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How would they date outside of their community if they were honest upfront and say “I want to date you but we won't have a future together” ? That's a straight no from the girl unless there's something I don't see.
Soon to be ex-husband*
That's a rough history!
Thank you so much!
Dude delete it….
What’s the big deal even if it’s once a year?
It’s is a difference between being social with friends and having fun with some occasional drinks and getting completely wasted 2 days per week. His inability and unwillingness to do anything about it, his mood swings when he’s drunk, his routine to get “relaxed” – this is what makes it addiction. Saddest part about it that usually addicts don’t see any problem with it and it’s impossible to change anything because of that. Even you still in denial about seriousness of this situation. He IS an alcoholic. Sad truth
BUT now I'm seriously reconsidering this whole relationship
It sucks, but I think you're on the right track. Those aspirations of yours were never plausible to begin with.
I mean, you could go on a years-long struggle to root out this entrenched toxic codependency, but just walking away seems like the healthiest use of your time at this point.
He was just awful, saying he wants a partner not a lazy woman who just watches TikTok all day – except he was a lot more awful in the way he said and lots of swearing! He just came across as such a d**k
You realize there’s no mechanism for Justice in this department for men at all, not even in your most extreme scenario.
I think that proves very well that something is indeed wrong with the way the laws are structured around this.
yeah i remember when i started adhd medication i described it as being on a tiny dosage of mdma
There are no magic words to change him into the guy you want to be dating. You can express your needs, and see if he's interested in changing his behavior to address those needs. If he shows you that he's not, accept reality and decide if this is what you want.
She was not only planning it, she probably did it.
Remember Snapchat deletes messages unless they get saved, so anything there is gone.
End the relationship, send her to her parents and file for divorce.
Oh no, cheated on in teenage relationships!?! OP must be the only person that's ever happened to!
Been in the same situation before in the past. It gets easier. Just treat her right and be a good dude. Eventually they’ll come around. Some people never get over it but most do after enough time. Just be the best you can and focus on your girlfriend and making her happy. Try not to stress too much about what they think.
If you divorce just be aware she’ll try to do the same to you, so make sure to document everything, she’ll probably say you’re leaving her in order to chase a relationship w ex-babysitter or something
Have you SEEN kids?
Like really looked at them? They're horrible. They're noisy and expensive and poop. For 25 years.
I've seen homeless people treat their pets with more respect /serious. OP is shortly put an asshole
She is lonely and very isolated. She needs more of your time. Getting home every day at 7 or 8pm because you went to the gym is unacceptable at this point. Look up local Arab groups on Facebook and attend events with her.
I grew one for a stag weekend last year and my wife hated it, despite me thinking it looked pretty cool. I got rid of it soon afterwards when she asked me to (although, to be honest, it wasn't just her I was getting comments from).
However it's morphed into a kind of running joke that whenever we have to get into fancy dress for any reason (Halloween, themed parties or whatever) I will always pick a specific sort of outfit (70s American Detective, WW1 fighter pilot, countryside vicar) and then surprise her by coming out of the bathroom with a moustache just before we leave for the event. I'll generally keep it for a couple days afterwards then shave it before work.
Gurl. Don't you dare settle on someone that don't respect you. This is your life, your happiness your talking about. Never settle.
This reads as fake.
Even if it were FDA approved and reliably detected infection, it literally would not apply to most men and definitely not to OP since he did not receive anal sex.
Because trying to get her to change is you making YOUR insecurities HER problem.
Your insecurities are the real issue here. She likes you. You like her. You like her body (in person, which is what matters most). So everything is great. Nope. You are insecure and are surrounded by shallow friends whose opinions you respect more than your own. You are afraid of those friends’ judgement. So afraid, that you are trying to talk yourself into attempting to convince her to be different for you. You are ready to make your problem her problem.
AND you want to add to the mind fuck by explaining that it’s really for her that you are asking for these changes. Because of something something healthy lifestyle.
But say she says, okay, I’ll do it for you. Say she tries everything she can, but can’t keep the weight off. Are you ashamed of her? Yup! Does she get to be with someone who loves her more than his insecurities? Nope! Say she does lose her weight, but then goes through a stressful time after a family member dies and her weight creeps up. Are you fully supportive, or are you “reminding her to be healthy” (which she knows means that even though she is suffering loss, she can’t expect support unless she is a size whatever).
If she stays with you under these conditions You. Will. Make. Her. Eating. Issues. Worse.
All because you don’t want to deal with your own insecurities.
You did the right thing. Stop looking back unless you’re aiming for a doormat position.
It's an issue you can't fix. You can on-line with it or not. It is probably best that you not on-line with it and find someone else that is more compatible with you. Be happy.
