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Baby trap you? You know what you are doing and how babies are made. You are trapping yourself. And repaying evil for evil makes you what? The good guy? Nope. That karma will swing right back around to you. And seems like you don't care about her anyway, she's just a whole for you to insert your immature little dick into. Grow up. Act like the almost adult you are. Tell her you're leaving and why, take your shit and go. No need to be a POS on top of everything else.
RUN, YOU FOOL !
It reminds me of men who go to strip clubs and then talk down about strippers. I have no problem with consenting adults doing consenting adult things, but to degrade the women and not the men in that situation is a ?. Talk to him about why he respects the men in that situation but not the woman. His answer might help him realize his own misogyny.
your brother is a complete fucking moron if he thought this was appropriate, even if it was related to the topic, linking it is still a stupid fucking idea. Link porn to a minor? seriously. he could've just avoided the whole thing.
It's an absolute shock to the system. Please do get to safety and take care of yourself.
In all honesty her family does gather often but she just excludes herself lol so maybe attending the birthday makes up for it? I usually let it be known about two weeks in advance which results in a yes, but come a week later she forgot there's someone's birthday coming up or gets invited, and attends that instead.
The symbolism is the daimond.
The symbolism is the ring, or any object/gesture etc. you and your future spouse agree on. It really doesn't matter if it's a diamond or not. Diamonds are overpriced, and ethically questionable, unless you go for vintage, or lab made ones.
We were able to resolve the abortion issue and he agreed that if an accidental pregnancy occurs we would raise the child.
Just because you “resolved” that issue doesn't mean you're not compatible. You want kids, he doesn't. You want X, he doesn't.
Again, WHY are you clincing onto this dysfunctional relationship? You and him are fundamentally incompatible, why force things?
Staying until the kids are older is setting a wrong example of what a healthy and happy relationship looks like. Either work trough it in marriage counseling or go your separate ways.
If you are with someone that you don’t trust enough to believe they are drugging you, best to just walk away now. Lots of things may not show on a standard drug test that could’ve caused this especially the longer the time has been since it happened. But seriously if you don’t trust this girl enough to think she’s potentially drugging you, just leave now.
Who cares?
10 guys 10 times, or 100 guys 1 time, no difference.
Why do guys get SO hung up on “body count”?
And I'm a guy, so, yeahhhh.
We were friends for a while and yeah initially I wasn’t physically attracted to him. But then feelings grew and then he became super attractive to me. 20 years on and he’s still super attractive to me and I still wanna jump his bones. ??
It's truly wild out here and makes no sense. Just because she did one thing contrary to her religious morals does not mean she should throw out her entire moral framework because she did something wrong. People go against their morals all the time, and should be allowed to return to them.
He's a 20 yr old male..
I recall being 20 and wanting it every day if I could get some. ? what do you expect, it's what young people do. You should be glad he is waiting till he comes home instead of fooling around at school with someone else.. just saying ?
Break up
Exactly. What people on the internet think of you from the very shallow impression they have of you doesn't have anything to do with your character. But worrying about it to this extent will put you in an early grave so just let it go man
Well, aren't you the enabler? Your son is 13 and throws tantrums? That include hitting his Mom? And what is your reaction to your GF's very wise and logical message to you? To end your relationship with her.
She is very, very lucky. Now she can find a partner who isn't raising a son who is escalating and has reached the point of violence. You should prepare for your son to start getting into serious trouble with the law in the near future. Likely, the first thing will involve seriously hurting his Mom. Then, possibly your daughter or a girl at school. After that, with no repercussions or help, the sky is going to be the limit for him. At least your GF can feel confident that she said something and that she won't be around for your son to punch.
OP, are you a teen or a young adult? I admire your want to help better the world and people in, we’re a mess. But telling people to stop it won’t get anywhere unfortunately, and sometimes that will do nothing in Irl. Anonymity gives people confidence to say things as horrible as you’ve seen.
Please, for your own health, I’d take a break for the internet. Focus on you, It’s worth it.
