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This isn't a can't move together situation, it's a don't want to situation. I can see how that would be hurtful to her as well as to you. Someone needs to compromise or your relationship is probably doomed. She knows this.
3rd: he knowingly kept a video of him having sex with his ex
You’re a pos
Just because it is that way in “your world”, doesn't make it the real world. If many other people are telling you the opposite of what you believe, it doesn't mean they are all wrong and you are right. But if it makes you feel better to think so, carry on.
Damn this is some first world problems. I don't think I've ever been in a position to finance my own education, let alone my partner's (thankfully, though, the US govt knew I could handle that $67,000 loan at 18 years of age!!). Don't help someone out with something like this unless there is a lifelong commitment in place. Call me old fashioned, but I find it tacky that she even asked.
The facts are, she has money and it's tied up in investments. She would rather take your money than use her own money. This is selfish because after all is said and done, there is no benefit to you for doing this unless you end up getting married and combine your incomes and investments. Sure, after she finished school if you're still together, her being able to pay her half of the bills is a good thing, but as soon as you break-up, your investment into her education means nothing. Keep in mind, she has vocalized that she *can* pay for this on her own, she just doesn't *want* to because it sets her behind and she would much rather set YOU behind.
Of course, if you love her and want to do this, then it's your call, your money. Don't let anyone else tell you not to.
This is not okay. If she doesn’t want to be “the heavier one” she should try to get healthier and lose weight not try to drag you down with her. That’s not what a good partner does
Either your bff confessed his love for you
Or
Your fiance told him that you only have room for one bff and that will be your husband
Or they are secretly gay for each other and the fight was a breakup fight
You best friend could be in love with you or maybe with your fiancé.
Also, could be that one of them found out something awful that the other person did, but I don't know why they wouldn't let you know.
Anyway, you should stay your ground that one of them tells you what happened.
You just want him to treat her as lesser than him. That's the problem here. He's making a power move and trying to treat his significant other as a tenant. It's bizarre.
Let me see if I understand this….the rent from the other side of the duplex will be covering some of the mortgage, and he wants you to pay half? How much of the mortgage for HIS (sole & separate) property does he intend to pay? Sounds kinda like he wants to not be paying the mortgage at all and splitting the other bills.
By the way, ask a reputable mortgage specialist about this, but in most cases, you can be on the deed without being on mortgage and still qualify later as a first time buyer.
Don’t assume anything. ?
Well…dont go dating or marrying her children, nieces or grandchildren after this.. or it will go beyond gross…
She’ll love it
Love???? After a month?
Jesus dude. You are putting your health at risk sleeping with randos after a month without protection!
Did u not even think about your kid? Wtf if u get some bad std or hiv?
Did yall even get tested before u slept together???
Did u even consider getting pregnant??
You are fucking 27!! Not 17!!
You need to grow tf up honestly respectfully OP you are about to be a mother for the second fucking time.
How are u doing this shit?!
I'm not sure contacting the parents is a good idea, that could be so traumatizing for the kid. Who knows if the kid is even out to his parents or anyone. Definitely contact the police, but don't tell your ex you are contacting the police in case he does anything drastic.
She is cheating and gaslighting you
Your girlfriend is either having an affair or is his sugar baby. If it was innocent she should've been clear with you.
This times 100.
Also, arguing a lot is not “expected”, OP.
IT'S A ?, ESPECIALLY SO EARLY IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
Follow your dreams. The right guy will come along. (I met my SO at 28, got married at 29, and had a baby at 30. There was some arguing that I didn't heed and now we're separated. It's good for the kids and we are still civil and love each other, but my marriage and relationship and even some self-worth suffered. It's been a long and on-going journey back to myself.)
Heed your instincts. Please don't go through with a wedding. Come see the world and share your passions. You'll always regret it if you don't.
Best.
It doesn't sound as if either of you are fully committed to each other, and definitely not ready for a proposal. You can try honestly communicating, but think about whether you truly want to fix it, or merely think that's the appropriate thing to do.
Por que tienes 4 años casado con una persona que supuestamente no te satisface sexualmente? Tienes años en esta aplicación buscando montarle cachos a tu esposa pero ahora tienes consideración por ella? No tiene sentido
Dude is shit. Get out asap.
You can't change someone so you have to except him the way he is or leave leave him. People only change if they want to change. For you to trust him he has to give up every bit of privacy he has and constantly will have to show you reassurance you that you are the only living breathing thing for him, and ge is doing everything for the relationship. Thats how trust is regained. It's alot if work if he is even willing to do it. If he just casually says he's not gonna lie anymore and doesn't put action into it then my best guess the behavior will sneak back in. Those are your 3 choices. Change which is n/a, except or leave.
Your parents sound exactly like mine!
They’ve done a very good job of installing that guilt button in you. To the point where they can depend on you to press it yourself!
My husband and I aren’t going to have children quite yet but have discussed our plan will be as follows when we eventually get pregnant: -Wait to tell them until I’m about 6 months pregnant or more. -When they question why we didn’t tell them sooner tell them mum always said it’s bad luck to announce your pregnancy early (she has commented horrific things in the past that women somehow are at fault for the own miscarriage because they brought on bad luck by telling people). You could have a similar plan like you previously had trouble getting pregnant so wanted to wait until you were in the “safer” period. This also doubly tells them the baby was planned despite their disapproval. -Tell them the incorrect due date by giving them a month (not an actual date) a month after the real due date. This is easy because we live in another state and rarely see them. -Do not tell them when I go in to labour or when the baby is born. They will not know about it until we get home from the hospital. And it will be a text message. With no photos because my mother will post them on her public Facebook so she gets no pics lol. -Do not let them visit until we are ready which realistically for us would be 1-2 months after the baby is born.
