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Listen, there’s no one on your side or not on your side. Your partner is not kind or helpful or caring to you but worse, is also like that to your children. That’s not a side that’s not an acceptable thing. Your standards are the opposite of high. Leave him or don’t but staying with him won’t be good for you or your kids. It can’t be because he doesn’t care about any of you/ causes you harm. Best of luck. And I’m sorry. It sucks when love isn’t enough.
Just slowly escalate your physicality and display of affection to her and see how she reacts. More touchy, little gifts perhaps, showing you care about her a lot, help her out with things in her life. If she’s warm to it keep going and slowly transition your friendship to more than friends.
Even if she doesn’t reciprocate immediately it’s not necessarily bad. Might mean she needs time herself to see how she feels about you.
Just if she pulls away or clearly doesn’t like you attempting to get closer like that, then stop and apologize and say you won’t do it again. Then you know where you stand and can keep your friendship.
I feel like I am, but I can’t stop thinking the worst. I don’t know her or even seen her before. But he works with alot of people so I wouldn’t know.
Yeah aside from everything you've listed, your relationship is far from healthy.
He sets boundaries and breaks them within hours.
Whats yours is apparently theirs, but not vice versa. The major red flag here is the children comment, kids aren't cats. They aren't emotional support tools. Take that as you will.
I know his brother has a whole host of MH issues, but has anyone looked into or suggested hypochondria to him?
But yeah, after everything I've read I'd go on the holiday whether he likes it or not and seriously think if this is the relationship I'd want for the foreseeable future. He can cancel your entire wedding, where people have basically wasted money travelling to be there, cos his brother manipulated him again.
If you let the return and exchange date pass then he kind of has a reason to be upset that you didn’t trust him enough to be honest and now he’s stuck with something he paid money for that you aren’t going to wear. So just tell him before it’s to late to even resolve it.
Women do things like this in the moment because they have to make a quick judgment. I was once single and chatted up by a dude i didn't care for but we were alone and when he asked my number i gave it to him with just one digit off (plausible deniability). Nothing was stopping me from just telling him no, but … idk, sometimes you react oddly in these situations, a million thoughts and past experiences run through our head. as long as she told you and deleted, it should be ok.
Leaving him would be a good start. Therapy to help you sort this out would also help.
I’m so sorry. It hurts. Take care of yourself.
Not really, he says that I just have to ask and he will help with what I need. He doesn't understand that I need alone time but tries to respect it by letting me have time alone in my office to watch netflix or whatever.