Dude, experience life! You deserve to be wanted. I’m 53. My guy n I have only been together for 8 months. The thought, and probably a fact, of him not lusting me is the most painful feeling ever. It does leave a person wondering how will or how can I get that feeling fulfilled.
Gotta be honest with yourself and your partner.
Dude, experience life! You deserve to be wanted. I’m 53. My guy n I have only been together for 8 months. The thought, and probably a fact, of him not lusting me is the most painful feeling ever. It does leave a person wondering how will or how can I get that feeling fulfilled.
Gotta be honest with yourself and your partner.
Dude, experience life! You deserve to be wanted. I’m 53. My guy n I have only been together for 8 months. The thought, and probably a fact, of him not lusting me is the most painful feeling ever. It does leave a person wondering how will or how can I get that feeling fulfilled.
Gotta be honest with yourself and your partner.
Dude, experience life! You deserve to be wanted. I’m 53. My guy n I have only been together for 8 months. The thought, and probably a fact, of him not lusting me is the most painful feeling ever. It does leave a person wondering how will or how can I get that feeling fulfilled.
Gotta be honest with yourself and your partner.
Dude, experience life! You deserve to be wanted. I’m 53. My guy n I have only been together for 8 months. The thought, and probably a fact, of him not lusting me is the most painful feeling ever. It does leave a person wondering how will or how can I get that feeling fulfilled.
Gotta be honest with yourself and your partner.
He's definitely not all that great and neither am I. I know we were both wrong for this affair and I do not want to have a relationship with him. I have broken up with my boyfriend but I have not been honest about the motivation behind it. I just can't break his heart. Thanks for your advice and honesty, I appreciate it.
Roommate is being unreasonable
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Girl. This needs to be in your original post. You are literally funding this assholes whole life. What do you get out of this relationship? He is a cheater and you are his sugar mommy. Why are you doing this to yourself? Is being alone with yourself so bad that you need to spoil a cheater?
You should consider you migh have a “type” when you are selecting potential partners. Unfortunately this “type” is also cheating one.
I don’t mind at all.
The father had his reasons and found it necessary. She’s not a victim because he got a dna test. He didn’t need consent to find out if the child he’s going to raise is his.
JFC does anyone try ro givre helpful advice? Y'all jump.straight to dump them. Divorce them etc.
I wouldn't be surprised if she got fired for that outburst. You don't confront customers like that period.
thats exactly the way i felt. yes i need therapy.. maybe i can learn to spot these signs earlier
Clearly not as well as you thought – I’d bet you never thought your husband would kick you out whilst pregnant, initiate divorce proceedings because of rumours and demand a paternity test?
Or is all that something expected – but cheating on his wife with his friends wife wouldn’t pass the morality bar…? Come on. Part of the problem here is that you are discovering you really dont know your husband – he’s not the man you thought he was.
Some things are irretrievably broken…
He should have never doubted you and put the words of another woman above yours.
He should have never thrown you out when you were carrying his child.
This man is worthless and you should only heal for yourself along with asking for a divorce.
You're not gonna ever be “wife material” to people like that. Just move on, and know they they're the problem.
Now, if you want to prepare yourself to be married, (and this goes for either sex), know some skills to manage things around the house, be willing to compromise, be accepting and caring even when you're also having a bad day, and also just don't get married to someone throwing up red flags. Any guy who says you lack marriage-ready qualities should support you to improve your skillset, not give a copout excuse to just say he isn't ready for that commitment.
These two don't live! together though. She already gets a few nights a week sleeping alone and now wants to do so while on a special night away.
Is this any of my business?
Of course it's not. Mind your business, yiu have absolutely no idea whats going on. Its not your place to get involved.
thank you, that's insghtful
Energy Vampires.
Let's discuss her reason for seeking reconciliation – that she made a mistake getting with her AP.. This isn't a declaration of love for you. This isn't even an apology. No concern for your feelings at all. This is “poor me, my AP was such a disappointment.”
He says for the most part she should be there for about 30 minutes or so after we get home. He understands on some days she can stay longer. I feel that 1-2 hours, three days a week isn’t that invasive.
Yeah this needs to be reported to the health department, these kids are going to be reinfested over and over and over. Not to mention she is now a part of the problem. If she cared for those kids or herself she'd do more to fix it.