People keep saying she might be autistic… but non-autistic people have meltdowns like this all the time…sometimes daily. I know this because I work in behavioral/mental health and literally see it. Someone could be chill as hell, just hanging with their peers and something will set them off and they'll do EXACTLY the same behaviors as OPs gf.
Did you ask him why he lied?
If this is a deal breaker for him, he is not a good person.
Wow that’s awful I’m so sorry that happened.
I went on a three week road trip with my best friend and her boyfriend, and she would always try to “catch me out” by commenting on how long I’d been in the bathroom, her boyfriend would be making fun of me for wanting a campsite with a toilet, or whatever. I’m not sure how they expected me to go 3 weeks without pooping but anyway. It was embarrassing enough to feel like my bathroom habits were being monitored, I cannot even imagine how you felt having your privacy violated like that.
In my case, I haven’t cut these people off, just distanced myself a bit, but in your case I think you need to break up with him. He has no respect for you and also, I was 21 when the above story happened, but you’ve said your boyfriend and his friends are in their late 20s. That’s far too old for this behaviour.
You pack her things, you put the outside, you change the lock. And you do it today, not tomorrow, no the day after.
Easy motherf***** peasy.
she said in a comment that high school starts at 11 where she lives
Thank you, I really dont understand why the sudden leap from me wanting to know if there is even a bit of interest on my friends part to me wanting to sleep with her. Tell me and point out to me where in my post did I insinuate that I just wanted to pump and dump? I'm certain wanting to see if there's mutual interest isn't just a straight man thing. Why is this world so hateful?
I am so glad I didn’t know about this without the update. Don’t know where OP lives but I love cats and I was so enraged I would’ve taken off work and traveled in order to help. And likely been jailed after confronting OP’s husband to find the truth and cat.
I think you know and you’ve done it, leave. Be careful though his actions makes him seem unstable.
My point was that he could’ve saved an additional $150k in the time that we were together in the relationship.
I done a more in-depth version of it
She’s mad. That’s extreme and controlling behaviour. Get away asap
We've gone on countless dates. It's just that I don't feel comfortable being physically affectionate when wearing our school uniform. Our school hates it when gossip is spread around town, they have an unhealthy obsession about their reputation. But unfortunately, most of the time we spend together is when we are in our school uniforms.
She gaslit and manipulated the shit out of you.
A partner that actually cares about you and notices if you are emotionally unavailable will talk to you. Not cheat on you and then blame it on you.
blinded by attachment. leave her or be comfortable in wondering if she's out cheating again for the rest of your relationship.
“Sexually autistic” is craaazyyy.
I responded
You’d have to give an example.
Regardless of the gender of the friend, partners typically come first where it makes sense. But if you’ve made a major swing away from your best friend, perhaps you’ve swung too far.
Hard to say without an example.
I (44F) talk to my friends and see my friends pretty regularly. If someone is having a bad day or an exciting day, I’m going to take that call or make plans to meet up if I can. My partner doesn’t need me to be at his beck and call all the time.
He knows that if it’s important, he’s my number one priority. But he doesn’t need to be number one every day. Sometimes I need to spend time with a friend or doing my hobby or doing my volunteer work.
Some people seem to really ditch their friends when they’re in a relationship and it’s not particularly healthy. Certainly not necessary.
Eh… it’s not cheating because they did take a break and she did tell him that for her, a break meant you could sleep with other people.
Then why did she in the same breath tell OP he couldn't even flirt with other people. Sounds like in her world the break meant SHE could fuck around not both could do so. So yes its cheating, especially since she was already emotionally cheating with her intended target.
The break is an excuse to go test the other guy out and see if she can get her new guy to commit while OP is on hold.
I am sorry you have a typo in the title–this gf of yours is 6, not 26, right?
Because she is ACTING like a 6 year old.
Yeah I definitely don’t either. I just don’t think this is normal, and I’m not sure how to deal with it or if it’s a deal breaker. Is it normal to just ignore this and wait it out? What if we both don’t change our minds?
I think you should (gently!) broach that the wording hurt you with her. Honestly from what you've written I think she meant it more in an affectionate way and not like small but like…idk, that sort of phrasing reads to me like what would be said about like, a cat or something you like, if that makes sense? Like I guess maybe that isn't as common for guys, but when women like something it isn't unusual to sort of like, not quite baby talk about it but sort of get “cute”…it's hard to explain lol I'm doing badly ANYWAY
it sounds like you two have a good relationship, so she'd probably want to know the wording took you out of it a bit for future reference. I think it's good for people to convey if something does or doesn't work for them in bed & it doesn't have to be dramatic or anything. If your partner loves & respects you it should be an easy if embarrassing conversation.