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Well I don't think bragging about sleeping with another girl and how good the sex was is particularly respectful when you're two metres away from your partner? Fair enough in private with your close friends, but to your partner's friends? It just made me feel terrible and especially hearing the response: wow I'm happy for you congratulations…
Its possible she has a medical condition that looks like pregnancy. If that is the case she needs to see a doctor asap because most of those conditions are pretty serious.
I a self sufficient 25 year old year old woman. Financially independent since 19. You’re still a weirdo.
it’s a long story. they started hating him because we had s*x. then my dad hated him because ‘he told me to quit school’ even tho that’s not true, he said ‘don’t switch majors, finish what you’re doing first in case it doesn’t work out’. my mom doesn’t really have a reason, she doesn’t hate him but she is not his biggest fan. She also agrees I should live my life how I want. They were really controlling of me, so it wasn’t a healthy environment
You two are young, but you both need to grow up. This is suppose to be a loving relationship, and if you two are at each other…to where even the small things set one of you off….its not a good relationship…
I'd just say to grow up, and hopefully, you two can get to like each again…
Thanks for your advice. I think I'm going to bring up testing the next time we hang out so we both feel better about things just in case that's where his head was at
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You think she dramatic about your ex. Wait and see what happens when she finds out you kept this from both spouses.
He shouldn't be having sex. Just no. That's awful and I would 100% break up.
I will ask her to be involved but if she's comfortable (which I suspect she will be as we've spoken previously) I'll make the final choice so the ring itself
Make sure to keep it an open discussion…. material, type of setting, stone, budget, matching wedding ring….there are quite a few things to consider. Just going to a shop like Pandora to get some “input” isn't half as helpful as some people make it out to be.
It's not unusual for some couples to take months to find the perfect ring.
How do I kindly urge him to pay his fee? I don’t want to make him angry for challenging his decision, he can be stubborn. Or should I just let him do his thing and let his car get impounded?
Next time he threatens suicide, tell him that you’re going to let his wife know what has been going on so that she can keep an eye on him/check him into the hospital. He isn’t your responsibility.
Is this my responsibility?
Nope
It also sounds like she’s trying to frame it as being your “fault”, which it seems like it is far from
Why would it fall on you innthe first place?
First of all, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT make ANY decision based on how much it COSTS. You know what costs a LOT MORE? Divorce.
Yeah dude, it sounds like you need to slow down and get therapy. You don't take any responsibility for your actions in your story, your verbiage is all passive as if things “happened,” TO you… that's not accurate. You made a series of huge choices, seemingly at the whim of your feelings (crushes while married are totally normal… it's the ACTING on it that betrays a lack of insight or control.) You are in control of your actions, your emotions are not in control, but YOU don't seem to realize that. There are a lot of possibilities I can glean from your story, but the range is so vast about what has motivated this all, but whatever the cause, ALL possible issues need help and insight from a mental health professional.
The fact that you have a pattern of “waking up,” to a new life situation where you're not sure what you want means you're keeping your head in the sand about a lot. Time to take head of sand and look at the world with clear MENTALLY HEALTHY eyes. You shouldn't marry anyone until you understand clearly that the choices you make with cause changes that will affect your life in the future, and you feel like you can act intentionally.
You have a lot of maturing to do. Start by apologizing
Good point
Take the gift, that’s very nice and thoughtful of your girlfriend. If you’re going into your first tax season, you’re going to have plenty else to complain about, trust me. Good luck young padawan.
First of all, who pays the mortgage? If it's you, you need to insist on being added to the deed or it's a straight up D-I-V-O-R-C-E. She is controlling as hell and you're getting next to no benefits from this marriage.
the waiting list in my country is years long unfortunately we have a health crisis but thank you. I will see if i can access through my uni.
This is why you don’t catch feelings for Booty calls
How the fuck is he even thriving in Quebec???? Bon sang!
then why are you dating her? you obviously have mixed feelings about her
Because I had a feeling he was doing something I just wasn’t sure what it was. I just found out I thought he was cheating but this is worse.