I hope some of this helps you! Please see a therapist about your own transition into becoming a mother after having a difficult time with your own parents. Your child deserves it. Good luck!
Your toddler and grown adults are completely different, your child IS your responsibility. Other adults are not, if they forget something boo hoo, lesson learnt for them. They can figure it out. Who the hell in their right mind thinks it’s appropriate to plan a camping trip that’s probably days long for 30-50 people. Whoever comes can organise themselves if they don’t know what to do then they can ask prior. If not they’ll figure it out.
Maybe just hide it? Made me laugh though
Yeah, I once took a shower with my ex and as we were washing each other, I realized he doesn’t think 50% of the body is worth washing up.
I had to redo my shower.
In my opinion, I think the first trimester is the most crucial to development and you dont need the extra stress telling them would give you at this point. Plus unfortunately there is always the possibility that something could go south with the pregnancy and they seem like the type of weird/manipulative people to blame you and try to discourage you from trying again should that occur. If they complain about not knowing soon, maybe they should try being kinder people.
It sounds like your chemistry is not compatible.
Are you at the same university or is this another of those “long distance” relationships that usually end in disaster? It sounds like he’s fucking around, or at least planning to.
If you’re in a serious relationship and a drunken ex turns up at 10pm you tell them to leave. If you don’t tell them to leave you aren’t in a serious relationship. That’s all. He isn’t serious about you.
If you have any self respect you’ll stop wasting your energy and end this.
Oof. She is incredibly immature and wants to be a victim. She puts the onus of her decisions (and life in general it seems) on other people so she can avoid taking accountability for anything. Im not sure why you put up with this behavior.
Your reaction to this wasn't within the realm of acceptably “normal”. So you now know there's something wrong and you need to have a mental health assessment. Whether this guy stays with you forever really isn't nearly as important as you finding out if you need treatment of some kind. Never ignore your body's cries for help. He may not be around for the rest of your life but your mind will, so take care of it.
Not really. They want to do different things. Would you want to go out and watch somebody golf, hunt, or play video games? Hint: those are the activities he wants to do.
That’s because why her and these friends don’t like each other is the least relevant issue here. And she did come here and explained more details on that. But lets suppose she was the jerk who wronged this group of people for the sake of an argument. That STILL doesn’t make it okay for the man who claims to love her to do what he did which was 1. Kept her like a dirty secret. That’s very cowardly. 2. Sat back listening to others have roast fest about her. Because he is a coward that hides her. If he wasn’t a coward then he would have stood up and said “Hey, that’s my girlfriend you are talking about there and I don’t want you talking about her like that in front of me again. I get you don’t like her but that’s between you guys and her now knock it off.” OP asked if she made the right decision about breaking up with him (NOT is she right or wrong about her past grievances with his friends). And yes, as a matter of fact it is perfectly reasonable for people to make it a deal breaker if their partner hides them like a skeleton in the closet and sits around letting others trash talk them.
Shes going out with a teenager likely just out of school and tgen complains he has no money. I think OP is the problem for dating someone that young and not thinking about the consequences
You could just ask him wtf is up. No point in assuming and screwing yourself up over it. Then regardless of what he tells you never talk to him again.
He’s literally not fully formed, and 22 and 15 are essentially the same.
Sounds like he's got a whole lot of bullshit that isn't your problem yet and doesn't have to be.
Sounds like she has a personality disorder
Give him 30 days to get to stepping, after that block him on everything because you can damn well bet that he's going to be crying to get let back in.
Very well said.
Is post showing up? I don't see it on the thread?
Why does he still tell me he loves me, why does he still want me to rub his back in the mornings? Why does he do these things.. Why is he leading me on.. I don't understand.
Are you positive that’s why he’s your friend? Maybe he’s just friends with you and has a crush on your friend.
Your fear of having already wasted 5 years of your life will lead you to waste all of it. If you're determined to be in a relationship where you'll slowly question yourself, your sanity, your beauty, and your worth, then nobody can stop you. But babygirl when a man shows you who he is, believe him.
Also, if they're firing full time staff, there's no way OPs husband will be able to make any meaningful contribution with just 1/5 of the time one employee would have been working
I agree both of us are in the same situation and your advice is good in the sense that become her friend first and make her open up.
I have asked her if she wanted to continue her studies but she seems reluctant or not interested in doing so.
As far as confronting my parents goes,i have confonted them before they dont take any blame for this and say ultimately choise was mine but asking a 19 year old (at the time) to make the most important decision of his life is unfair.
Don't do that. That's way weird
By the first paragraph, I just stopped reading. If the relationship was meant to work, it would be working. If it’s taking a toll on your mental health, you need to leave that relationship and work on yourself. Seek therapy, exercise, go to the gym, do things you like doing.
No relationship should need to be worked on so much because it impacts your mental health. Marriage is one thing, but if you’re in a relationship, and it’s not working, and you’re not married, there’s the door.
I’m sure it’s not the advice you were looking for, but if anything messes with your mental health, you need to leave right away.
It’s entirely possible she is. That was my original thought when she had said all this, as it was THAT out of the blue. I could drive by her house, I’m just also not wanting to act creepy, especially if this is all caused by depression.
Let her go and move on. You knew you had shortcomings and yet did nothing about them while you were together, and then you act surprised when she dumped you, you can’t blame her for not taking your apology seriously.