We had over half a dozen people in our house growing up, 5 of them with LONG hair, 4 of them had intense curls/waves and thickness. We did more treatments and spent more time handling it. Because too many people would get it if we dropped the ball and we would get it back too. We even did this during a shortage of medicine due to an outbreak in our city so severe the government had to send the stuff to our council and we had to present proof we lived there to buy a bottle (and let me tell you with hair that long/thick a bottle was NOTHING).
Then the WHOLE house had to be vacuumed, very hot washed, disinfected, sprayed….it was a fucking nightmare. But we did it. Every time. Because not doing it is disgusting and spreads it to other people and comes back to you.
Just 2 that I know of
She's been friends with them before she started dating you. You need to chill out.
She can have guy friends. If you want to get to know them, ask her if you can join in on a game and meet her friends. Asking her not to hang out with any men is just ridiculous.
Honestly? This for me would be a dealbreaker for me, your mother sacrifices so so much for you, and she made sure you had the best childhood she could offer you despite her trauma. You sound like you grew up to be a well adjusted adult (well despite the controlling wife).
Do NOT let your wife do this to your mother, she does NOT need more trauma in her life to derail her from her lifelong recovery! This would break your poor mother, and she does not deserve that.
This is YOUR child too, YOU get a say in how it is raised and who is allowed to be around it.
I don’t know if I really love her or if I just do this cause she loves me.
I'm so sorry to say this… does she really love you, though? Based on what you shared, it sounds like she's been quite judgmental and trying to change you from the start. Love should be accepting a person for who they are, not trying to change them into what one wants them to be.
Does she get time for herself, like leaving the house, going out with friends, quiet place to read or do something. Have you tried talking about it when the situation isn't stressful and you can have a calm conversation
You must tell his family. Everything! He needs help desperately. As someone mentioned he may be in psychosis.
Communication is key. If it's still weighing on your mind just take him aside and ask him whatever it is that's bothering you (if hes checking them out all the time or whatever). To answer your question, I don't think it's normal. I think his response was a bit insensitive. With a question like that I think most men in a committed relationship would say Sure they're pretty but they're just friends. But every relationship treats those situations differently. If it's not bothering you, let it go
Being caught masturbating is embarrassing, regardless of the situation. There’s a good chance he’s embarrassed about being caught. If that’s the case, just move on. He may go to a different room to avoid waking you up. However, if you suspect he’s having video sex with another woman, that’s a huge difference. Don’t start throwing accusations Willy-nilly, wait until you have more proof. For the time being I’d take this at face value, you caught your man jerking it, and he’s embarrassed.
Just ask him out, even if it doesn't go anywhere you can still be homies.
Ok I want to ask you one thing ok . You have been with this woman for 3 years . And you state that there was a problem early on then again last week or when ever so let's say half of the 3 years there has been an issues trusting this woman and now it's just going to get worse
I can tell you that right now I .I was with my ex wife for 12 years we had it all new house a new truck a jeep 2 cars a boat , and 2 wave runners this was before I was 25 years old she was an electrical engineer. And I was starting a business went to school to be an elec engineer also . But I could make more money starting a business this was about 1996 we made over $200k a year back then my house cost me $61,590 it was brand new never lived in we had it all my wife cheated on me I called the first time I caught her I didn't ask any questions .just told her get the fuck out of my house I let her take everything except my truck my clothes , my bed and my tools .I even loaded it all in a U-Haul truck that I rented and unloaded it for her just to get her out . Back to my question now you think she is cheating which from where you said she is in my head no one grabs there phone like that turns the screen away from you and delete the message I would have grabbed that fking phone so fast it would have probably ended up broke but now she is let me guess she telling you ” he's just a good friend '” and ” your crazy I wouldn't cheat on you I love you ” am I right ? So 1 1/2 years of 3 your 27 yrs old now let's say out of the next 20 years you will be wondering what your wife is doing and who the fuck she's talking to and her hiding her phone for half thats is 10 years so by the time your 47 this will be a relationship that's only 23 yes you will be tripping on this women for 11 1/2 years .
