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You're not “over emotional”. You have the emotions you have, which is completely human and normal. You may be struggling with a mental health thing, like some depression or anxiety, though. That's also a common human thing that's not your fault. What wouldn't be great is if you put the responsibility of pulling you out of your mental health episodes on your girlfriend. A partner can support, but that's too much to put all on her. Get to counseling/ psychiatry and start helping yourself at the same time that you work on this relationship.
If he doesn’t speak to his mother, friends and boss in the nasty tone that he uses with you, he absolutely can control it.
Stfu dude… you're looking for approval to act.
Does your boyfriend have anything creative that he's passionate about or does he do unsolicited kind things for others? Because the title sounds like something a person would say if they've never experienced this and seeing someone else doing it makes them self conscious. Like if he can convince you that you're somehow a bad person for getting gratification out of providing for others or doing something that is meaningful to you then he doesn't have to reflect on why he doesn't go those things. This is not a position a person would take if they truly loved you and wanted you to succeed and feel good in life. Throw the whole man out before he dismantles your self-esteem entirely.
I do understand that. Is there possibly a middle ground for this then? Where if the love of my life comes back I can have them back but without disrespecting myself?
Maybe idk I do the same and meet new people and fuck around (although i am grossed out by the fact) or maybe I tell her if she even so slightly tries to leave then it is over for ever? No second chances. What do you think?
Dump him
Seems extreme, but they all seem like a disaster.
I wouldn't want to have any part of them
But they’d ask how we know each other so we’d have to lie and I’m terrible at lying
In this relationship or looks like she will
I don't think so. He doesn't really care about what I eat and its not like he buys big amounts of food. I also asked him where he draws the line and he said that he thinks obesity is unattractive to him. So I guess he just thinks that chubbier bodies are the most attractive
If you don’t think he groomed you, I’m sorry, but you don’t fully know and understand what grooming is. This is not even subtle grooming this is flashing neon sign grooming. This is practically a copy paste of every grooming case of all time
Ummm if she’s pregnant it’s not yours dude…
If I spent time reporting every woman who complains about men's weight, age and ethnicity preferences then I wouldn't have any time to live my life. The venn diagram of women who want body positivity for fat women and women who have no sympathy for short men is a circle.
Well if anything will get your horny it’s 10 hours of school. Ever get off between class… during?
Everyone deserves happiness, but they have to put their heart and soul into it.
She is spoiled above all else
Exactly. And this Julia is not a teenager; she should know these kinds of basic boundaries.
Yeah this is a big ole yikes here for dad.
I understand her feelings because I had a similar childhood experience.
I hope she's able to get the help she needs to get the peace of mind back from being replaced.
I think I'm his partner and I want us to be happy.
so you get her committed. call suicide lone or whatever. i bet the boyfriend was the reason for the rage tantrum. you deserve better.
Honestly, sorry to say this, but for most guys if you initiate sex frequently they will be looking forward to coming home. Also, they experience the sex as you showing affection too, so you get a 2 for one that way. Don’t judge me ?
I do have a great memory, and can use google.
But sometimes a great memory isn’t so good.
Sir, that was rape.
Literal non issue dude. Anyone that cares about it is a certified moron.
Don’t do it man…. She hasn’t put in the last 9 yrs building those properties and just wants you to hand half over to her.. get a contract that says if divorce you get properties back fully or she has to pay for her half of the properties. Don’t just hand them over..
You’re going in at a loss and once she’s got career up and going may leave taking your properties with her or making you sell them to buy her out..
This is a lot more common than you might think. In high school and at several of my jobs, I've had amazing, close friends whose name I never got to a certain extent because we just vibed so well when we met after hanging out or something that it never came up.
I do not blame her. I just wish she would try to be less involved in our relationship and push her point of view onto it. I also understand he’s an adult and if he’s easily swayed by something someone says then it’s a ?
r/rant or r/brokenheart maybe?
In 15 years, your kids are going to wish you got divorced
Yeah, that wasn’t an “accident”
You're not overreacting. Dump her. Dump her now!
Yes! I can’t help but think my husband had to go 6+ weeks after each of our kids were born. A comment like that about cheating and I’d probably be in prison and him 6 feet under. Come on OP, she caused the injury and only 3 days in is talking about cheating? You deserve better!
Could they show up unannounced ?
Explain that to her. I mean, she's in your school as well, why is it naked for her to understand that portion?
You can try setting dates outside of the school, so that you can try being yourself a little more. I also came from a school that was very narrow minded so I know the struggle.
Honestly If the my mention it, just say “actually funny you mentioned it! This is yours, it seemed in good condition on the side of the road so I grabbed it lol”
Good idea! Both of you said some very cheesy one liners you will need to work through. But make sure you let her know how much you don’t like self harm comments and that that is what scared you off in the first place. Tell her adults who talk like that are a deal breaker for you because it shows they either are not mature enough or mentally stable enough to handle a relationship. Actual love does not involve running away at the very first sign of trouble (unless it is some thing abusive or cheating) which that cheesy phrase you followed encourages, it takes actual work, commitments, mutual respect, building and growing the relationship. Save the love something set it free phrase for when you see children trying to keep wild animals as pets.
It’s possible there was never OCD and he was just behaving that way to control you and see how far he could push.
If it’s the first time for you both I would probably say it’s nerves. It should get better as you become more comfortable with sex.
Blaming others for being ignorant.
And then you tell him he is wrong.
Did she though? She disagreed with him. Not the same thing at all.
You're right. He has learned behaviour. When a child grows up hearing that it usually continues in a generational pattern until someone breaks it. It sounds like he wants to but has triggers. It is not okay for him to treat you like that though and if you don't follow through with leaving his verbal abuse will carry on to your child.
You have to realise in yourself you are worth far more than been called names and been a pawn in the war going on within him. It doesn't mean he's a bad person, but he's not your person.
You've helped him plant the seeds of his breaking his past trauma, now it's time to move on and let someone else water them.
Relationships are about how you spend your time. If talking on the phone is enough for both partners, then more power to you. And there are obviously special cases, like deployed military or other remote work jobs, where you have to make do with the time you have.
But… I think such relationships are doomed to failure, if nothing changes. It's likely that extended remote conversations won't be enough for at least 1 partner, and they'll seek out physical contact with someone who is willing to be close to them.
Similar story to my wife and mine, she dumped me, more than once. I dated other women, her too occasionally.. ended up marrying her years later.
It doesn't always work out that way and it shouldn't. You'll find plenty of good matches out there. Keep dating when you're ready, that's important. Spend time with other women.
It's naked time think about moving on right this minute, trust me I've been there, but before you realize it you'll be in a great place.