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A different breed of woman. I went out with a woman 25 years older than me and honestly it ended pretty weird. Not a great situation.
Ya I find that completely disrespectful towards you. When guys ask for my number I tell them I have a boyfriend and don't give them my number nor my Instagram. It sounds like she may like the attention and the validation guys give her. I'd tell her to go through and remove all the guys she gave it to from following her and to not do it again. I'd honestly consider leaving though. She clearly doesn't respect you and wants the validation from those guys. She's also leading them on, especially with Instagram where those guys are now going to have access to her and her photos which may be provocative and such depending on what she posts. Plus lots of guys would prefer Instagram over phone numbers for that reason
Appreciated
“I worry about her safety”
LOL. No you don’t! You worry about her getting laid by another man. If 1/2 the people on the trip were women, what would that matter? She could still cheat. Your insecurities are not her problem. She should dump you.
Dump her
Bit passive aggressive and entitled no?
Youve set a boundary i would like to ignore.. Let's try and manipulate you into doing something you aren't comfortable with in a more timely fashion for meee ?
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It sounds like she might be remorseful, but unfortunately she will not respect you if you take her back, consciously or subconsciously.
You gotta end it after cheating.
Why am I not seeing all replies? Only getting notification of them. Anyway, some seem to be hung up on people watching. She will look at individual people as well with no others in sight.
Thank you; I will check those out.
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Please note I said if she does not want to be there.
If she wants to be what I said very obviously does not apply, but if it is simply obligation and she doesn’t want to feel bad, then she should free herself of that. She doesn’t owe him anything.
Well, the first and utmost advice is to ditch such friends as you.
I bet, without anyone putting him down on a regular basis things will improve.
LMAO the age gap is a bit large for being that young but it’s not inherently problematic….although in this case yes
A lot of marriages that go through what theirs has don't last. Even with grief counselling…
I think you need to prioritise yourself and leave.
Go where you’ll be happy because it sure as hell isn’t with him and it isn’t in Utah.
How direct have you been, when it comes to spelling this out to her? As in, “Friend, we've talked about this, and I simply don't have the free time it takes for us to see each other as often as you'd like.” Don't offer reasons why (since you've already seen she will try to negotiate those away). Besides – she KNOWS those reasons already!
Here are my suggestions (in addition to the above):
Just because she calls or pings you are whatever, doesn't mean you have to answer. A ringing phone is an invitation, not a subpoena. If she complains or guilts you (“You don't want to be my friend! You're mean!”) assure her it is not personal. It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with what your life is like right now. Be clearer on your time constraints. If she wants to hang out, she can do it on your terms. “I can't go out tonight, I'm going over to my brother's to check on him. You're welcome to come with me!” Can you decide on a standing day/time that will work? You have brunch the first Sunday of the month or something? And if she gets pushy at other times, reply with “Wow that sounds X! Let's talk about it on Brunch Day. I have to go but see you then.” Keep in mind that if she is not listening to you, and is not respecting your time or your boundaries, maybe she's not the friend you think she is. It is also not your responsibility to make her uni 'experience' a good one. That's hers.
Good luck OP.
You’re not asking for too much, but you are asking it from a person who is not really that into you.
I’m sorry to be blunt, but this is the truth based on what you’ve written here. This guy doesn’t really want to be your boyfriend. He doesn’t seem to even like you or enjoy spending time with you. He seems mildly annoyed with you pretty much all the time, and resents having to do even the bare minimum.
I’m guessing he’s either too cowardly to break up and is waiting for you to do it, or is keeping you around for the sex until he meets someone else (again, I’m sorry to be blunt, but this is what the evidence points to).
I’m shocked that you’ve stayed around this long. None of this is normal. There is no purpose to being in a relationship with someone you have to force to be nice to you or spend time with you.
Do you even enjoy spending time with him? What do you get out of this?
Not wanting to be in pain is a more than valid reason to not want to have sex, and the fact that your fiance cares more about getting laid than he does about your health is very telling. Don't marry someone who is willing to cause you harm for their own pleasure.
I do know the kids come first and I do not want them to be part of his cycle of mania and poor money control. I've worked really hot making a savings with the childhood we've both come from of debt and poor choices. I don't ever want my kids to go through what I did or him
Did you tell him you feel uncomfortable with it? Communicate.
Damn what would she do for a bottle?
my support network are her friends, she's lost 2 because they've 'said' they want to sleep with me (spoiler, I know them pretty well, 1 would but i told my wife the minute i met that one that my gut says she's a bad one, the other one had a partner and had her own morals, she's said she wouldn't). as for my family, they're 4000 away and narsasstic as all hell. I do appreciate what you're saying but there's other underlying issues that are too numerous to list at this point
What I didn’t read in this post is what you want and what your goals are. Maybe, you should start by figuring that out and then see how it aligns with his goals before you turn your whole world upside down? What if your favourite country? Do you want to online in a big or small city? What do you see yourself in 5 years? What kind of work do you want after graduation? How important is it to be close to your family and friends? Do you want to move to his country? Can you see yourself living there?
Check your eyes cause you couldn't see the red on the flag
Hahaha the cops, is this guy retarded, why would they care.
If you told him you weren't into commitment then he probably took that at face value. How would he know you wanted more? I imagine he probably saw no future with you.
Ugh sorry
You're 20. Move on. Shes manipulative and sounds extremely immature and toxic. Not worth the energy
Wish I knew what it took to make someone fall in love with me : (
He wants something. You, free of any commitment or emotional investment.
In other words, he is being cruel and using you. You know that now…so don't allow it anymore. You deserve someone that chooses you. All of you.
You're young and naive. Not in a bad way. But you just dont know what you don't know. The fact that she still refers to you as her bf even though she not only lied but had sex with another guy that is a huge dealbreaker, however maybe forgivable for some. The problem is she has shown 0 self respect for you by still calling you her bf knowing damn well what she did and she is not owning up being mature about it. Instead she does something to attract a shit ton of attention. You have your hands full in the long run with this one. You go visit her and if anything stand firm on your decision show your support and make it clear to anyone that cares to listen that you are no longer the bf because this girl doesn't care about you only herself. Otherwise I will say people asking for advice are sometimes asking to here what they really want to hear. Maybe you have it in your mind you know what you want and want someone to reinforce that for you. Such as taking her back and everything might work out in the long run but thats ultimately your choice. Girls can be manipulative and family usually only ever supports their positions. Which the fact that the family isn't even acknowledging that hey she kind of fucked you over and yeah y'all are broken up, speaks volumes.