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Model from: nl
Languages: en,de,nl
Birth Date: 1988-08-29
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityMixed
Hair color: hairColorOther
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureGamers
Become dead inside and eventually take your life. That's what you're asking. That's what you're asking to become. If that doesn't sound like the future you want for yourself then it's time to let go. You're his comfort zone. A sucker to work and pay for his living.
I’m curious why you haven’t broken up already? Yeah you had some good times at the beginning and maybe you’re hoping to get back to that but it is unlikely to do that. He frankly sounds unstable and a walking red flag
When your job makes you hate your life you need to quit your job.
Updateme!
Thanks for your comment. A couple of friends have said the same thing in not owing him anything so i won't send it.
Youre right about the anxiety, I was having counselling for awhile and have been working on my self. Its a long journey and I'm still learning the best ways to handle situations
Oh, I think the daughter can do better too. But she didn't post asking for advice.
Serious question, even though this really seems like a troll post:
Why is it so naked for you to accept that someone in a monogamous relationship might just not want to sleep with others? And why do you want to include others in your sex life?
Learn to manage your feelings. And don't ask questions of you aren't able to cope with an honest answer.
As someone who is also 23, and only just recently left the nest there are so many red flags here I'm sorry girl.
First, consider your age gap: two years is not a lot of time but lived experience can be quite different at these ages. Can this become leverage for financial or emotional abuse? It sounds like your partner likes to belittle you and condescend to you when you (rightfully) point out where he lacks maturity and responsibility. Independence is moot if you're not being responsible. Does he do this in other areas of your life too? Does he dismiss other complaints you have because you're “too young” to understand?
I may or may not have ADHD myself, I'm actively seeking out a medical opinion and I suffer from depression. I know all too well what it's like to be forgetful and not have energy. That said, mental health is a reason but never an excuse. At 25 and having lived on his own for what, the full 4 years? There's no excuse for not paying his bills and opening his mail and being a responsible adult. Forgetting to buy basic necessities like soap and food is not a normal responsible behavior and speaks to a lack of accountability (and subpar hygiene). Typically someone who lives on their own will be aware of when they're running low on something important and will stock up. If he, at 25, still hasn't figured out how to make a list or other ways to cope with forgetfulness, he's being irresponsible. It's not naked to come up with solutions for this, for example — I frequently employ colorful sticky notes, white board lists, and veggie fridge magnets to keep physical reminders around my apartment. Living together will not cause him to change this behavior, the responsibility of it will just fall to you.
Also PLEASE girl do not even CONSIDER marrying a man with the hopes of changing him. If he's not willing to change BEFORE you marry him, he will certainly NOT change once you're tied down. You are his partner NOT his mother and it's absolutely NOT your responsibility to “help” him clean and buy his groceries. That's setting yourself up for a life of him expecting you to ALWAYS clean and grocery shop while he slowly has less and less involvement in it because you're ✨better at it than I am✨ or whatever excuse we hear time and time again from husbands of married women. If you want to do it, by all means do, helping your partner is a kind thing to do. But don't let him take advantage of, or come to rely on, your kindness.
In regards to the mail thing, unpaid toll are not a “scam” and can come with serious penalties like license suspension, the inability to register your vehicle, fines, and jail time (depending on your state). Your license plate is scanned when you go through a toll and either credited to your EZ-Pass account or billed to mailing address on file with the DMV. If he moved, the bills would still follow him because you're legally required to register your change of address with the DMV (and it's wise to set up mail forwarding with the USPS.) If he doesn't notify the DMV of his change of address, that too will come with penalties. That said, most important things WILL come through the mail as that's the “official” means of contacting someone.
Blowing up on you for “stressing him out” was not cool. I would not tolerate being scolded or yelled at for something that was not my fault. Whether or not you tolerate that is up to you. In fact, finding out my partner has $900 in fines and they'd rather bury their head in the sand would be a deal breaker for me.
Do not bring a baby into this dysfunctional relationship. Whatever troubles you have, a baby will make 100x harder. If your partner is thinking about seeing someone else, you are probably going to end up a single parent with dead beat absent father to the child.
Personally, I think the only ways to deal with narcissists are to either gray rock/ignore them OR humiliate them into leaving you alone. And humiliating SIL would go a lot further in helping your wife’s issues, because ignoring it is just letting her “win”. If the rest of the family knows about this pattern, you might be able to stage an intervention.
To that end, you could always invite SIL over under the guise of starting an affair (with your wife’s permission, of course). Then, when she walks in the door in a racy top holding champagne, Bam! Everyone is seated in a circle, waiting for her. “SIL, why don’t you take a seat? We’ve noticed a pattern- you seem to be jealous of [OP wife], why does it bother you so much to see your sister happy? You’ve engaged in a pattern of sexual harassment to the point that OP is considering a restraining order, why are you doing this to your family?”
If she doesn’t run at the sight of it, she definitely won’t try this shit again, that’s for sure.
I’m sorry OP but I’m with your parents on this. Too big of an age gap, too many different things going on at those respective ages. I’d reconsider this relationship.
You are not a pos. You're a loving human being who is struggling with mental health issues. Leave a message or a note. If you vanish, he will always wonder what happened to you, if you are Ok, did someone abduct you, did you have an accident, did he run you off, ir if everything is his fault. Then there will be police involved, missing person reports and investigations.
I implore you not to do this, but I also believe everyone has the right to make their own choices. At least leave a note saying you love him but need to leave and probably won't return. At least he can have some closure and eventually move on with his life.
Ah. I checked the rules before I posted that comment just to be sure and hadn't noticed anything about that being a rule. Makes sense that it was an old rule that people still follow. Thanks for clearing that up.
Why would she lie about that?
To manipulate you into ending the break. What's especially crazy about this behavior is that she clearly didn't plan this out AT ALL and had no endgame in mind. If your father were alive the way she assumed obviously you'd confront him about supposedly telling your GF that you're cheating on her, at which point he would've said “what the hell are you talking about” and then it would've become this giant complicated lie where she had to keep pretending he said it and is lying now and just hope he didn't have an alibi or something.
This is one of the dumbest and most unsustainable attempts at manipulating someone that I've ever seen. I'm almost more offended by the stupidity of it than anything else.
I also need advise on what on Earth to say to her.
Honestly I don't see a point in saying anything to her. She has already revealed to you that she will tell outrageous lies for no real reason, so do you expect her to suddenly become honest when she's getting called out for her behavior? Doubtful. Whatever she says to you is extremely unlikely to be true, and besides you already know the truth: she did not run into your dad and she did not have that conversation. She'll either try to justify it, which is pointless because it's unjustifiable, or she'll try to tell a new lie to cover the last one. Either way I don't see much to be gained when you've already made the (wise) decision to break up with her. Why put yourself through another conversation with this lunatic?
Maybe he was looking to see how she puts her outfits together or he’s trying too be like her?
Our area. Yes. And that’s a 3 bedroom house not even a 4.
If you use sex as a weapon or as a bargening chip, this will ruin your marriage in the long run. That aside don't allow that behavior to continue and if he is not receptive you both need to seek professional counseling, not any dipshit like me commenting here.
You can date whoever you want to, but there is a microscopic chance that it’s a successful relationship