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I have told her that I’d be more than happy to stay with my Grandma and Grandpa 20 minutes away, but the problem is we have 2 dogs that we take care of, so I can’t leave them for extended periods of time. It’s just something to ride out till my brother leaves. Do I wish it was different? Yep, but it’s just something I have to deal with till I graduate and go into the AF(to a different base my brother is at??)
Yea, well, I've been practicing law for 20 years and I wasn't arguing with you, but providing information to the OP that is more accurate. So, it's whatever.
It's easy to be well intentioned until it's not. If you go for it it could be a good idea to put your intentions on the table first so either party don't end up in some awkward post-nut clarity situation.
Ohhhhhhh – apologies – NM! i thought you meant she should go and do the dishes ? sorry.
Wish this was around when I had this problem.
Search Digital Wellbeing under settings (android).
It displays the screen time usage by app.
You both need to monitor the time you both use for games & entertainment, yes social media like reddit, is entertainment.
Then you need to come to an agreement of what is an acceptable amount of time to spend alone & together.
Due to the social aspect of your game playing, you need to discuss and may need to tailor this to your specific familial situation.
Are you sure he just doesn't have a kink for dick and trans women is the way to get it without entering gay territory?
Either way, take out the trans element. He wants threesome and pushes you to do it.
That's a big no-no
Her comment is a little out-of-line for sure but asking someone for sex when they’ve openly told you they’re repulsed by it is a little odd.
People are definitely willing to make more compromises/act like they can make certain compromises in the beginning of a relationship and then slowly set more clear boundaries down the line.
I think in the beginning she made it sound more like she was closer to being indifferent to it, and anything she’s consented to is ultimately her decision. But it sounds like she’s being pretty clear now that it’s something she’s not okay with at all. Hopefully you’re not interested in pressing someone to have sex they really don’t want to have, so you have to come to the conclusion that asking about it at all is out of the question. And then you have to figure out if you’re okay being in a relationship like that.
F isn’t your problem nor is M. It’s your BF that is the problem. He lets someone talk about you like “you need to control your woman” but he doesn’t see that if he doesn’t cross boundaries there would be nothing to control. This situation must be exhausting. What worries me the most is that your BF even after all that has happened doesn’t see that F is a danger to his relationship. I always say that when a man is even putting someone else’s feelings above his own families feelings ( and you as his girlfriend is his family) then he is choosing someone else above you. Your BF should always tend to your needs first then only to someone else’s and tending to someone else’s needs should never go at your expense, nor financially nor emotionally nor physically. I know you say that you have a good relationship otherwise, but it won’t last. He is putting F before you. Even if you were wrong about F and he was write. He still should have listen to you and should have done what you wanted because he chose you and with that comes the responsibility to put your needs first. Who’s going to guarantee you that he won’t do it again? Next time another F comes along and you don’t feel okay with it, who is goi to guarantee that you won’t end up in a situation like this again? He should make a clear commitment to you that he will never disregard your feelings again when feeling with someone else. If someone makes you uncomfortable then he should think about that first, your perception n ook matter how different from his, is your reality and should be his as well. If not he is choosing others above you! That means that they are more important to him than you!
Alot of women go through this same thing I dated a girl for years knew she was bi after like 6 years so came out to me and said she thought she was gay . I had always wondered because she would have orgasms but sometimes it was like she wasn't in the same room . I understand and was supportive of her and her sexuality now she is actually with the same woman she met when we were together . It hurt to let her go of course but I got over it pretty quick thinking I would be in a bad spot if it would it would have went on for ever some women go 30 yr marriages before they come out so you need to sit down with your boy friend and talk to him about it . You only on-line once time enjoy it to the most you can
His response was overly violent but your behavior was inappropriate too. When someone tells you not to touch them, don't violate their consent. He told you not to touch him and you did it anyway. Completely unacceptable. If he has never reacted like this before, then I would probably have a conversation with him about it and look into counseling. If he's been aggressive before, then I would view it as a problem that I wouldn't come back from. But if this was an isolated reaction to being touched against his express wishes, then you both need to go to counseling to deal with your refusal to respect boundaries and his extreme reaction.
She did. She wrote out exactly what she does. He didn’t change.
The only silver lining in this mess is that you found out what kind of guy he is now. Do what you will with information.
And I'm so sorry for your loss.
Did I do the right thing by sticking to my guns and ending the relationship?
Yeah, it's important to be on the same page about things like this. “If I get pregnant, I'm having your baby and moving across the country” isn't going to be ideal for most people.
1) do you have a job? 2) do you have your own house? 3) do you have your own car? 4) do you clean after yourself? 5) do you put your own laundry? 6) do you cook for yourself? 7) if you fuck up and get pregnant which person are you going to ask money for the abortion or to keep the baby? Your mother's!!! So hell no!!! 8) if you fuck up and get a disease? When you start doing adult responsibilities then she is going to respect you like an adult!!!! Until then you are a child living under her roof with her money and her protective behaviour.
Learn some empathy and if you don’t like her leave her alone
Hey man, been there, done that.
Listen to someone who's lived this life: she isn't going to get better. She'll probably never get better.
It's a hot pill to swallow, but many addicts follow their vice into oblivion. Maybe most. It doesn't get better.
She might say, 'oh, I'll cut back,' or 'I'm really going to stop this time!' and maybe they do, for a week. Then they start hiding their drinking. They start lying and sneaking.
That's when you know it's too late. You'll become the sheriff of your relationship, trying to keep her honest, and it's going to ruin the dynamic.
Just leave, man. Trust me.
I actually quite like this as a first step if he tries again when she returns to work.
Which would probably trigger a fear that staying with him means she's always going to be at risk of losing people in her life, considering she's already lost her whole family
I can completely relate to this. My ex talked like this all the time. I came to realize it was a sign of his insecurity, where he needed to be the center of attention. And I found myself sometimes embarrassed about how clueless he was to other people (not just me). I never said anything and just kept quiet, which is not the right thing to do. Or when I couldn’t stand it anymore, I just butt in and interrupt him. Also not the right thing! It’s good you are talking about it. But it might be interesting to ask her how other people see her – don’t make it about you – instead try to understand why she tries to dominate so much. There is probably some need that isn’t being met and that how you learn to understand and support each other. Good luck !
She has cheated on you.
I will not tell you whether to stay or go. However I can address what would it take for you staying to not completely insane.
She cuts this “friend” off, here there can be no nehotistion. If she refuses to go no contact you should just leave.
Second if she blames alcohol, then she admits she is prone to cheat on you while drunk. For you to stst she needs to agree to never get drunk without ypu around.
Finally you need to establish firmly what your boundaries are. I suggedt making things like kissing other people sth off limit.
You really should stop being so fucking weird. When I have casual friends or acquaintances I reach out to see if they want to hang when I’m in their city. Like get a grip dude you’re too old for this
Idk why you're getting downvoted but I also think it's weird people are taking a random redditors advice over that of OP's actual doctor, as my first thought after reading the post was “well, what does your doctor think?” Not every life threatening issue is a guarantee that it'll happen again the next time. It could be perfectly fine and the only real issue at this point would be her husband's trauma.
Do not feel compelled to agree to anything sexual with anyone unless you are 100% into it. You are spot on here with your reservations, because what he is fantasising about is absolutely incestuous.
You either can or can't be friends.
Tell him how you feel? perhaps need more time before that if at all?
If he won't rekindle the fire, date someone else and forget about it.