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I think it's worth bringing up. I mean, what's the alternative? Breaking up anyway? If you want to give him another shot, bring it up. If not, tell him it's not working. He'll probably ask why though ?♂️
Doesn’t matter how smart you. If he acts like you are stupid or makes you feel stupid you should just leave and find someone who cares about you.
They’re training you to walk on eggshells.
Yes! Parents 1 job is to protect their kids! Not just one! All of their kids!
My mother would rip someone apart that hit me (especially when I was down) sibling or not. And I (40f)have 2. A brother (38) and sister (50)
You don't hit. You use your words. Your parents never taught your sister that and saying you deserve it is just awful! I'm a mom too and I would also rip anyone apart who paid a hand on any of my sons. They fought verbally when younger but never physically. When they did yell, I would separate them to calm then down, then we literally sat across the table from each other and would talk it out. FWIW? They are 22,22,18 and 7. And they all get along.
I cannot imagine letting one hit the other and doing nothing, then blaming the victim. And that is what you are in this situation. Please protect yourself and stay away from them when you leave. You deserve so much better but until they stop enabling your sister? That won't happen and you'll just get hurt again.
OP – read this ☝️comment 10 times.
If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one. Don’t ask anyone questions you’re not prepared to hear the answer to- otherwise you are fishing for compliments and being manipulative.
Now, Skippy there shouldn’t be dating a teenager when he’s clearly playing games either.
And one tidbit of advice… when you’ve found “the one” you don’t need to ask how you look. They are going to make you feel like a golden goddess, even when your nose is dripping snot and you’re dressed like a 400 truck driver. They will see your beauty all of the time and they will feel grateful that you’re theirs. They won’t be playing the “who’s hotter” game. Didn’t that stop when grade 6 ended?
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There is one where we live currently that I got into and I’m pretty sure he’s applying but I’m not sure where I want to go for college, I know I’m staying in state but the issue is he can’t get into the schools I’m applying to bc his gpa is too low
Maybe she had anxiety driving but not as bad and now she's having panic attacks about it out of nowhere.
That is 100% ridiculous and indicative of more controlling behavior to come. You should not put up with someone who is trying to dictate who you can see for your health, or someone who is so insecure with himself (and untrusting of you) to find this to be a problem.
Yeah its nude when you got hurt so much in the past. Present partner had nothing to do with it but its naked to trust. Hopefully you two can figure it out. I wish you the best.
He hurt himself by doing things that hurt and drove you away. Btw, you are people, and keep yourself in mind when you get into the ways of people pleasing.
” I know she has self esteem issues and other problems and the thought that these issues could lead to divorce possibly has me in a corner. It would destroy her”
Honestly, the picture you paint of her is not someone fragile, weak & insecure, but rather someone who leads a very scheduled & organized life, who has quite a temper on their shoulders, who carries a lot of anger and who lives very independently, so I'm not really sure why you're now suddenly deciding that she wouldn't be able to cope with a divorce & going alone. Are you sure this situation is not in fact the other way around? Because of 2 people in this relationship who sound insecure, beaten-down and struggling with anxiety (etc), its not her- its you.
With the way your wife treats you, it sounds like your wife views you with a fair bit of contempt and doesn't particularly respect you. There is so much snapping, so many biting comments, that its nude not to feel like a lot of the love & romance in your relationship died a long time ago. There is quite a lot of hostilty going on here.
“We do have good times and moments and all that. I feel like I'm only painting the negative”
Bad relationships don't have to be 100% bad all the time for them to be bad. In fact, a lot of very bad/toxic/unhealthy relationships have plenty of good times (and that's what makes it so difficult for people to get out of them). These are genuine conerns and feelings that you're experiencing, and it sounds like you have been carrying a lot of stress for a long time.
“I honestly don't know if she realized any of this and dont think she does, but i dont know if that matters or not.”
If your changed in some ways, would you want to be with her? Or do you think you are perhaps not actually that fundamentally well-suited to each other? Do you want to try in this relationship anymore, or have you checked out?
Whether you decide to stay with your wife or not, you're gonna have to talk about these problems. Don't make any rash decisions. Also, try and speak to your doctor about what you've been going through and let them know about the panic attacks as there are various techniques and medications that can help mitigate or prevent panic attacks.
If you're not happy in this relationship, then you need to end it for that reason. I know the other women opened up your eyes to what it could be like to be happy & carefree again, but you should also be careful not to rose-tint that moment too much. If you do leave your wife, you should definitely spend a lot of time being single, building yourself back up, finding yourself and learning how to like & love yourself again. There's a lot of issues going on here (and another woman is not going to solve them).
This 100%!
It’s Man AND Vibrator
Not Man VS Vibrator
Dang, I’m so bad at talking to girls I feel like an idiot. Do you think I should text her? Should I wait till I see her in person? Should I apologize and explain myself or should I just ask her on a date? What do you think?
Dude, at best, you'll never know if she'll just stay til it starts to get inconvenient, not even nude.
What other stuff might get parents tell her to do?