Mhm but he was crying to me and said he loved me the other day. Not sure if either of us fully want to let it go and I want him to give it another chance just for a period of time, if he doesn’t believe I have changed he can leave.
Exactly!
No. If he didn’t want the job he shouldn’t pursue it and if he does want the job then he’s lucky to be referred.
The funny thing is. He’s exactly the reason girls just take a guys number instead of saying no. He has no self awareness and zero idea how to read a situation and take the hint ?
Yeah, I think birth control is a touchy subject even amongst women. There’s a lot of solidarity when it comes to the negative experiences but if it works well for you it just tends to not be talked about.
It took me a few tries to get it right, but when I did it changed my life drastically for the better. I have something similar to PCOS that causes cysts to form when I ovulate, except in my case the cysts are also intensely painful. It still comes with a lot of other classic hormonal imbalance stuff – the long, irregular, extremely heavy periods with debilitating cramps, severe acne, bloating, mood swings, etc.
On the pill I only have my period every 4 months, it’s super light and pain-free when I do have it, I gained a cup size, my skin cleared up. However, I’ve learned not to talk about how great the experience has been for me because it’s often met with a lot of snide “must be nice for you” type comments from people who tried it and had a bad experience (or know someone who did and assumed that experience was the norm).
And she only has his suspect word that “ex” got pregnant before their relationship, not during. Let's hope he's not married too.
Good for your that you have the texts to go against his word, you didn't assault him, you defended yourself since you did NOT consent to rough play and assumed that your life was in danger. Additionally, if he assumed you were rough playing, why didn't he assume that's how you play and went straight for assault…weird how it's assault when it's done to him.
Spotted 4 red flags here and counting. No – it's not wrong to let a friend stay at yours, but context is important for this story, and the obvious red flags waiver any trust in you as an innocent person in this.
Well, we did that process before. This last months was about that, sharing what we could improve and try to do something. I think for him it was okay but for me I still feel the same and I'm getting desperate.
She's probably never garnered butterflies from the acknowledgment of other women aka a mother's approval etc. There's probably not a single woman in her life who approves of her. A lack of inhibition from intoxication means her shyness isn't lack of anything to say (a mouse) it's an active suppression that if she is herself no one will accept her. She's basically living life with a gun to her personality to keep it under control. Girls night out is a real thing so going out with a few friends might do it for her. She's maybe had problems with boyfriends but since she only expresses to boys she'll just hop to a different boy to talk about her past boy problems instead of building something meaningful. Overall she just sounds scared to be herself. Insecure. Drugs give her power so she'll probably have a long life with those unless someone meaningful steps into her life. Her boyfriend just gets her what she wants, like the apology from you, so he needs to be a bit more stern. If you're her problem he should've told her some ways to handle it with you. Why is he dating a girl who'd he have to spend all his time solving her problems. This is on him to (her boyfriend).
Oh he wants a relationship alright. I think it's probably best if you start looking for your own way to get home from work now.
I see so many responses that literally give NO info or answers that don’t actually answer the question. Let me ask this so I can understand the situation more clearly: What happened in your marriage prior to this event? It seems unlikely that someone would ask their spouse for a divorce given only the fact that your were gone for a while and wouldn’t let her go through your phone. Did you cheat? Did she cheat? Why was there no trust before this?
That’s a really good point about them breaking the mold
Leave him be.
Are your cats adopted from a rescue?
When I left my abusive ex I took my two cats and put them in foster care with the rescue I adopted them from.
I reached out to the woman who runs the rescue and told her I was fleeing abuse, I was still in school for another 6 months, I didn't have secure housing (staying with friends), but that once I graduated I would do everything in my power to get an apartment and a job and take them back.
She told me that too many women stay in bad situations because of pets. They took my cats, let me see them every day for as long as I wanted, I didn't have to pay for anything, and I was able to pick them up a week after I moved into my apartment which was 2 weeks after I graduated, I was hired right out of school into my field. It was so much work to get to that point but so worth being able to leave.
If you can get help from a local rescue to foster your cats for a while that's a great chance to just get out and stay in a shelter if necessary.