How do you poke fun at them? Please explain and maybe tell us a funny joke about these things. I can't think of any. Btw humor has it's limitations and atrocious crimes, racism and bigotry belong to those limitations.
Either leave and be free but more responsible next time you have sex or stay and face the consequences of your actions. If you can’t live! this life just leave and sign your rights off for the baby and gf.
To what end though? So he can punish you for cheating on him? So he will let you go without fighting for you to stay? Was it fair to him when you were cheating on him? Why care about that now?
Stop dragging things out. Tell him it's over, if you want to give him the reason, sure. But someone that's abusive isn't going to take that news well. Heck, he'd probably still be a nightmare even if you pulled a “it's not you, it's me”.
Is he going on his own trips? I'd make a deal where you each get one kid-free, spouse-free vacation a year. That's it, for both of you. Family is important, spend time with each other. But don't let him give you a double standard if he's taking a vacation for himself.
You would have to gain 136lb to get to the same bmi as her, don't wreck your health by gaining weight, trust me, I know. Take care of yourself and if you can sit down and have a conversation with her about how her being toxic about everyone's weight, knckuding yours, is making you unhappy.
Without much context it sounds like she’s exhausted. Constantly moderating your tone to be feminine and sweet when you’re frustrated and tired of looking after kids is exhausting. Constantly thinking about how you look and how you clothes fit and if you put on perfume is exhausting. Constantly wondering if your partner is fed up with you because you’re not wearing perfume is exhausting.
I get that. It’s a hard tightrope to walk, but without some pushback from you she might not break out of this. She may need that push, even though I’m sure it won’t be easy for her.
she knows with near 100% certainly that her friend and fiancé will be in our lives forever.
Your friend has been in your life for 10 years. He will 100% be in your life forever, unless you decide to trash your friendship for your selfish gf.
I was in a similar situation, but it was my sisters wedding. I was upset when I realised the date, a small selfish part of me wanted him to be there BUT it was never a question that he would be attending his friends wedding.
When we broke up, because life was pulling us in opposite directions.
His friend was the one who took him in, and took care of him. I didn't check in with him, but would talk to his friend to make sure he was ok. Because he was a sensitive guy who struggled with being openly vulnerable.
I'm trying to imagine if I'd stopped him going to his friends wedding.
He never would have reached out to him, or had that support because he'd feel so guilty about not being there that it would make him change how he treated his friend.
Friendships are so important, your GF knows this, unfortunately she doesn't value your friendships or relationships.
Your relationship isn't guaranteed.
I'm trying to imagine making my ex feel the way your gf is making you feel, and it actually makes me feel so sad.
The best friend vs good friend debate is unnecessary. You've been good friends for 10 years, he falls into best friend territory.
This is a situation I'd consider speaking to him about.
Text him, tell him her best friends wedding is on the same day so she can't come and you will be there.
Partners support eachother, this is an obvious case of you both go solo. The fact that she expects you to miss out on a huge life event of someone important in your life, who is part of your support network. Is a massive red flag.
If you don't attend his wedding, there will be issues in that friendship of yours. Your friend is like family. If you break up, who would you expect/want to show up for you? If your friend is on the list, then you shouldn't even be considering going to her best friends wedding.
This is an obvious case of you go solo.
The fact that you're so anxious about this, and the text is making you feel this way should be a massive eye opener for you. This woman doesn't love you the way you love her, her love is selfish yours isn't.
You don't make people you love, go through things like this. She wouldn't abandon her friend so why should you abandon yours.
Do NOT abandon your friends wedding. If you guys break up, you will have ruined your relationship with a really good friend for nothing.
You probably aren't being firm enough. She is blatantly disrespecting your boundaries and not listening to you. Since telling her gently hasn't worked, she needs tough love. It's ultimatum time. Define how many days per week (on average) you will be available to her and stay firm. If you aren't feeling up for a visit, say no. If she is too touchy-feeling say stop and move away from her. Model what type and how much affection you like. Explain that not getting enough personal space will cause you to end the relationship. She needs to hear it.