We always talked about marriage and kids and I’m on birth. Control and even if I get pregnant, I love him so much I’d probably keep it. He click on so many levels I dont want to throw this away. All my past Bfs are abusive or blatantly cheating so my idea of most men is… pretty bad. He might be my only shot. Everyone has slight red flags right? If we move somewhere more purple-ish he’d gl back to focusing on lgbt and pro choice rights? I’m 50/50 on reparations I just would never ever ever vote Republican but seems like he’s willing to risk it for his biscuit. We need to be on the same side again
My take is:
He doesn't want to marry you. He does not want to be your husband. he will not 'feel ready' to marry you.
I just get really sad because I love him so much
You can love someone and they still not be the partner for you.
and I’m afraid I’ll never get to experience that part of life.
Well I suggest you think about that statement. Are you afraid of not experiencing it with him? Or are you afraid of not experiencing it ever because…because why? Because society tells you that at 28 it's time for you to get married?
Please think about what YOU want – not what you think you are supposed to want. And if you really want to marry and have babies and what not, you'll need to find another man. Because you won't get those things from the man you are seeing now.
So either accept that and stay with him, or accept that and leave him.
Good luck OP.
Just out of curiosity for your life plan. When do you plan to properly date and have a regular BF?
this is the vibe i get. she wants constant reassurance shes attractive, so it makes sense that she would be eager to entertain male attention if it validates her attractiveness
What is friendship other than platonic love? I'm not sure what you mean by “I can't love him platonically,” there is either platonic love (friendship) or romantic love (relationship).
I'm still not 100% over all the shit my bf put me through and why we broke up in the first place.
Then you two should not be getting married until you figure out if you can work through this. If you want to stay with your boyfriend, go to couples counseling and commit to getting your relationship to a healthy place. If you don't, be honest with him and end things. There are really no other respectful options here.
Genuine question, as a guy, why not mention sex? The main purposes of birth control are period/hormone regulations and preventing pregnancy from sex.
If she isn’t using it for the period regulation then the only purpose is sex which the birth control is negatively affecting. It seems purely negative to stay on it
OP, you are in a lot of danger.
You are dating a gay/bisexual man who is in the military. He may not be out to his unit.
He proposed three and a half months after meeting you. And he has been pushing for sex for months.
I would tell you to report him to his CO but that could literally get him killed.
This guy is unstable. He is using you and he is escalating. He is armed and dangerous.
You should cut contact and tell him in no uncertain terms that if he contacts you again you will report him to the local base for harassment.
That’s a reach
Took the words right out of my mouth.
This is controlling, manipulative and emotionally abusive. He's doing his best to train you to fear disagreeing with him because you know your “punishment” will be to be cut off from him until he decides otherwise, at which point I expect he expects you to be grateful. It even sounds like he's now manufacturing reasons to keep stamping home the idea that disagreeing with him will lead to you being cut off.
Next, he's ripping you off financially. He wants regular access to streaming services? Then he can either share the cost or get his own. It's time to log out all devices and reset your passwords and not give them to him.
Finally he's actively slandering you to and isolating you from other people by rewriting history to make you some hellish, toxic girlfriend and him as the poor little lamb that you keep hurting. Not only does this get him lots of sympathy and attention, it also vastly reduces the number of people you can go to for help and support if/when he does something bad to you. Because who is going to listen to or help you when he's primed them to believe you are a raging ****?
Walk away. This type of behaviour tends to escalate over time and he likely won't change – and why would he? So far it's getting him everything he wants, when he wants it. Get out now before he does deep and long lasting damage to you.
Right? I’m Gen X, and I find her mom’s comments revolting. Either she’s getting something from this man or she hopes this man will financially take care of them and if her daughter has to be the sacrifice, so be it. Whatever it is, it’s disgusting; the daughter should very loudly tell him to fuck off and not speak to her again, and if mom has a problem with that, that’s too fucking bad.
Sorry to hear but I'd say you dodged a bullet there. If your SO who you were going to marry breaks off this fast, without talking or giving any kind of reason, over some 'friend', there wasn't much love involved on her side. it sounds very much like she just waited for a chance to jump boat and make it your 'fault'.
I never saw your comment though I did get a notification for it. The reason why I deleted my post was because of that exact reason I was getting notifications for posts, but then not actually seeing all of the comments. it’s happening with this post as well, I can not see all of the comments even though I’ve gotten notifications I e gotten them.
Why are you putting up with his shit?
Please don't blame yourself. I've been in car crashes and my back and neck are messed up. I've don't lots of physical therapy. Once I had a stroke and had to learn to walk again. I could blame someone for all my problems but my problems are because of choices I ultimately made. Also if you're in your late 20s and your knee isn't sore than are you even human?
Just put your ankle on your other knee and push down on your knee. It hurts because it's weak and tight. She needs to just exercise it and stretch it isn't a big deal.
Don't neat yourself up dude. You've been a good freind.and great person. She's either nagging you cause she likes you or she's just a shit person.
If you truly have a diagnosis of anxiety and depression you're either in treatment or you're being irresponsible. So talk to your therapist about this. If you're not currently seeing a therapist you need to start ASAP.
He had this issue I’m middle school, like an actual addiction, but when we met he didn’t watch porn and now we only watch together, a lot of this though makes me wonder if it’s in his own?