So here's the question do you want to live! like that for the next 20 years sounds like a lot of fun for an idiot sorry not saying your an idiot just something to think about ..
Now if it were me and you plan on staying with this chick sit her down and say look I know what the fuck I saw and your telling me bunch of shit gaslighting me to think I didn't see what I read that right there is the one of the biggest red flags a cheater will do to there partner it's such a red flag you can see that bastard from the space station . She is going to tell you every excuse in the book then she's going to blame you when you get the truth
It sucks man your going to have to give her 2 ways to deal with this and neither of them are fun I'm no therapist or any thing but I've been through some shit married second time 4 1/2 later she is diagnosed with cancer passes away less than a year later. Then i hooked up with a woman I dated when I was like 16 or 15 for about 2 weeks ended up spending 11 1/2 years with her I've heard every excuse. Woman can think of I'm 54 yrs old now just something to think about but just my experience she's fucking around with someone or is about to
There's a free book live!, called 'why does he do that' by Lundy bancroft. I think you'll recognize a lot of your relationship in it, and it will help you see the patterns better so its harder to be manipulated. It's not a long read, but you'll probably find it changes a lot for you.
A Shakespearean tragedy is basically unfolding in front of you, it'd be weird if you WEREN'T afraid for her.
Or what if, she stays at home and only has his 401k to depend on in 25 years. OP don't be stupid protect yourself. Go in with hypothetical to protect yourself if he cheats and you're a sahm then the prenump says you get the house and alimony and he leaves.
Stuff like that! It's hypothetical why do people get offended at prenumps?
She eventually deleted her dating apps when I asked her to be my girlfriend but she was a big attention seeker.. her communication was good at times but sometimes not the best
I think you’re right with her not appreciating the efforts I was making as sometimes she’d say I appreciate you coming down but then say someone else could do that for her so it was strange..
It’s sad because I did state that I don’t speak to anyone else whilst speaking to someone and even when giving her the attention she needed she still felt the need to keep the apps
I felt like I’m at peace in a weird way because I know now that my decision to end it was a good decision and glad we didn’t get back together as she wasn’t a nice person, and it’s a shame as she seemed to show good qualities at times( understanding, caring sort of thing) I just wish I knew how she was before and going forward I think I need someone to match my standards , boundaries..someone who values my time and knows the effort I was putting in.. honestly made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough but travelling most days an hour and 30 mins especially after 8 hour shifts and sometimes I’d work 6 days a week, communicate with her well, made the effort in everything that I did for her and she thought I was being lazy or not trying very hot enough? That’s absurd I see it now and I told all my friends and family and they were like that’s crazy..thankyou for the advice and hope your week is fantastic
Living with your partner and having their parents coming over weekly – let alone multiple times a week – is a lot. It’s understandable she would be annoyed about it, but she’s not doing a very good job communicating that.
This is a pretty basic compatibility issue, and it sounds like you may be willing to talk about it (although maybe not willing to compromise) and she isn’t willing to talk about it. You two need to talk it through.
Time to stop doing things with your family!!
If they bring an event up, you and SO get your own tickets and say, see you there.
Don't let them treat your SO like crap!
You dated for 6-7 months then broke up
Got back together in October only 5 months this time.
Of course he isn’t ready, this should be put in the op so people have the full picture.
If this is something you truly want and he doesn’t then you have to think is this relationship is worth it for you
I don't know what to do. I'm hoping he'll maybe only go once, decide it's not for him and then that'll be the end of it. But his friend is the problem. He's asked my bf many times to go to church with him. And I don't think he'll accept a “not for me” response from my bf. I feel like he'll keep pushing it on him.
Go see a doctor for treatment
I had a man tell me after sex “I really didn’t expect it to feel like that after you told me you’d given birth, it was still tight”
Porn really has ruined the mentality of men, they’re out there thinking we can all take it up the butt with no preparation and if we don’t want that it’s because we’re afraid they’ll find out how “loose” we are in comparison
By the sound of it, your fwb isn't really the nicest person with accusing you of these things. While you might like him it might be a good idea to keep your distance if he's going to be accusing you of things. Because if you go out with him it's something that'll get worse.
