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Thank you so much for your kind words. I really needed them!
For the dishes, if he doesn't wash them before bed, when does he wash them? Also, who generally has to cook next with them? Because if it's his night for dishes and he's also the next one cooking, he (likely) will have to wash stuff to be able to cook.
There's also a possibility of trying to implement a house rule that all dishes have to be done before bed. This may or may not work for you two. However if he's still getting the dishes washed before the next person needs to cook, I don't think he'll go for the rule (it wouldn't fly in my apartment lol).
As for the errands, I would try to balance the “partners share loads and so if they ask for a small thing you can do, then you should do it” with “don't accept the majority of what should be your partner's responsibility”. If you ask him to run small errands, does he? If he doesn't then that is a point of discussion and more reason for you to decline doing his errands.
Notice the age difference of this post lol, if you were significantly older than her bet you she wasn’t gonna cheat on you.
Yeah. You know exactly what you’re doing, and that you shouldn’t be talking to your ex. This whole having your cake and eating it too is ridiculous. Tell your fiancée so she can kick you to the curb and you and your ex can be together. If you won’t, then you straight up need yo cut contact with your ex. It won’t end well if you don’t.
Do you want to coparent with someone who acts like this? What effect do you think such behaviour will have on a young child?
Alcohol didn't make her cheat, she just got more comfortable acting how she wanted to act
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I am not on the spectrum and that would annoy the heck out of me. You asked him multiple times to stop, he didn’t. He saw you were having a physical reaction and didn’t care. This is childish and abusive behavior. I’m glad you realize hitting a person is wrong but he had it coming. He should be apologizing to you
I’m confused do you not just say no?
Return the decanter, cancel the Napa weekend trip (if you can), and go find someone who values you for you rather than for what jewelry and gifts you can give them.
You are absolutely correct. I don’t really have friendships outside of our relationship that are not our mutual friends. I am a different cultural background than him and I have always prioritized family over friendships. My sisters are my best friends and they recently moved here to be closer to me. He speaks to his family maybe once a month and it’s usually me forcing him to call. His friends are his family.
Oh sweetheart, there is no bachelor party
He’s insecure.
You were lovebombed my guy. Time to move on.
Thanks for the insight, when you're in these sorts of situations you know whats happening in front of you its just so naked to accept that it's from someone you love.
K-braithwaite's comment above is how you push for the paternity test ASAP without appearing suspicous! You say, “The math doesn't make sense to me, but I know you aren't lying. It makes me nervous that the baby is undersized and has a medical problem! Let's get the test now so the doctor's believe us when we say the baby should be the size of a 19-22 week old and that the small size is concerning.”
Thing is, most guys these days don't know how to do that off the bat, so it takes them a couple rejections to get the hang of it.
You started dating a man with a child. When you do this, there is ALWAYS a chance that the child will end up leaving with you full time..
His child should always come first – and if they don't, that is a HUGE red flag.
You can't really by yourself time. You have a decision to make – either learn to be a good 'step mom' or end the relationship.
Thank you for the added context. When phrasing it this way, it definitely seems as though she is a bit high maintenance and has very outdated beliefs what “roles” each sex fulfills in relationships. If you're indeed putting in the effort and she either responds to it negatively or not at all, then I can't see a path forward without some form of couple's counselling. Relationships are a dual effort endeavor, she has to be a team player. If she has certain standards, she has to communicate and find a rational middle ground with you in order to coexist.
Sometimes, people who've lost romantic feelings tend to try sabotaging the relationship with escalating trends of insidious behavior, intending to provoke their partners into breaking things off as they'd rather not be the one to initiate it. Typically from a toxic combination of fear, dishonesty and ego. Maybe that could be at play here. The only way to know for certain is to look at it at large and get a pulse for how she's feeling. If your gut tells you that she's giving up on the relationship and is just constantly seeking ways to tell you” you're just not good enough for me”, trust that instinct.
I wish you the best of luck! Try out new hobbies, join a book club, take nature walks, check out the farmer’s market. There’s so much out there that you can explore and enjoy on your own. You may find that you love taking care of plants. Perhaps bees bring you joy. Now is the time to discover what makes you happy, not who makes you happy. Make yourself happy and the right person will come along eventually.
Don’t be fucking weird. No means no, leave her alone.
Bruh if you are still smoking meth yes immediately get back into it. Meth, crack, heroine are the 3 drugs will immediately fuck up you life no matter how much control you think you have. You are literally throwing your life away for a high you need to really consider what is important in your life
Please break up with her. It took her less than 24 hours to tell you what to do with your money and want to quit her job so you could take care of her. Please give us an update.
Please man, he made that promise a decade ago, a lot of things can change and he certainly has changed, the amount you change in your 20's is mental. He probably did think they would move back, but life happens and you change and the things you want change.
You are the psycho. You hanged your man out like that and expect to get sympathy.
You two are done.
I appreciate the validation nonetheless! The rest of your comment is honeslty a bit misguided. I don’t think you have any concept of how counselling is supposed to happen. A therapist is a neutral party. They don’t side with anyone. If you had a different experience I sincerely hope that you reported them to your local regulatory board because that would be unethical. You can lose your license with that behavior. You have a lot of internalized misogyny and hatred for women in your comment.
It’s also a pretty terrible grift. By the time I’m licensed I’ll have spent nearly a decade in school to be paid a fraction of what many tradespeople get. Which is not to say tradespeople are less valuable (they are not), but that being a therapist is a horrible financial investment There are absolutely bad therapists. However, most therapists go into the field because of passion, not money.
OK look, feeling like this relationship does not have a future for you is plenty of reason to break up. He doesn't have to be a bad person in order for you to end it.
It's ok to break up with him. He will survive, and so will you. Just tell him you don't see a future together, though you care about him very much. Then do the mechanics of breaking up, such as another place to online or taking back your belongings.
Are you really surprised that her parents aren’t happy that a thirty year old man is dating their teenage daughter? Come on. I would be mortified too. She is barely out of high school! You are far too old for her, and getting into a situation where she carries on seeing you against her parents wishes will only end in tears.
What would you tell one of your clients that came to you with this story? Or one of your friends?
” bf can't keep his erection and instead of trying to get a solution blame op ” That's the actual Title
some people are just assholes. That doesnt mean you did something wrong. Sucks but it is better to know now than later. You can now put your time and effort into someone else and learn from this experience, then move on.
Negative…I declined to move in with him! I want to have a ring first..it is not going to end in disaster.
She is losing interest, so stop giving her lift and start to move on.
And the sad thing is while you made the best decision for you she will now be open season for the abuser.
Maybe let her family know so they can try and get her some help.
That's kind of how I feel as well, I feel guilty about trying to throw my friends off the track by denying something I know to be true.