You also need to be receptive of her needs too, but you two need compromise and balance. She is likely anxious and insecure, so suggest she gets therapy.
If you research narcissistic behavior, they will ruin a family thing on purpose. And then gaslight into a scapegoat thinking they did it. If this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, you may be in an abusive relationship.
The best luck at had at my job when someone sexually harrassed me was to tell him to quit or I would report. He said “You would report to our HR?” I said “No, I will talk to your wife.”
That ended it. You might have a little chat with him, or better yet email him and let him know he needs to stop and the next time you will first report it to his girlfriend and then HR. That gives you proof that you asked him to stop, too.
She has expressed to you that she is bisexual, which should immediately signal to you that there is an increased likelihood that she will want to explore that realm.
This incident was not an accident, and you need to decide for yourself if continuing towards marriage with her is something you still want. You have now confirmed two things about her, one she cheated(assuming this was during your relationship), and two, she most definitely has the desire to explore. In other words, this may not be the first time and probably wont be the last.
Idk personally I would invite her still. Unless you KNOW it's gonna spoil the wedding by fighting or causing a scene or something… But I understand, sometimes just because there your “family” doesn't mean that there really the best for you In any type of way. Toxic forreal. Hope everything turns out to be great for you with the wedding!! Have fun!!
She is also working. Probably around 60-70 hrs. But I end up looking after her and the pets. I have asked her to lend a hand in the chores but that goes away after a couple of days. I have brought up the friends issue (that she needs to hang out more with other friends). We recently moved cities as well after I got a new job(which again was predominantly because she wanted to move)
what he would do is immaterial – he doesn't live! there and it's your home
your mother is the real problem here which is why I asked who else you can talk to – even a teacher/lecturer at college or a line manager at work.
How do you poke fun at them? Please explain and maybe tell us a funny joke about these things. I can't think of any. Btw humor has it's limitations and atrocious crimes, racism and bigotry belong to those limitations.
Therapy.
Decide if this life for you or not so :
Either leave and be free but more responsible next time you have sex or stay and face the consequences of your actions. If you can’t live! this life just leave and sign your rights off for the baby and gf.
To what end though? So he can punish you for cheating on him? So he will let you go without fighting for you to stay? Was it fair to him when you were cheating on him? Why care about that now?
Stop dragging things out. Tell him it's over, if you want to give him the reason, sure. But someone that's abusive isn't going to take that news well. Heck, he'd probably still be a nightmare even if you pulled a “it's not you, it's me”.
The point is to get out as safely as possible.
Is he going on his own trips? I'd make a deal where you each get one kid-free, spouse-free vacation a year. That's it, for both of you. Family is important, spend time with each other. But don't let him give you a double standard if he's taking a vacation for himself.
You would have to gain 136lb to get to the same bmi as her, don't wreck your health by gaining weight, trust me, I know. Take care of yourself and if you can sit down and have a conversation with her about how her being toxic about everyone's weight, knckuding yours, is making you unhappy.
Thank you. I’m happy you are strengthening your bonds.
Without much context it sounds like she’s exhausted. Constantly moderating your tone to be feminine and sweet when you’re frustrated and tired of looking after kids is exhausting. Constantly thinking about how you look and how you clothes fit and if you put on perfume is exhausting. Constantly wondering if your partner is fed up with you because you’re not wearing perfume is exhausting.
I get that. It’s a hard tightrope to walk, but without some pushback from you she might not break out of this. She may need that push, even though I’m sure it won’t be easy for her.
This is a long one, but I hope you read it.
she knows with near 100% certainly that her friend and fiancé will be in our lives forever.
Your friend has been in your life for 10 years. He will 100% be in your life forever, unless you decide to trash your friendship for your selfish gf.
I was in a similar situation, but it was my sisters wedding. I was upset when I realised the date, a small selfish part of me wanted him to be there BUT it was never a question that he would be attending his friends wedding.
When we broke up, because life was pulling us in opposite directions.
