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Did you guys agree that he would actually pay u back (like a loan) for that money? Or was it I’ll help you out and you didn’t talk about the expectations of repayment? Bc if the role were reversed I’m not sure many guys would collect on that.
Paying/having a loan with an SO usually doesn’t workout great. Maybe just ask him to pick up the tab for groceries or toiletries that get to about 1k over time and then call it even? Also it’s only his first paycheck.
NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. DO NOT cosign. If he had handled money responsibly like you said, his credit score wouldn't be low.
He needs to take the insurance money from the other driver and buy a car for THAT amount of money or whatever he has in his savings. That's the only option for him here. YOU cosigning cannot be an option and if he loves you, he will understand your decision.
If you are even THINKING about doing anything like this, the only way to legally protect yourself is to buy a car with a loan in YOUR name only. His name will NOT be on the title or the loan. As long as he makes the payments to you every month and pays for repairs, insurance, etc, he gets to keep the car. Otherwise, it's your car and you take it back, which is easy if it's in your name. That way you also make sure the payments are made on time instead of him missing payments before you even realize it.
Have you never discussed marriage in those 6 years?
Years ago in Northern California a couple lived together for over 25 years in a house owned by the man, they told their friends that a marriage is just a piece of paper, love was all they needed. The man suddenly passed away at age 62 and because he left no will and they were not married his house and savings were given to his 2 siblings whom he has not spoken to for decades. The “girlfriend,” age 60 plus was left homeless and penniless. Marriage is not just a piece of paper, it is a commitment and a promise to take care of each other even after death so getting “lawfully wedded “ is important especially if children are in the future plan.
You’re in an abusive relationship.
Congratulations on passing step 1! I’m proud of you.
Your husband is a bully. You cannot be coerced into giving up custody.
I might not advice to give you, but what I can do is say that you sound like a strong, extremely determined, and smart woman. You will find a way out of this.
You’re 28 so chill on the not getting younger talk. You got time.
Second sex isn’t hard as long as the people involved can talk about it openly. Nothing is doomed to fail unless you’re unwilling to try. If you want someone who’s experienced then you should find that person. Just remember there are people who’ve had sex hundreds of times and still suck at it.
Every partner I’ve ever had needed some coaching/direction.
Run. It's not always better to stay with the kids. I know from personal experience.
Run fast.
Break up I beg of you. He has somehow manipulated you into thinking he “wasn’t actually going to do it”, he was.
Why the heck is anyone giving you downvotes.
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I plan on drinking lots and ignoring anything weird thank you ?
Absolutely that too. If that kid is actually conceived and born and eventually finds out their origin, it would likely wreck them.
Life isn't a fairy tale. The goal isn't to get with a person to change or improve them, you arent a life coach. The goal should be to find a person who treats you well and choose to share your life with them because they treat you well and make you happy.
He can't change because he chooses not to and clearly has terrible self control if he continually says hurtful things to you. You should be his wife and partner, not his teacher.
The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting different results. That's what you are doing here in my opinion. You're accepting this behavior and letting him abuse you repeatedly without forcing him to go to counseling. You've shown him that you will continue to let him off the hook.
You not wasting to unpack the bathroom doesn't mean you deserve to be harassed and verbally abused. It makes me sad to think that you have accepted this as part of your day to day.
Everyone hits their breaking point. For me, it was my ex yelling at me when I asked him to take the trash out with me bc it was dark and I didn't want to go to the alley outside our apartment by myself. I finally hit my limit that day and am so thankful I did.
I can't tell you what to do. I can just tell you my experience, but it is so nice to not be constantly dearful of my partners reactions. I used to be terribly anxious and afraid of anything upsetting him. It is truly a relief to be with someone who I trust, who isn't perfect, but surely never verbally abuses me, and never calls me anything but baby.
Yes. To all of it. Leave him.
Daddy chill… what were you fighting about? Why let it escalate to that?
You are not ready. It's 2023 and condoms and sex isn't a taboo conversation. Are you on birth control?
When your partner starts taking her issues out on your child, there’s only one choice…leave! Your kid comes first.
Neither is compassion and empathy.
You left a stable relationship on an impulsive decision over something new? This is absolutely not healthy. Don’t you dare drag your ex into this shit show any further until you have worked on you. That man don’t deserve that after you left the way you did. Go to therapy and be alone. Stop dragging people along ruining their lives when you don’t even know what you want. I know it sucks but you have bigger problems to worry about. Work on you
Also why isn't OP helping with the nursery? Why is it up to the pregnant woman who is taking too long cause… She's pregnant
An adult conversation … where you shut down the way your wife with a speech impediment is most comfortable communicating when she is upset? After allowing your mother to change the details of your wife's nursery she was creating for her child? And claim you are a great listener? That's some seriously narcissistic BS.
No. No amount of time will ever restore that image of you. You might still have a relationship with them. But they'll never idolize you again. All children learn there parents are flawed ay some point. Theres no pitting that genie back in the bottle once its out.
Not at all that I can think of. I have backtracked from picking her up from work before when I was sick before but eventually relented and stayed with her overnight, pretty shit night just wanted to be in my own bed as I kept waking her up with my coughing
Nope. I went on one date with a guy like this, I tolerated it until I was mid sentence and he checked his phone. That was the end of the date.
I have, and it’s getting us no where, and she’s not really giving me solutions because she says she doesn’t know what the solution is.
Before you guys got together he managed to survive until the age of around 36. What was he eating then, surely not takeaway all the time. Sounds like he doesn't cook because you will.
As fellow redditor says, don't buy any more meat. You don't eat it and he don't pay for it. This feels like “weaponised incompetence” behaviour from him. Reward his laziness and create a vegetarian convert.
If he constantly pushes back, then time to set him loose.
Do it for the children
You guys are almost 40. High school was a long time ago. Why would you even be mad enough to be “swinging” at a fling from when she was in high school. The guy was wrong for saying that but my god your reaction was terrible.
I want to have the conversation in person, but idk if I’ll get the chance until tonight or tomorrow. Should I in the meanwhile still text Ben the response I came up with?
No. This isn't you. This is him. He's just a jerk, that's all there is to it. Don't continue to blame yourself for being insecure in a relationship where he's made you feel that way.
Yep, break it off. Let her find someone who does want her.