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13 thoughts on “Sophie-4 online webcams for YOU!”
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Hello /u/Throwway42882,
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His brother just probably figures your into old guys so he just took his shot , who knows what your brother has told him behind your back , I bet it's not flattering
If you are going to stay you are going to have to let boyfriend know what brother did , brother is likely to spike your drink or something to take his turn
Will be interesting the reaction you get from boyfriend and you might find out if he actually cares or not.
But I have to admit 16 with 24 makes me want to throw a bit
I knew a girl who married into the last name Butt. She didn’t mind it. I would have, Ngl
Lots of this, OP.
I am Ukrainian; moved to US are a young age. I stand by total Ukrainian sovereignty and independence from Russia.
That said, I have cut contact with all but my immediate family, because everyone else is toxic. Yes, you helped my family escape Soviet Ukraine in the 80s; that doesn't mean I owe your son a cut of my salary, or continuing to put in a good word for him finding jobs, when he continuously proves himself incompetent.
What I have found is there is a lot of ingrained entitlement – and I can't speak for all Ukrainians, but in my experience – it doesn't matter how much you give, for some people they will keep asking for more, until you have nothing to give, and still shame you for not being supportive enough.
The right thing to do is embrace Western independence, be “selfish”, and be a good person, whatever that means to you. But don't give into their shaming you – they will suck you dry.
Is there a way to bring it up? Or hope he’ll change
This is a situation communication is going to have to resolve.
First of all I want to focus your attention to the examples you gave of what the ex did: all of them revolve around:
“if you love me”
Nothing you want to say includes that phrase. Maybe you're leaning towards “if you loved me, you'd say it” so just avoid that one and that's likely more than enough.
And avoid the concept not just the exact verbiage, if that wasn't clear.
Communicating your feelings about him should pretty much steer clear of that concept. You can say it, every now and then, or even in an “at least once” way. “I had to get this out at least once. Now I'm good and I can keep waiting for you.” Or whatever.
You shouldn't have to hold your feelings back. Communicating your feelings, at any time, regardless of what the feelings are, is an important part of healthy relationships.
It's very important that you discuss the whole 'words of affirmation' love language thing. Sometimes people have more than one love language and maybe an alternate can be used in the meantime, but, a relationship that isn't handling the love languages well is going to struggle. It's just as important for you to know of his love languages in turn.
So far all you've said about his feelings is that “he doesn't want to feel forced into it.” So don't.
You want to say it, so “how can I say it in a way that doesn't make you feel forced to say it back?” is a valid question. The “just once and I'm good for a while” might be one strategy, y'all can get creative and think of what works best for y'all.
But “words of affirmation is my love language, I need this from you to feel loved” is a talk to have. Again, maybe there are alternates that you can offer him as ways to make you feel loved, but if it's your love language, it's your love language. Yeah, that may make some pressure on him, but better to have that pressure out in the open and acknowledged than to hide it and bury it in the resentment yard.
Well… I'm not saying he will never. We are unable to control people's actions or thoughts.
I've been in relationships where they did cheat on me, betrayed me, ghosted me. Some of them had red flags, but some of them didn't left a single clue as to why they did it.
People are unpredictable. And we have to learn eventually that accepting love and entering a relationship is always another gamble that comes with a risk. And it is a risk you take out of love.
You trust them not to do things like that. But that doesn't mean they won't.
It may be difficult to understand, but this my perspective has changed over the years.
@13chase2, thank you for responding. I really appreciate you!
Ideally, I’d wait until we were married. But I could also mayyybe see myself considering it if we were really serious (several months)… I just feel like with good head and a don’t ask/don’t tell policy it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But, again, I guess that’s my naïvety showing…
The full panel is such a good idea! Thank you!
I didn’t call it, he did.
If she really wants to try again, you two shouldn't try to rekindle by moving back in together. You need to date each other, take your time, and see if you can get resolve the problems you had in the past. Having a significant difference in religion is one of those things. It's been a relationship ender for me… twice (I was the non-religious one).
You are coming off like it is her responsibility to tell you what to do. My suggestion is that you come up with ideas on how you can express your love, that she is loved. And don't quiz her on whether your idea will make her feel loved. Just do it, show some effort. Oh, did you apologise and promise to not do what is on her list? That would be the first place to start.
Everyone's focused on the lying… which sucks, but not all lies are equal.
This lie was worse than normal, because you wanted to “not fall for someone who is fucking someone else”… which… you know seems like a reasonable thing to want.
Her lie took your agency away. It is a big red flag that she thought that was ok. I wouldn't waste any more time. The right girl is not going to do this to you.
Boyfriend. Not husband. Leave.