His friend was the one who took him in, and took care of him. I didn't check in with him, but would talk to his friend to make sure he was ok. Because he was a sensitive guy who struggled with being openly vulnerable.
I'm trying to imagine if I'd stopped him going to his friends wedding.
He never would have reached out to him, or had that support because he'd feel so guilty about not being there that it would make him change how he treated his friend.
Friendships are so important, your GF knows this, unfortunately she doesn't value your friendships or relationships.
Your relationship isn't guaranteed.
I'm trying to imagine making my ex feel the way your gf is making you feel, and it actually makes me feel so sad.
The best friend vs good friend debate is unnecessary. You've been good friends for 10 years, he falls into best friend territory.
This is a situation I'd consider speaking to him about.
Text him, tell him her best friends wedding is on the same day so she can't come and you will be there.
Partners support eachother, this is an obvious case of you both go solo. The fact that she expects you to miss out on a huge life event of someone important in your life, who is part of your support network. Is a massive red flag.
If you don't attend his wedding, there will be issues in that friendship of yours. Your friend is like family. If you break up, who would you expect/want to show up for you? If your friend is on the list, then you shouldn't even be considering going to her best friends wedding.
This is an obvious case of you go solo.
The fact that you're so anxious about this, and the text is making you feel this way should be a massive eye opener for you. This woman doesn't love you the way you love her, her love is selfish yours isn't.
You don't make people you love, go through things like this. She wouldn't abandon her friend so why should you abandon yours.
Do NOT abandon your friends wedding. If you guys break up, you will have ruined your relationship with a really good friend for nothing.
lmao you are the one saying she is abandoning this girl. the fact is that this is not her responsibility AT ALL. she isnt abandoning shit
Wrong post.
Check the expiration date or type in serial number to see when manufactured then you have your answer.
They could be old but if they was manufactured within the 2 years then yeah he fucked about and you should just confront him
INFO: Do you live! together?
You probably aren't being firm enough. She is blatantly disrespecting your boundaries and not listening to you. Since telling her gently hasn't worked, she needs tough love. It's ultimatum time. Define how many days per week (on average) you will be available to her and stay firm. If you aren't feeling up for a visit, say no. If she is too touchy-feeling say stop and move away from her. Model what type and how much affection you like. Explain that not getting enough personal space will cause you to end the relationship. She needs to hear it.
You also need to be receptive of her needs too, but you two need compromise and balance. She is likely anxious and insecure, so suggest she gets therapy.
If you research narcissistic behavior, they will ruin a family thing on purpose. And then gaslight into a scapegoat thinking they did it. If this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, you may be in an abusive relationship.
The best luck at had at my job when someone sexually harrassed me was to tell him to quit or I would report. He said “You would report to our HR?” I said “No, I will talk to your wife.”
That ended it. You might have a little chat with him, or better yet email him and let him know he needs to stop and the next time you will first report it to his girlfriend and then HR. That gives you proof that you asked him to stop, too.
You can definitely tell about your experience’s, fuck people who can’t handle it.
What the heck, man. My one ex made me a home made valentines card. Show some appreciation.
She has expressed to you that she is bisexual, which should immediately signal to you that there is an increased likelihood that she will want to explore that realm.
This incident was not an accident, and you need to decide for yourself if continuing towards marriage with her is something you still want. You have now confirmed two things about her, one she cheated(assuming this was during your relationship), and two, she most definitely has the desire to explore. In other words, this may not be the first time and probably wont be the last.
It would be easier to rebuild your life than rebuild trust in her.
Idk personally I would invite her still. Unless you KNOW it's gonna spoil the wedding by fighting or causing a scene or something… But I understand, sometimes just because there your “family” doesn't mean that there really the best for you In any type of way. Toxic forreal. Hope everything turns out to be great for you with the wedding!! Have fun!!
She is also working. Probably around 60-70 hrs. But I end up looking after her and the pets. I have asked her to lend a hand in the chores but that goes away after a couple of days. I have brought up the friends issue (that she needs to hang out more with other friends). We recently moved cities as well after I got a new job(which again was predominantly because she wanted to move)