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she's for the streets brother, keep her there
the best thing she's done for you was give you full custody rights because your children seem very smart and kind
I dont know you personally but your experience sounds familiar to me, I think I know someone with the same struggles and it turned out they had adhd/asd, diagnosis is still ongoing there but there are similarities.
I'm not a psychologist, I have no experience of bpd, however I have experienced two different lives with asd in my family and a lot of what you're saying really sounds more like adhd/asd to me, rather than bpd. This may be because that's all I know.
I'd advise first of all to get yourself to a therapist. What you have experienced is bound to be affecting the way you interact. I'm not saying you are interacting incorrectly, but you do need a safe space to vent about everything.
You've also just come through that age where a lot of people break or lose contact with childhood friends etc, the early 20s really represent the major social shift for a lot of people, so dont be too naked on yourself, so much of this might he circumstantial.
Regarding the bf in particular, it sounds like perhaps he just wasnt putting the right effort into the relationship. I think your resentment there sounds perfectly normal.
Secondly, read up on asd. Its entirely possible to be the loveliest human, be a very functional member of society, but still find yourself ignored and turned away by a lot of society because the majority of so called “ordinary” folks (for want of a better word) can somehow sense your differences. Differences which are not at all obvious to you.
Also read up on adhd.
If either of those lead to a feeling of recognition in yourself then it might be worth looking for a diagnosis.
The thing about getting a diagnosis, or even just having an idea that you've discovered something about yourself might lead to you finding support and community from folks who understand.
It's also possible that you've just been incredibly unlucky and haven't met the best people, so much of our lives is influenced by circumstances and the circles we move in – but its definitely worth a bit of reading. Good luck my dear.
If you can prove this or get him to admit to it over text, then a restraining order will move him out immediately and you dont need to evict him.
I feel like maybe the babysitter saw or heard something that your wife didn't want her to and is afraid will get back to you.
It's not your responsibility to prevent them from killing themselves, but if you seriously believe they intend to kill themselves you can 5150 them and use the time they are in hospital to gtfo
This isn’t normal. It’s not that you’re needy. For some reason, though, you’re willing to stay with someone who’s not that great to you. I understand remembering the great beginning & thinking the relationship will go back to that, but it won’t. Not ever. You’ve held on for about 2 years too long.
Too bad so sad
I had no idea there was one! Thank you so much!!
Nothing matters here except for 2 points you bring up.
He never clarified that he meant adoptive children when you guys discussed kids. It is extremely concerning and touching on manipulation. He knew you had no idea he meant adoptive kids, because he us aware he never explained. He is most likely hoping that because you guys are married and you really want children, that you will simply agree to his adoption plan, lest you deal with a marriage fallout.
But actually the most concerning part, is the fact he only wishes to adopt asian children. This is fetishizing. I will say it again. This is fetishizing. THIS IS FETISHIZING. Wanting ONLY a child of an extremely infantilized and fetishized race is creepy af.
If your husband is in any way, shape, or form a fan of anime, kdramas, or kpop. The red flag becomes black and you run. That would signify a deeper rooted, and alarming, reason why he REQUIRES his adopted child be asian.
If not, its still weird and creepy to specify what race of baby you want.
I do agree, knowing what I know now they were too high.
what kinda details about her behavior would be helpful to help understand? also I think she knows what she is doing but is not manipulative, it seems like she like attention but only from guilt. when we broke up she seemed like she really wanted me to get mad at her, but I wouldn’t
Closure is something that happens in shitty fiction, not real life. Dump his ass, get therapy if you can, and find somebody new. That’s the only “closure”, you’re likely to get.
Poor also would encompass assets. She's probably comparing your income/assets to people that she knows or sees.
To be honest we rarely compare financials to people worse off than ourselves. Part of it is aligning with aspirantions, part of it is envy
Yes, his friends all know his girlfriend. OP is the side chick
So, this new friend basically said that he’d be willing to poop and pee his pants as to not leave your girlfriend by herself at a bar…
Tell her to send you screenshots, particularly the virginity comment.
Go to HR if that was from one of your coworkers. That one is definite sexual harassment.
Then ignore the haters at work.
You're there to get shit out the door, create satisfied customers, help ypir team leader out, then get paid. You're not there for people to like you and you're definitely not there to help jealous little shits feel better about their miserable boring lives.
Then tell NG haters are gonna hate and it's up to her to shut down the haters in any way she feel appropriate, personally you're not too concerned.
This is so many red flags it’s a parade. Who he is in person is the real him. Who he is afar is easy for him to mask. You’ve been dating under a year and he’s already dictating your wardrobe. This is how abuse starts. It’s not a punch to the face out of the gate. It’s a slow boil that erodes your sense of self and hand over as much of your power as you let him until he punches you and you still question if you should leave.
Yeah. He sounds like an asshole and a control freak. So many red flags. Dump him.
Get away while you still can, before he really hurts you and blames it on drinking
you provided for that other woman sexually by fucking her. that exclusive excuse is moot now. you established that you guys were in a relationship and you still chose to fuck someone else. there’s no coming back from that. like i said, break up with her, give her time to find a place, and leave her alone so she can find someone who respects her