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LOL!
If you word it like that you're gonna get your head torn off.
Unless you're in a power trip that is
Yes
Most definitely tell her.
No there isnt. He's a cheater and his marriage is none of her business. The only good it would do is make OP feel better.
I'm just going to assume you're wither a misandrist or can't read and not bother trying to explain what should be plainly obvious to anyone.
How did you find out she was still talking to him? And how have you approached this conversation? In a marriage you should never talk down to the person you’re with. My personal philosophy is never go overboard trying to stop your partner from cheating. In my opinion I’d rather they cheat and I find out quickly than I stop them and they just get better at hiding it/ have an emotional affair (which I think is worse personally)
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Wow dude is dating a teenager and then gets offended the teenager is acting like one. What a shock. ?
They are bullies and you are being sexually harassed.
This reads like one of those shitty animated stories about how the straights ™ are so persecuted. If it's real, I'm sorry for what you're going through. I just don't buy it.
Yeah he has already told me he’s never going out again without me but I did say to him he needs to think if that’s the life he wants. But surely him saying that is a good sign that he wants to salvage what we have
Sweet home Alabama ?
Her asking you what you’re doing tomorrow at the end was her asking to see you again. She’s not going to instantly ask you to take her back cause she wants to go on dates and test the water. If you don’t want to take her back, then don’t worry about it anymore.
He has a right to his body and he’s clearly starting to change his mind about having biological children (some people do change their mind, I did). People are allowed to change.
And you are set on not having them, and that’s okay too.
Issue is now that you two are simply ignoring the fact that you two might not be compatible anymore, and it might be time to end it earlier, rather than later after having to go through loads of fights and resentment.
He’s a MASSIVE asshole. And think about it: it’s not just going to be about losing the weight (and then maybe more weight, and more), but also keeping it off. He’s already making it a condition of having a relationship with him. Honestly that sounds like an eating disorder waiting to happen.
Never commit to a relationship for someone that puts requirements on your looks. What would he do if 15 years from now you had a disease that changed your looks that you couldn’t do anything about?
What I do not get here is that all your comments are pushing back on the advice. You are not willing to even consider or try to understand what people telling you to figure something out with her.
So what is your goal with this post if you do not want to take the advice?
Are you hoping someone will agree with you, so that you feel better about yourself for being this selfish?
It sounds to me that you do not love her enough to figure out a small compromise by spending a half a day to have lunch with her family is seriously not a big deal.
She did it for you…(i do not care if you told her that she does not have to do it)
No this has been the only thing. I’ve never screwed up like this ever before. I don’t even know what I was thinking. There’s no excuse for it. She even said that I’ve been an amazing boyfriend and this happens. She said that just because of all the good I’ve done, doesn’t excuse this problem. I have a huge thing planned for her. I told her I have 3 phases of ways I’m going to get her back to just try and be cute and show her that I am very sorry. Phase 1 was a poem I wrote for her, which I sent. Phase 2 is tomorrow when we see each other I have a huge day planned, I have a night out of mini putt and bowling which I asked them to play music from the concert we were supposed to see (we didn’t go because she was so upset from me) and then I’m taking her out for dinner then I’m taking her to have some time out in this park. I also made 8 notes why I really like her and why she is amazing, along with a picture of a rose I drew which I’m going to place when I have a chance, either at night when she tells me to leave or if things go well and I spend the night, I’ll set them up in the morning. A trail of little letters with rose pedals leading to this picture of a rose. Phase 3 is I’m taking her on a trip.
She doesn't want either one of you. That makes this a total non-event. I guess it sucks for him, but what made her want to tell you about it? And why do you still think of her as your exclusive territory?
This is my take: He wants to have sex with her, and she wants to have sex with him. He is probably forbidden fruit to her, and he is immature, wants to bang left and right and definitely not ready to settle down. They will do something innocent like watching a movie together – after all, there is nothing wrong with two friends watching a movie. And then they will have a glass of wine, and suddenly the sexual tension is too much, they have sex, and afterwards they are SO shocked that it happened. Bl bla bla. The only reason we tempt fate like that, is because it's a convenient excuse. Circumstances just made it happen.
