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Do this and update us on how it goes!!!!
> I just don’t understand how he can be horny after I had just gotten done crying and needed >hugs not to fuck.
There are three things I can think of, neither of which are pleasant to hear, and for that, I'm sorry.
1) you have to say no. And repeat it, as necessary.
2) he doesn't care
3) he does care, but has no idea you felt this way because you've never said it aloud
First and foremost, OP, you have to work on yourself. Tbh, I'm not even sure you should be in a relationship – from the tone of this post, you sound very wounded, and I think you should focus on healing yourself rather than supporting someone else.
If you want to be done with her, it's totally your call. You don't need a reason. It's enough if you're no longer wanting her. It just doesn't seem she has done anything wrong.
Not at all actually. You just don’t want to hear the truth about you not being special just because your pregnant. You don’t have a say in her life. You don’t have a say in her phone usage. You are not being a decent friend because of your addiction problems. You should work on those addiction problems instead of worrying about everyone else so you can be a parent.
Have you ever tried living and being on your own, single with no partner and then do exetensive therapy? You need to get out of that relationship and try to be on your own until therapy really helps you. You are in a vicious cycle and being with those toxic people and youself being not at a healthy point in your life – you need a clean slate. A positive relationship is an add-on to an already healthy and happy life. You will never be in a happy relationship with all that baggage you are carrying around.
You were taken advantage of, 100%.
My genuine advice would be to speak to a professional counsellor/therapist/whatever they call it where you on-line, and work to get to the bottom of why you can't seem to let these old contacts go.
And buy your wife some flowers. ⚘️
Yeah truly don’t think she’d ask me to come to the bathroom with her so she could give a 4 minute bj. Possible coke
10mins is quite normal i'd say perhaps give him a bj when he is tired / sleepy make him comfortable like instead of him being monkey as in saying sex now and other times Just not interested , do other tactics different strats also how do you initiate? Like perhaps that's need some change
The OP says that everyone in his family is upset because he wants to break up. So he told his family about the threesome?
OP: Mom, dad, we had a threesome and I didn't like it and I want to break up.
Mom: You apologize to her – and him – and grow up.
Dad: No son of mine backs down from a threesome!
Mom: And you can't come home because we converted your room to a prayer room.
This sounds like it was written by a dude.
He stated in previous comments that it doesn't irritate her, it's just an appearance thing…she just doesn't like the way it looks lol. That's what made me start talking about preferences. But yeah, it's just not her thing, and he's just gotta accept that lol. Doesn't mean he can't do it, of course, but she's never gonna like it lol
I think you’re really reaching here. Not every man is controlling, and OP is merely concerned that the reality of his wife losing to their son does not match her insistence that she’s playing her best. Geez, lighten up on men a bit. They’ve got enough to answer for, you don’t need to pile it on.
Of course the one you’re interested in is a “long time friend”, but people don’t believe it when they say men & women can’t be friends ?
I feel this ♥️
Your wife sounds terrible, and you sound irresponsible.
“Find yourself” in providing for your children and taking care of your responsibilities.
You don't have to be in this marriage. It's time to have a frank conversation with your wife about responsibilities she about the fact that you are not a given in her life, and she should approach things with that understanding.
Also, have a conversation with a lawyer.
All marriages are some sort of compromise. Reading through your account, it looks like you got cold feet after she got pregnant because of the potential added responsibilities that would be upon you soon. It's a cowardly thing up do, to wait until she's pregnant and then abandoning her and a 10 year old relationship along with it.
She’s not sad about what she did, she’s sad she got caught. don’t confuse those
I never planned to sweep it under the rug. I was just scared at first and have stewed on it for way too long. I was just asking for advice.
It feels like a very cop-out excuse whenever someone throws the “we haven't declared it official” line in shit like this like they haven't already been more or less exclusive to a reasonable rxpectation. It's life, not some kinda court/detective drama where a surprise witness comes in with a contract missing a signature and the judge is all “Ohhhhh snap, case dismissed!”
There's a saying that is as true today as it was when I was a kid. What you think first is how you were raised to be, what you think next is who you learned to be. In the parents case, they were obviously raised homophobic, but the fact they've never shown that to your brother does show that they at least aren't the sort who go on the attack constantly.
Sadly you never unlearn prejudices; you only learn how bad and wrong they are and therefore to act differently than you were taught, but the prejudice itself still simmers under the surface. Tangent here: the aim, of course, is to keep that hidden away and raise your kids without it so that they aren't as poisoned as you were.
So no, it's not an appropriate reaction by any measure. However, if they are homophobic to that degree, and they were caught off guard, it is kind of an understandable one. That your husband's first reaction was that she should have warned them up front says something along the lines of he “knows what they're like and how they'd react and that it might have been different with that prior warning”.
As for the rest of it, I'll preface this by saying I wasn't there and am just going on your description of events. Honestly, it sounds like he leapt to his parents defence when you were rightly horrified at their actions, and then rolled himself up in a little ball of their hatred during the fight while trying to defend an honour they stamped on with that hate.
I'd talk to him and tell him calmly that this is an important issue for you and ask him to talk to you calmly about it. No accusations, no name calling, no telling him how wrong they clearly are, and no apologies expected from either side. You go in expecting that and you'll get one person maybe acquiescing to another to end the argument. Instead, go in trying to understand the position he actually holds, where he stands compared to his parents, and his actual thoughts and feelings on LGBTQ+ people. And while you won't be telling him this part, you do need to fully understand those feelings and how he's going to handle them if only because it's going to determine whether this is someone worth staying with.
And if he is and he was caught up in the heat of the moment, maybe make your place a safe space for his sister to bring her girlfriend. Because, quite frankly, he owes her that.
I agree. “Thank you for being good to me too”
This is what you focus on in this story? Ok
When your relationships end so does your consent to have their videos and nudes.
Deleted that shit off your phone. I don't even know if this is something I'd be able to get past. She's probably thinking about why you even have those videos still.
Yes you fucked up.
She is about to go to the same place that resulted in the fight 2 years ago. So yeah, she is thinking about or going to cheat and wants to see his phone for some excuse to justify in her brain what she is going to do.
Read The Gift of Fear. Once you've told him to leave you alone, don't respond to any more of his messages. Save them in case he escalates and you need to report him to go the police.
Does he work in the morning?
Just go with them.have some fun