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Same. My wife actively uses my phone. We share a laptop with all our passwords saved. I have 2 other PCs in the house that have no locked passwords.
We also never go through each other's private conversations… It's called respecting your partner
I'm not sure at all. Like everyone else here, I'm just speculating, suggesting a possible scenario to OP that she may not have considered.
Leave him he does not love you. You don’t do this to someone you love.
What on Earth makes it immature? We do the things we like together, even if you believe the things we like to be immature that doesn't equal the relationship being immature. He was upset about something and communicated it, and I'm trying to find the best solution. What do you think couples are supposed to be doing? because to you: going out isn't enough, meeting my parents isn't enough, planning trips isn't enough, talking and enjoying their company isn't enough.
bro that is NOT how the cloud works?
Thank you, you've been the only person on here that has given me the advice that I need.
I'm going to look into it now, I'd never want her to feel afraid of me. It's the first and last time I will ever behave in that manner.
Thank you again for your help.
That just means you don’t have a rebuttal. I asked this because I wanted to reach out to my friend and instead you revealed how close minded you are. Goodbye!
This is not going to be a popular response since most of reddit thinks everyone with childhood trauma is OWED something. Almost everyone has some type of trauma in their lives.
You are being entitled. If you are in the US you should be getting unemployment benefits or disability. You are a grown woman. It is time to support yourself.
I get that you were homeless when you were little and all that trauma, but that doesn't make you any less of an adult who should be pulling your own weight today.
I am particularly bothered by your post as I've suffered clinical depression my whole life, the type where it takes an act of congress to just wake up and shower every day, but I have never not had a job or pulled my weight. I would be embarrassed to ask my parents for money. It was shameful to me.
BTW, all trauma is repairable if you want to fix it. It takes commitment to the process, but absolutely can get better.
To piggyback on your comment, he’s not been cheated on in every relationship. He’s accused every partner of cheating. Either they went out with friends, or had make co-workers, or dared to flirt with the server, grocery clerk, etc right in front of him! /s
Most likely.
You mentioned a cat cafe, the idea sounded cool, he went. Nothing about that stops you from going or taking a date there. “I heard about this from a friend” is a totally normal way to find a place to take a date, and other than mocking your roommates accent, the guy hasn’t really done anything wrong.
What happens if you say “meh, not a big fan of X” where X is the food or movie or whatever?
This seems like an odd issue to have…seems to me he’s being totally normal and you’re just very submissive instead of sharing your actual opinion.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for five months now. Everything has been great, he treats me like a queen, makes me feel safe and loved, communicates nicely, takes me on trips etc.
I've met his parents and they are both great, we talk about everything and they do not want to interfere in our relationship, they just support us.
My boyfriend has had a very hard life growing up, he was working since he was 5yo and still works a lot. He is financially stable and has his own farm, house and cars. He is well educated and knows many things.
My family, on the other hand, is a complete opposite. My mom has always been a victim who “did everything” to support me and my brother (I haven't had any financial support during college). She was always just helping my brother. My father doesn't care about anything. He has a job but gives some money to my brother (who lives separately with his fiancé) and keeps the rest to himself. I was always the one who paid all the bills, bought food and clothes for everyone and needed to provide for everything. When I was growing up I was more hungry than full. Nobody cared.
Now, my current boyfriend came over to bring me some sawdust (I have chickens) and my parents wanted to meet him. He was very polite and respectful, never said anything bad to them. He was a bit dirty since he was working all day long, but to them that's the end of the world.
He came over when we had a religious celebration last weekend and dressed nicely and was clean. My mom made jokes about how he needs to cook for her and bring her food.
Now, last Friday he came over again, bringing me the sawdust and wearing his work clothes. My mother and grandmother attacked me next morning for that. I just told them that I didn't care.
My mom asked him to take me, her and my brother's fiancé to see her parents who live in the countryside and have a farm as well. He accepted, of course, and she was extremely disrespectful and rude towards him, I told her to shut it and mind her own business.
When my grandma and grandpa saw my boyfriend, they made jokes about how I'm so much better looking than him, that I'm going to be his “slave” if we get married etc.
This morning, my grandma (who lives with us) started hysterically crying, calling him names and telling me I should be ashamed of myself for dating him, since he doesn't know how to dress. My father told me he was going to kill himself (I just told him to do it) and disown me if I continue this relationship. My mother was yelling at him, calling him the worst possible names, all because he doesn't dress how she likes and doesn't talk like we do (he is a bit old fashioned).
What should I do?
I find that type of humor distasteful, but…has your friend actually asked you to weigh in on his gf in any way?
So what's happened here is that you have invaded his privacy and broke his trust and that suggests two things. The first is that you either do not feel comfortable openly asking him about his activity or that you don't trust him enough to believe his answer. The second is that you are letting your insecurities get to you and push you into caring out a disrespectful act.
If you want to handle this the right way then you know what you need to do. You need to tell him that you looked through his phone and apologize for invading his privacy. Then you need to let him decide if he is comfortable caring on the relationship and decide for yourself if this is right for you. Based on his response to when your ex massaged you it sounds like neither of you trust each other and you can't have a relationship with someone you don't trust. Sadly, it is very very hard to truly regain mutual trust after its been broken and this will likely continue to impact your relationship whether you come clean or not.
I'm not judging you, we all do stupid stuff and we can't take it back. You can only choose who you want to be going forward and what kind of relationship you want to have. If you want one where your partner trusts you and you trust them, you can't have that if you continue to behave this way and get with partners who lash out about an ex messaging you.