If he found her very attracting, but didn't want to risk his relationship with you, he wouldn't do this. I don't have any female friends for the same reason – I am lying to myself when I'm saying “no no, we can totally be platonic friends”, when in reality I just can't stop thinking about having sex with female friends.
So you are describing a friend, not a partner. He literally brings nothing positive to your life that you cant get from a friend and introduces so much more work and aggravation and sheer exhausting demands that even if he was a friend id drop him
You’re 100% right when you say that he can change and be better and nicer and treat you better.
But he is choosing not to because he already decided that you aren’t worth the effort. Break up with him and treat yourself better by lifting your standards, and eventually you will find someone you do that have to try to change.
1000000% agree with this
I was the wife in your dynamic. I was with my first husband 26 years. It wasn't until we had a child together when I learned about the ASD communication differences (child diagnosed at age 6) when all the pieces fell into place.
Your wife needs to learn how to communicate with you. You need to learn subtle communications with neuro-typicals.
We got over 10 years of being on the same page with our communications before he died and I still use the same techniques to talk with my son. To bottom line it for your wife:
– your partner is not fucking psychic – if you want something specific, ask for it – don't speak in generalities – don't be sarcastic or passive-aggressive – be direct in your language, but kind – the face must match the words
This is not naked to understand in theory, but it takes a lot of practice. The onus to have good communication should be 50-50, not 100% on your shoulders.
“Hey, I think it’s your turn to buy dinner.”
This is true – if my friend told me this about their bf, I would be furious. I am furious about it and mad for myself.
We practically live together at this point anyway and buying rather than renting just seemed to make the most sense considering he already owns his own home (which is too small for me to fully move in to), and I'm in a position to buy property by myself. We didn't see the point in us both owning separate properties, paying two mortgages, and running back and forth between each other's places. However, with the current state of things I don't think buying property together is on the cards at the moment, and I would be hesitant to reconsider until we're at least engaged as you said (provided this situation is ever resolvable).
I think it's crazy he's trying to play it off like a joke. He knows what he did. He realizes how fucked up it was. That's why he's refusing to take responsibility for it by calling it a “joke.”
Also, never let someone convince you to write checks your ass can't cash
Tell him you want to first try a threesome with another guy as many times this will shut him down. But you may just want to walk away from this relationship as if you don’t do it he will stray as he is thinking with his little head not as an adult
You are mean and cruel. You may think they can’t hear you but you would be surprised how well people can hear. Maybe you will be on the receiving end one day and finally understand what you are really about. I wish you luck, you’re going to need it, that’s going to be a tough wake up call for you.
No. He definitely cheated with her back then and it sounds like he is headed back down that road already if he isn't already there. Set a firm clear boundary about her and let him know if it is ever crossed the marriage will be in jeopardy.
It sounds like you don't love him, but you say he shows love to you.
Sounds like to checked out long ago and are surprised he's emotional left
Don;t cyber stalk the guy. You are broken up. let it go…if you need answers ask him. It didn't work out the first time, it wont work out the second, so just ask for the closure sake you need. Don't be surprised if he balks about talking about it. Some people are in bad denial or just really in the closet out of fear and shame(sadly).
Bad egg.
Freaking out on you at the bar is the red flag.
You should go back to wherever you were before. He’s not interested in being a parent. And move before you file for divorce or anything. But you should’ve never went back. He promised zero changes and he’s nit interested in making anything different. He gets everything he wants because you won’t say no. Leave
I'm not the OP, but I think it's exactly that. it's a form of what we used to call an “attention getting device” except his seems solely designed to also create guilt
Okay, without jumping straight to a conclusion. She is more than likely either planning something with this guy or already has done something with him. I obviously don't know you or your wife. But this so similar to so many stories I've seen and heard about. All I'm saying is, next thing is you'll find sexts from him and her. Or she'll start staying late at the office more frequently. It's a pattern of behavior, thay again I've seen so many times. Just don't be surprised if you get your heart broken. I really hope it's not the case. But generalities are just that for a reason.
You know nothing about his marriage at all. You haven’t said anything bad about their relationship. How can you say that he’s stuck in a bad marriage and deserves better? His wife has a medical condition that keeps her home-bound, but that didn’t stop him from loving her, marrying her, and having children with her. Her condition doesn’t mean that they have a bad marriage. You’re a homewrecker, you need a serious reality check