Lying isn't great, no. But honestly you need to think about the situation if you're actually safe with this guy emotionally.
I agree
You need to stop listening to anything she says. What she says and does are not based on reality or what's best for anyone but herself. She will say anything to convince you that you should stay in this awful situation. She will do anything she can to make you feel like you're being a stupid, hateful, terrible person by leaving (even though she says you treat her so badly!). You need to ignore her.
It’s actually insane that your partner is dating someone an entire decade younger than them, then accused YOU of being a pedophile. She’s protecting.
It’s actually insane that your partner is dating someone an entire decade younger than them, then accused YOU of being a pedophile. She’s protecting.
Sigh please educated yourself, ffs google is freely available.
Update us!
I’m actually in a very similar boat as you. It’s really very hot to work on yourself when you’re in a relationship and I get that. I’m currently married and really trying to work on my stuff and be better but it’s naked in a relationship. But my wife loves me so much and supports me and we make it work. At the end of the day all you have is love and if the love is genuine, I think you should never get that up.
Women aren’t the only humans who are harmed by the patriarchy. You have been too. Look at you. You can’t even view a woman you love as a soul. Sad.
Why is it so important for you to be “right”?? You hurt her once and still felt the need to prove a point in such a humiliating way? Also why are you hanging with people that approve and participate when you're an asshole? These people looking at her Instagram with you should have shut you down too. Is this behavior coming from a need to be right? Or do you often try to make your girlfriend feel like she's reaching to deserve you? Wtf dude . Its good you want to work on it but you may need to sort this behavior out before you try to be anyone's boyfriend.
Congrats. You married a monster for your daughter.
I’ve met women like this before. Men do the same thing. Even though they say they know you are package deal, they only want you. They wanted to only like you long enough to put their claws in you and will now force a choice between “your past life” and “your current family”.
Say this phrase to her because it’s very important, but you better be able to back it up, “You make me chose; you lose”.
If you can’t back it up or say it, you better get used to a life of misery either because she wants to control you (“It’s my baby and she’s gonna do what she wants”), she wants to separate you from your daughter, or both.
No matter what, it’s going to be a lose/lose situation, but you need to decide what is lesser loss and run (don’t walk) to what you decide. Good luck.
Perfect gentleman would not be checking out other women while and commenting on them while out with you. And I’m out with my girlfriend, I am much older, I never would ever consider looking at other women while with her. The funny thing is, is that she will comment on some woman and tell me to look at them. Lol. And she’ll say something like doesn’t she have great boobs. What am I supposed to do, I end up looking and commenting on.. But even with those interactions, I still will not look at another woman until she asked me.
Why are you even married? Just cause you can doesn’t mean you should…
If you have any of the threats to your safety in writing, take them to the police. Once your safety is secured, tell her.
If the parents are abusive to her, they're going to be abusive to the grandchild as well. That's not a safe situation either way, and puts the kiddo directly in harm's way. If she chose 4 hours away, it's for a damn good reason.
I think you're so isolated that you're mentally attaching to the few people that you may run in to outside of your girlfriend. I don't think you're actually losing interest in her or have genuine interest in pursuing other women. And on top of that all of the things you enjoy doing you're not doing because they're at your place.
I would talk to her, but I wouldn't include the bit about thinking about other women until you've solved the isolation issue. Go hang out with your coworkers or something. You don't have to spend every hour of your free time at her place.
Maybe since you do spend so much time there you can ask her if it would be cool if you could bring some of your stuff over. Could turn into the “moving in” conversation though. It really just sounds like you need a hobby and to be around people that aren't your girlfriend.
Dude. Leave. Your wishes and feelings arent being considered or respected. LEAVE. RUN. I cannot out it more plainly than this. Honor yourself…
Do not reach out to the coworker directly. That’s so weird. I would be hugely uncomfortable if a coworker’s spouse called me asking why they were left out of an event that only employees were going to….
She might be a legit sex addict after 4 times my dick feels non existent dunno how you manage 7 in a day kudos