he thought it was too awkward to say it at the time. Never mind, we’re not gonna be best friends anyway.
Thanks for your reply! However we will not be able to afford the counseling unfortunately 🙁
Yeah tell her – she’s gonna be at home getting mugged off by this absolute shit stain of a human being.
And as for your gf, honestly she should be an ex by now. That ship sailed a long time ago.
This is one of the most important parts of a relationship, emotions. You need premarital councilibg and be honest. She has a hang up because of something she has experienced in her past.
Don’t break up with him just because you feel you aren’t good enough. I am sure he thinks you are plenty good. Talk to him about it and be very honest about the expectations he can have from you at this point and time. If he is willing to work through it then maybe it can be worth it?
But if you feel you need time to focus on yourself and you don’t have the energy to put into a relationship then that is a valid reason to break up.
Do what you think is best for you, but don’t think you know what is best for him before you talk to him about it first.
Take all the time you need to grow as a person and trust me you will feel better and more confident one day
She broke up with you but just couldn't tell you directly.
Feel sorry for your current fiance. This is why a lot of straight people don't like their significant others hanging with the opposite sex, because things like this can crop up.
You basically just admitted your fiance is, at best, second choice, and all it took was some other guy from your past saying some slick stuff to you.
“The grass is always greener on the other side when you torch your own field.”
You should leave both of them alone and be single and figure out why you're untrustworthy and try to fix that.
It sounds like your love language is words of affirmation.
Do you know her love language? Because remember: if you’re not showing love in the way she prioritizes, she may not be feeling it.
Whose name is on the account at the vet clinic? Is the dog chipped and if so whose name is on that? These two things help determine legal ownership in the US.
If everything is in your name, you own the dog. Go get dog. That’s not stealing.
If it’s not all in your name, then you’ll have to negotiate and I’d think that the 10hrs with no potty break would be the angle to take. That’s neglect.
Your partners mother put her sexual needs above the health, safety and emotional needs of her child. Now she's at an age where that type of “affection” is not so easy to come by she decides she wants to replace that with the child she basically abandoned and you decided your experience was enough to disregard his feelings and help facilitate something he has expressly stated he doesn't want.
All you can do is admit your error, give him time and hope the prior 6 years is enough for him to forgive you